Countdown to TixMas #8: Envy (Ticket Stubs #49)

Article by Sean Wilkinson,
a.k.a. The TixMaster

'Tis the eighth day of the Countdown to TixMas; no poem for the seventh.
I wrote that one before this stunt; the results were still quite pleasant.
Today, Jack Black and a deadly sin that's known for being green
Will bring you some of the dumbest gifts that you have ever seen.
A dessert of the smallest size, and disappearing shit
Will have you laughing from your eyes and contorting up a fit.
Like and comment down below, and you will get to see
A brand "new" Ticket Stubs review of Envy!

Every year when I was growing up, Christmas would be the time for useless novelty gifts, like Chia Pets (whose body afros are now considered a health food), The Clapper (for people who are inconvenienced by remote controls and light switches--it had the same packaging as a Chia Pet, by the way), and that plastic reindeer that pooped candy (which was impossible to refill because the toy was discontinued the following year). This year, what caught my attention more than anything (besides the Vibe pillow commercial; seriously, that ad is brilliant in so many ways; even if you never buy anything from AllAboutVibe.com, you'll thank me for recommending you watch that commercial) was a commercial for this cleaner and odor eliminator called Pooph! I only ever saw the commercial once, but when I did, I immediately thought of a movie I reviewed in SWAT Ticket #20: Eternal Envy Of the Spotless Mind (FROM October 15, 2004), the aforementioned Envy, which (as you could probably tell by the least original issue title I came up with for a post in 2004, barring my earliest reviews which had no titles at all) was a double-review with Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind starring Jim Carrey. Didn't I tell you it was all connected? 
Getting on with the show, Envy is a huge laffriot starring Ben Stiller and Jack Black. Stiller is a highly focused, rational-thinking businessman with an upper-middle management position at the local sandpaper factory. Black is his convenient opposite: a bottom-rung slob with his head in the clouds. But despite their differences, Stiller and Black are friends and co-workers who love to share ideas with each other. When Black's character develops a crap-removal spray, makes millions, builds an obscenely large house across the street, buys a merry-go-round and a white horse, and eats flan every night for dessert before going to sleep in his 19-person, orgy-sized bed, Stiller gets a little bit jealous. Envious comedy and deception result in equally obscene quantities, and the question of "where does the poo go? We wanna know!" leads to tragedy and the invention of Pocket Flan. The music is done in a Randy Newman, "You Got a Friend in Me" style with lyrics that fit the plot (similar to the Farrelly Brothers' Something About Mary Band) and are ludicrously funny. Christopher Walken lends his talent to the cast as a crazy bum and Ben Stiller's partner in anti-Jack crime. Sounds utterly stupid, but is definitely worth watching.
A

Stay Tuned, wait smart, and save those Ticket Stubs! The Countdown to TixMas crosses over with Zenescope - Omnibusted as we take a very long walk in a not-so-winter Wonderland.

TixMaster,
Out.

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