Welcome To the Dead Parade #10: Letting Loose Of the Noose

No zombies, vampires, or werewolves today, folks! The Parade is going back to ghosts for a review of The Woman In Black, a B-Ho (British Horror, as opposed to J-Ho, Japanese Horror) chiller about a failing lawyer who is forced to save his career by settling the estate of a woman who hung herself following the death of her son, and now haunts the town, hypnotizing and killing local children as revenge for neglecting to search for his body.

The lawyer is played by Harry Potter himself, Daniel Radcliffe, living proof (an ironic choice of words), depending on the camera angle, that Brits--no matter how handsome they may be as teenagers--can grow up to be strikingly more handsome or wind up looking Prince Charles ugly. At times Radcliffe's eyebrows are so bushy and unkempt, and his skin lit so pale, that I expected him to morph into vampire or werewolf any second (just had to work 'em in there, didn't I?), had I not known WIB was a ghost picture.

Like its Japanese cousins, The Grudge and The Ring, The Woman In Black features a shrieking, slack-jawed spirit and centers around the hero alternately being briefly scared and lengthily resigned to reading documents in an effort to both do his job and solve the mystery that he hopes will put the woman to rest. But much of what the filmmakers show us viewers does more to build the hype and menace of the Woman than to flesh out any kind of story. And as in its J-Ho predecessors, the protagonist of The Woman In Black is too stupid and focused on the task at hand that it takes him almost an hour of frightened townsfolk trying to push him on a train out of town before he even thinks to ask why.

As for the scares, they are few and far between, mostly triggered by loud noises you know are coming at some point (at a disappointing pace). The remainder are less scares than chills, as the vengeful ghost's cries are at a frequency (probably lab-tested) to make the spine crawl. And how depressed are the English that they are able to kill the hero and turn it into a happy ending?

The spine-chilling aspect is innovative, but don't believe the hype. Overall I wanted more polish from The Woman In Black. Never forgive! Never forgive!

D+

Tomorrow, Just the Ticket returns, trading Black for shades of The Grey. Stay tuned, and FLAYVERR FLAYVV!!!!