Welcome To the Dead Parade #9: Slither
Yes, that's the best I could come up with for a title. The Soundtrack's Daily Originals Quiz didn't work out that well (only three pageviews for the first post and no comments to answer), but the show, and the Dead Parade, must march on. Today, as if you couldn't deduce by the oh-so-clever title, I will be reviewing one of my favorite zombie-ish movies of the past decade: 2006's Slither.
With a meteor on a collision course with Earth, stupid redneck cops, a town called Wheelsy, and a character named Grant Grant (Patient Zero, played by The Walking Dead's Michael Rooker), you kinda know what to expect out of Slither, James Gunn's directorial follow-up to the Dawn Of the Dead remake of 2004. But then it kind of delivers.
Rooker all but steals the show as the above-mentioned Patient Zero, who upon being stung by an alien parasite, begins crying more than usual, eating red meat by the fridge-full (and whatever neighborhood pets and livestock are near at hand), and mutating into "a goddamned squid with lime disease," all while trying to fight the hunger that has overtaken him and reconnect with his wife, Starla (Elizabeth Banks, the Spider-Man trilogy), whom he deeply loves, even though he cheated on her with another woman. Strangely, Rooker's Grant seemed to care for his wife more when he was no longer himself. Go figure.
The other woman winds up impregnated with thousands of parasites, resulting in the biggest fat suit I have ever seen and one of the only really suspenseful, scary scenes in Slither: the red, tongue-looking parasites spreading across town, swarming over people like flesh-eating ants, covering walls and ceilings, and even the old slasher movie staple, attacking a naked woman in a bathtub (see poster above). Another great nail-biting scene is a nod to Alfred Hitchcock's Psycho, as the possessed Grant fights off an urge to attack his wife in the shower. I like seeing a woman naked as much as the next straight man, but seriously, what's the deal with the bathroom scenes in scary movies?
Unfortunately, after the parasites find their mark, Slither degenerates into Return Of the Living Dead territory as the infected townsfolk become goofy, talking (and sometimes acid-spitting) zombies with lines like "you damned Republicans are all the same! Do you think I like being this hungry?" and the usual zombie-related running, screaming, and gore ensue. It's The Blob, it's Invasion Of the Body Snatchers, it's Creepshow, it's Psycho, it's Return Of the Living Dead, it's stupid as hell while being referentially smart, it's a blender of cheesy horror movie insanity, it sucks, and it's supposed to. I guess that's why I like it so much. Can't you tell?
B+
Tomorrow the Dead Parade hits 10 with a review of the British ghost-chiller, The Woman In Black. Stay tuned and spread the fever. I'm out.
Rooker all but steals the show as the above-mentioned Patient Zero, who upon being stung by an alien parasite, begins crying more than usual, eating red meat by the fridge-full (and whatever neighborhood pets and livestock are near at hand), and mutating into "a goddamned squid with lime disease," all while trying to fight the hunger that has overtaken him and reconnect with his wife, Starla (Elizabeth Banks, the Spider-Man trilogy), whom he deeply loves, even though he cheated on her with another woman. Strangely, Rooker's Grant seemed to care for his wife more when he was no longer himself. Go figure.
 |
| I wish I had a watermelon. No, wait...hand me that possum carcass instead! |
Unfortunately, after the parasites find their mark, Slither degenerates into Return Of the Living Dead territory as the infected townsfolk become goofy, talking (and sometimes acid-spitting) zombies with lines like "you damned Republicans are all the same! Do you think I like being this hungry?" and the usual zombie-related running, screaming, and gore ensue. It's The Blob, it's Invasion Of the Body Snatchers, it's Creepshow, it's Psycho, it's Return Of the Living Dead, it's stupid as hell while being referentially smart, it's a blender of cheesy horror movie insanity, it sucks, and it's supposed to. I guess that's why I like it so much. Can't you tell?
B+
Tomorrow the Dead Parade hits 10 with a review of the British ghost-chiller, The Woman In Black. Stay tuned and spread the fever. I'm out.
Comments
Post a Comment