Countdown to TixMas #3: Be Cool (Ticket Stubs #46)
Article by Sean Wilkinson,
a.k.a. The TixMaster.
I began yesterday's post with a reference to awkward relationships, of which I have been in exactly three. One was kind of perfect, but happened at the wrong time, and she liked to put way too much melted cheese on everything. It's weird being the flighty, noncommittal one who's afraid to say no, but I guess that's the Universe balancing out my first two, two-timing girlfriends (who were both immature, flighty, noncommittal, and "didn't want to hurt my feelings" by rejecting me. I don't know what happened to the first two-timer, but the second one got noticeably more karmically affected each time she came into the store to shop (usually shortly after I would hear "Don't Do Me Like That" by Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers on the supermarket's looping pop station, because of course it would), and the one who gave me a good (but clingy and cheesy) relationship experience was an amicable breakup, and she met another guy while working on a farm.
But I'm rambling, it's the third day of the Countdown to TixMas, and I should explain why I'm bringing up awkward relationships again. It's because my original review for Be Cool (the lesser, PG-13 sequel to Get Shorty) FROM May 12, 2005 was titled SW@ Ticket #37 What's Cooler Than Bein' Cool? Which is a lyric from "Hey Ya!" by Outkast. A group who had "Andre 3000" Benjamin as a member. Who was in Be Cool. Which has no discernible connection to Kevin Bacon, but if you listen to the lyrics of "Hey Ya!" and not its funky, up-tempo instrumentation, you will find that it is about a man in denial and scarred by a one-sided, loveless relationship. So yeah, What's Cooler Than Bein' Cool?
ICE COLD!
I can't hear ya.
I say, "What's Cooler Than Bein' Cool?"
ICE COLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AlrightAlrightAlrightAlrightAlrightAlrightAlrightAlrightAlrightAlrightAlright....
Okay now ladies.
(Yeah?)
I want y'all to help me break this thing down for just a few seconds..............................
TixMaster's Note: In my original review on Yahoo! Groups, I got going on the above "Outkast jag" for the above-mentioned, "Four-ish Degrees Of Not Kevin Bacon" reasons, and I was trying to be a mildly shocking, heavily pandering-to-my-friends, immature college student with a review hobby. So because of that, and because there was too much spoilentary and foul language in this review, there is no "better," Greatest Hits version for your comparison pleasure. Simply enjoy the youthful roughness that is the original, and reference my more recent review style and prose if you wish to make growth comparisons of your own. Remember to comment and click those social media buttons down below, and let's continue...:
As Travolta's character is trying to figure out who killed his old boss, get Milian's music career off the ground, raise money that doesn't exist so he can save his own ass, have sex with his dead boss's widow, and look good on camera, he manages to piss everyone off and still not get shot. Everything works out in some incomprehensible way, the audience laughs, and the credits roll.
Vince Vaughn's character was annoying as hell (nothing worse than an ignorant whigro with a gay bodyguard and a shiny red bat) but still funny somehow. I guess if you laugh loud enough, you can't hear the stupid shit he's saying, so "it's all good, homeslice." I ask you again, What's Cooler Than Bein' Cool? Making Be Cool a little too cool? I think not. But it was still funny.
B[e] Cool, it gets a B,
Period.
[Insert terrible Mr. Freeze pun from Batman & Robin here], and Stay Tuned (literally) and save those Ticket Stubs as tomorrow, I will review something that actually is related to Kevin Bacon.
TixMaster,
Out.
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