Just the Ticket #28: Avengers Gone Haywire
The SW@ Ticket tradition made its triumphant return on Just the Ticket this week with a birthday purchase of Mighty proportions: a ticket to the 4pm showing of Avengers at the Lee Theater right next door in Ephrata, WA. At the time I began writing this, I had not yet seen The Avengers, so I've started with what is obviously my weekly rental: the spy actioner, Haywire.
Haywire is the big-screen debut for MMA fighter Gina Carano, also starring such big names as Channing Tatum (who is also president of the I Need A First Name Association), Ewan McGregor, Antonio Banderas, and Michael Douglas (whose father Kirk was the founding member of the I Need A Last Name Association).
By the way, why do Latin names sound so dorky when translated into English? I mean, Antonio Banderas...badass name, right? Translate it into English and you get Tony Flags (wasn't he whacked on the first season of The Sopranos?). Enrique Iglesias may sound like a sexy name, but Henry Churches sounds like a Brit with a stick up his ass. And everyone wants to have a vacation home in Boca Raton, until they find out they're tanning themselves at a beach in Rat's Mouth.
Okay, back to the movie. Plotwise, Haywire is your standard Spy Hunts Down Her Traitorous Bosses picture. In terms of production, it plays like a work in progress. The initial fight between Carano and Tatum is as awkward as their chemistry, leading to some terrible acting on both their parts. Thankfully, his character is the first to die.
There are also some staging inconsistencies (a folding table Carano throws down the stairs to delay the police is not there when they arrive, characters repeatedly get punched in the face and suffer no bruises or bleeding--is this The Three Stooges?). But as things progress, the acting generally improves and the obviously Ultimate Fighter-derived fight choreography gets slightly more inventive.
Haywire really hits its stride around the halfway mark with an urban foot chase and wilderness car chase that bring to mind The American and The Bourne Identity, and ends in a supercool way that leaves an opening for Haywire 2. It certainly has its flaws, but they are soon easily overlooked, given the fact that it is an action movie with big enough guest stars to warrant a look.
B-
The big-budget blockbuster billed as Marvel's The Avengers (so as not to be confused with the 1998 disaster in which Uma Thurman and Rayfe Fines--yes, I know I spelled it "wrong," but the guy should just start calling himself Ralf Feyenis so as to avoid being a Brit with a stick up his ass like good ol' Henry Churches over there--take on Sean Connery's Weather Wizard Wannabe) did not go Haywire (see what I just did there?), but it very well could have.
Every star to be found in every Avengers Initiative film thus far (except for the Hulk, who was played this time by Mark Ruffalo) is crammed into this movie, which is usually a terrible sign. Ditto the possible contraction of Sequelitis, the over-the-top special effects, and the looming dislike of "no one will notice this character is being played by a different person--again." And I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved by the absence of 3D in The Avengers, but honestly, it wasn't really needed.
The Avengers is like Transformers: Dark Of the Moon without 3D: every performance, every scene, every second is exploding (in most cases, literally) with action, tension, comedy, and a general sense of spectacle as Earth's Mightiest Heroes battle Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and his army of magical techno-organic warriors in the streets and skies of New York City and trade quips aboard Nick Fury's (Samuel L. Jackson) massive, flying, invisible aircraft carrier. Normally, this is the time I would start harping on the ridiculous crap I am forced to write while describing a movie, but The Avengers is so generally awesome (and comic-book authentic), that I instead ask, "Who cares?"
Another question is: Who knew Scarlett Johansson (Black Widow) could look even hotter and kick even more ass than she did in Iron Man 2?
But seriously, the action actually manages to be both massive in scale and (in the words of Loki) let the gods duke it out while keeping the ants in perspective for once, which is an accomplishment as far as superhero flicks go.
Whoever did the effects on Loki's army deserves a medal. The flying machines are like alien Centaurs that react to the rider's weight distribution. The soldiers have exposed muscle and nerve tissue that can be ripped out to incapacitate them. The giant flying fish are living ships that exude foot soldiers from their gills and smash through scenery in an effort to eat any unfortunate flying knights (like Iron Man) that get in their way. The biology is so accurate, yet so alien that it's impressive in lieu of its fakery.
Despite my misgivings about yet a third Hulk, I thoroughly enjoyed Mark Ruffalo's performance as Dr. Banner. Eric Bana's dramatic, tortured Banner, and even the masterful Ed Norton's reclusive, contemplative Banner, pale in comparison with Ruffalo's incarnation. Having faced his demons and learned the secret to keeping "...The Other Guy" at bay, Ruffalo's Banner is simmering with tempered sarcasm, able to trade insults with fellow supergenius Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) and the rest of the boys--and girl--like Eminem in a battle rap.
Finally, The Avengers addressed some of the questions I had and made up for the lack of enthusiasm I felt after watching some of the previous films and delivered yet another awesome spoiler ending. Props to Lee, Arad, Favreau, and Whedon for assembling a team as superheroic as themselves.
A+
Tomorrow I will bring you another look at Coming Distractions, featuring the movies previewed during the Avengers screening, and next week brings reviews of The Vow and a special Dead Parade retrospective on the Underworld series to mark the release of Underworld Awakening on DVD.
By the way, why do Latin names sound so dorky when translated into English? I mean, Antonio Banderas...badass name, right? Translate it into English and you get Tony Flags (wasn't he whacked on the first season of The Sopranos?). Enrique Iglesias may sound like a sexy name, but Henry Churches sounds like a Brit with a stick up his ass. And everyone wants to have a vacation home in Boca Raton, until they find out they're tanning themselves at a beach in Rat's Mouth.
Okay, back to the movie. Plotwise, Haywire is your standard Spy Hunts Down Her Traitorous Bosses picture. In terms of production, it plays like a work in progress. The initial fight between Carano and Tatum is as awkward as their chemistry, leading to some terrible acting on both their parts. Thankfully, his character is the first to die.
There are also some staging inconsistencies (a folding table Carano throws down the stairs to delay the police is not there when they arrive, characters repeatedly get punched in the face and suffer no bruises or bleeding--is this The Three Stooges?). But as things progress, the acting generally improves and the obviously Ultimate Fighter-derived fight choreography gets slightly more inventive.
Haywire really hits its stride around the halfway mark with an urban foot chase and wilderness car chase that bring to mind The American and The Bourne Identity, and ends in a supercool way that leaves an opening for Haywire 2. It certainly has its flaws, but they are soon easily overlooked, given the fact that it is an action movie with big enough guest stars to warrant a look.
B-
Every star to be found in every Avengers Initiative film thus far (except for the Hulk, who was played this time by Mark Ruffalo) is crammed into this movie, which is usually a terrible sign. Ditto the possible contraction of Sequelitis, the over-the-top special effects, and the looming dislike of "no one will notice this character is being played by a different person--again." And I'm not sure if I'm disappointed or relieved by the absence of 3D in The Avengers, but honestly, it wasn't really needed.
The Avengers is like Transformers: Dark Of the Moon without 3D: every performance, every scene, every second is exploding (in most cases, literally) with action, tension, comedy, and a general sense of spectacle as Earth's Mightiest Heroes battle Loki (Tom Hiddleston) and his army of magical techno-organic warriors in the streets and skies of New York City and trade quips aboard Nick Fury's (Samuel L. Jackson) massive, flying, invisible aircraft carrier. Normally, this is the time I would start harping on the ridiculous crap I am forced to write while describing a movie, but The Avengers is so generally awesome (and comic-book authentic), that I instead ask, "Who cares?"
Another question is: Who knew Scarlett Johansson (Black Widow) could look even hotter and kick even more ass than she did in Iron Man 2?
But seriously, the action actually manages to be both massive in scale and (in the words of Loki) let the gods duke it out while keeping the ants in perspective for once, which is an accomplishment as far as superhero flicks go.
Whoever did the effects on Loki's army deserves a medal. The flying machines are like alien Centaurs that react to the rider's weight distribution. The soldiers have exposed muscle and nerve tissue that can be ripped out to incapacitate them. The giant flying fish are living ships that exude foot soldiers from their gills and smash through scenery in an effort to eat any unfortunate flying knights (like Iron Man) that get in their way. The biology is so accurate, yet so alien that it's impressive in lieu of its fakery.
Despite my misgivings about yet a third Hulk, I thoroughly enjoyed Mark Ruffalo's performance as Dr. Banner. Eric Bana's dramatic, tortured Banner, and even the masterful Ed Norton's reclusive, contemplative Banner, pale in comparison with Ruffalo's incarnation. Having faced his demons and learned the secret to keeping "...The Other Guy" at bay, Ruffalo's Banner is simmering with tempered sarcasm, able to trade insults with fellow supergenius Tony Stark (Robert Downey, Jr.) and the rest of the boys--and girl--like Eminem in a battle rap.
Finally, The Avengers addressed some of the questions I had and made up for the lack of enthusiasm I felt after watching some of the previous films and delivered yet another awesome spoiler ending. Props to Lee, Arad, Favreau, and Whedon for assembling a team as superheroic as themselves.
A+
Tomorrow I will bring you another look at Coming Distractions, featuring the movies previewed during the Avengers screening, and next week brings reviews of The Vow and a special Dead Parade retrospective on the Underworld series to mark the release of Underworld Awakening on DVD.
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