Countdown to TixMas #1: Tube Almighty (Ticket Stubs #45)

Article by Sean Wilkinson,

a.k.a. The TixMaster Who Can't Count

I can count, but this started out as the Twelve Days Of TixMas, and I realized that the day I had planned to start my first ever official Christmas special (Tuesday, December 13, a.k.a. TODAY) would have put me at thirteen days (because yes, subtracting thirteen from twenty-five does give you twelve, but it doesn't account for the zero-indexing of including the day you start from, so really, if you count to twelve, starting with thirteen, you stop at twenty-four. So in a bid for nostalgia points and pageviews, I got inspired by my first ever official Halloween special, and switched branding to the Countdown to TixMas. Now, I can count as much as I want and only Christmas itself can stop me! MWOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!!!

I'm pretty sure I used that evil laugh thing when I was doing the Halloween countdown, too.

And I already did a retroview post on today's film selection. But I don't care either way, and I haven't given it the newer Ticket Stubs comparison treatment, so here it is.

Oh, and if you're wondering what an old review of a movie about Adam Sandler getting reality-warping powers has to do with Christmas? It's gifts, angels, and God. Let's get this Countdown rolling with my review of Click FROM SW@ Ticket #52: Tube Almighty (July 24, 2006): Back in 2003, there was a little comedy in which Jim Carrey played Bruce; a man who felt God was giving him the short end of the stick until God decided to take a vacation and put him in charge of the universe, supernatural powers and all.  After Bruce's selfish misuse of God's powers, the world goes to hell and he learns a valuable lesson about the human spirit, willpower, etc.

But Bruce Almighty is old news.  It's time to review the 2006 incarnation of Goofy: Master of the Universe (which can now be streamed on these platforms).  This time around, Jim Carrey is replaced by Adam Sandler, Morgan Freeman's God by Christopher Walken's Morty (who, in a slightly delicious play on the Latin lexicon, turns out to be the Angel of Death), and God's powers by (here's a play on words you'll never see coming) "a universal remote that remote-controls your universe." The flesh and flash may be different, but the bones are very much the same: slacker comes into possession of some super-cool mojo and gets much enjoyment out of punishing his enemies and bestowing extravagancies on his friends and family when all they need is love, all to comic effect; slacker notices mojo getting out of control and his world as he knows it going to pieces, slacker wakes up after divine intervention as a new man (in Click, Newman just happens to be the slacker's last name; imagine that).

Happy-Madison alums such as Rob Schneider (unrecognizable in the beginning as an Arab businessman--which doesn't "age well" considering the stigma of [insert color here]-face, if you're significantly, unironically bothered by such things), Henry Winkler (Waterboy's Coach Kline), and Sean Astin (Drew Barrymore's steroid-using brother in 50 First Dates) make cameo appearances to further the comedy, Kate Beckinsale (Underworld) is the too-hot-for-goofball wife, and David Hasselhoff is the straw-man boss subject to physical and gastro-intestinal abuse for his cartoonish meanness.  As a Happy-Madison production, Click hits all the right buttons.

But comedy aside (nay, comedy included), it's a cinematic rerun.
C+

Ticketmaster's Note: the above was the Greatest Hits portfolio version of the Click review, featuring the usual professionalized language, concise phrasing, and omissions of content that could be copyright-stricken if included. The part about problematic color-face was a recent addition for this post. What follows is the original version, as I had previously released it on Yahoo! Groups, and as Ticketverse Throwbacks #6:

Back in 2003, there was a little comedy in which Jim Carrey played a man who felt he was being screwed by God on an hourly basis until God decided to take a vacation and put him in charge of the universe, supernatural powers and all.
After Bruce's selfish misuse of God's powers, the world goes to hell and he learns a valuable lesson about the human spirit, will, blah, blah, blah. Oh yeah, it's really funny, too; did I forget to mention that part?

Anyway, Bruce Almighty is old news. Time to review the 2006 incarnation of Goofy: Master of the Universe. This time around, Jim Carrey is replaced by Adam Sandler, Morgan Freeman's God by Christopher Walken's Morty (who, in a slightly delicious play on the Latin lexicon, turns out to be the Angel of Death), and God's powers by (here's a play on words you'll never see coming) "a universal remote that remote-controls your universe." The flesh and flash may be different, but the bones are very much the same: slacker comes into possession of some super-cool mojo and gets much enjoyment out of punishing his enemies and bestowing extravagances on his friends and family when all they need is love (🎶bup-badubada🎶) to comic effect, slacker notices mojo getting out of control and his world as he knows it going to pieces, slacker wakes up after divine intervention as a new man (in Click, Newman just happens to be the slacker's last name; imagine that). Happy-Madison alums such as Rob Schneider (unrecognizable in the beginning as an Arab businessman), Henry Winkler (The Waterboy's Coach Kline), and Sean Astin (Drew Barrymore's roid-using bro in 50 First Dates) make cameo appearances to further the comedy, Kate Beckinsale (Underworld) is the to-hot-for-goofball wife, and David Hasselhoff is the straw-man boss subjected to physical and gastrointestinal abuse for his cartoonish meanness. As a Happy-Madison production, Click hits all the right buttons.

But comedy aside (heck, comedy included), it's a cinematic rerun.
C+

If the Lyric Fits:
"On those Saturdays when kids go out and play,
Yo I was up in my room I let the stereo blaze,
Wasn't faded, not jaded
Just a kid with a pad and pen and a big imagination.
All this, I seek, I find
I push the envelope to the line,
Make it, break it, take it
Until I'm overrated
Click, Click, BOOM!"
-Saliva, "Click Click Boom" (Duh)

Just for jollies, and because it's the gift-giving season, here's the official music video for that song:

Remember to do your own clicking to comment, like, share, subscribe, and give the internet's version of junk mail some attention so my ad revenue can go up. Tomorrow night, we get back to Zenescope - Omnibusted to shoehorn in some loose Christmas theming.

TixMaster,

Out.