Just the Ticket #235: Godzilla - Final Wars
Article by Sean Wilkinson, a.k.a. The Ticketmaster. Today, Ticketholders, Goj -Year- ra coverage of the Millennium Era ends not with a bang, but with a cheap, nauseating whimper of insincere flattery and poorly butchered pandering, topped with sixty-nine slices of expired cheese offscreen, and served under orange lighting in a mercury-plated toilet upholstered with glossy leather. While the toilet is flushing. And exploding. In 2004, for the fiftieth anniversary of Gojira , Toho and director Ryuhei Kitamura (who would go on to direct The Midnight Meat Train , but also directed a film called Sky High —not the one about the superhero school with Kurt Russell , but if it was, the visuals in this movie would surprise me even less than they already don't) brought us Godzilla: Final Wars . It's essentially a remake of Destroy All Monsters and Invasion Of Astro-Monster with an extra, derivative word salad of absurdity to the human plot thrown on top, based on a script by...