Ticket Stubs #11: I'm Back (In Order) Part I

As I mentioned in the last issue of Ticket Stubs, my posting situation at San Diego State University back in the day had been seriously compromised by the campus' internet security software, which for some reason was blocking Yahoo! Groups at the time, leaving me and the rest of the GodsOfMelee crew without a way to post while on campus.
As a result, I had some issues of SW@ Ticket stored up, so the issue numbers were temporarily out of order. When the posting situation improved, I therefore released the Back In Order Boxed Set, which you will see the first half of below.

FROM October 5, 2004 (SW@ Ticket #19: Revenge and Punishment): You don't need super powers to kick ass, and the two reviews today are the proof in the proverbial pudding.

First up is a low budget, high octane thriller called Highwaymen: Stephen King's Christine meets M Night Shyamalan's Unbreakable, by way of a human interest story. Jim Caviezel (The Count of Monte Cristo) is a retired doctor whose wife was run down by a deranged auto insurance adjuster (Colm Feore, The Chronicles of Riddick). Critically injured by Caviezel and rebuilt like a prosthetic $6M Man, Feore targets random women with a trophy killer's MO (see Jeff Daniels in Blood Work or Michael C. Hall in Dexter) and runs them down in his modified Chevy El Dorado.
Caviezel (also with an impressive streetcar, and visions of revenge dancing in his head) tracks Feore across the country. True, there are the necessary stereotype characters thrown in to get the movie to its climax--a cop looking for the wrong man and a surviving victim who becomes the love interest and the bait--but plenty of car chases, explosions, and other guy movie stuff to make it good. Not the best movie or the most original elements, but good nonetheless.
B-

Moving on to punishment (and making me into Mr. Obvious), we come to The Punisher. New guy Thomas Jane plays the title superhero without superpowers, but a bulletproof car, springloaded holsters, illegally
modified guns, and three helpful neighbors. When his entire family (not just wife and kids; parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, the works) are killed by mob leader Howard Saint (Battlefield Earth's John Travolta), undercover CIA operative Frank Castle puts his military background to good use via excessive amounts of semi-comedic torture, blackmailing Saint's gay sadist right hand man (Will Patton of Remember the Titans), murder by way of mistaken identity, Robin Hood antics, and general ass-kickery directed at whatever hired gun gets in the way--from a hitman who acts like Johnny-Cash-meets-El-Mariachi to a seven foot Russian who looks like a professional wrestler in a gondolier outfit.
The showdown between The Punisher and Saint could have (and should have) been more than just tying him to the bumper of an exploding car and disengaging the brake, the film was mostly too dark to make anything out, and the violence was at times too graphic. But the humor was great (especially with the tortured errand boy, the neighbors, and the big Russian), the explosions were plenty (one at the end where Punisher makes his skull logo out of exploding cars was VERY cool), the violence was realistic and dramatic, and Stan Lee never fails to make the opening credits of a Marvel movie look incredible. Not on par with Spider-Man or Daredevil (now considered a major flop), but worthy of praise.
A-

Quick note on Jim Caviezel: Passion of the Christ was a hyped-up piece of crap--boring, brutal, mean, tunnel vision focused entirely on the crucifixion, and it's not even in English!
To Mel Gibson: I get that you're a tortured soul in search of sympathy, but I don't want your empire of dirt, I don't want to be let down, and I don't want you to make me hurt. Christ was crucified, yes, but you don't have to crucify the audience with him. I hope your next directing venture will have some quality in it. In the meantime, save some sympathy for the devil.
F-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------(You get the idea; it sucks beyond words)


Hurt (Covered Brilliantly) 2002 by the late, great Johnny Cash.
Rest In Peace.
Also, (C) & (R) 1996 by NIN. Trent Reznor is a genius.

With a few updates and tweaks, that's Back In Order: Part I, Ticketholders! Also featured is another of my early Easter Eggs, the copyright statement; sometimes informative, sometimes funny, but always relevant. Stay tuned for Part II of Back In Order, coming soon to a Tuesday near you.