Dragon Blog Z #3: What If GOKU Was NEVER BORN? (Part 1)
Article by Sean Wilkinson,
a.k.a. A MasakoX Fan
I love anime! I love Dragon Ball! I love Dragon Ball Z: Abridged! And for the past five years, the voice of Goku and Gohan in Abridged, Lawrence "MasakoX" Simpson, has been pondering alternative scenarios from the world of Dragon Ball (and analyzing the franchise for even longer). Among these speculative scenarios, he has considered what would happen if certain, short-lived villains were spared and turned good, if background characters were made more relevant by "training like Goku" or "becoming a Z-Fighter," if the story had a different protagonist, or if certain key moments happened slightly differently, as well as the subject of today's article: the "What If ___ Never Existed" trope (which was also the subject of his first foray into the genre).
I've watched other What If? YouTubers, like SmugStick and Salad Saiyan, and they just don't compare to MasakoX in terms of voice talent, script vocabulary, or depth of character.
That said, Masako's latest video, "What If Goku Was Never Born?", feels rushed and needs work.
Check it out here:
This was originally going to be a one-off reaction piece, but I let scope creep get the better of me, and I'm already late getting this out, so I'm going to split the story and release another part next week. Don't forget to like and comment down below, and I hope you all enjoy!
What Masako forgets in this--and just ignores later on so that characters can suddenly be there when the plot he created demands it--is Jaco: The Galactic Patrolman. In that prequel manga leading up to Dragon Ball Minus (Toriyama's retroactive Superman-ing of Goku's origin story), it's revealed that Jaco's entire reason for being on Earth is because the Galactic Patrol detected Goku's Saiyan pod landing there. We also learn that Jaco saves the life of a girl named Tights (Bulma's sister, who was body-doubling for a pop idol aboard a test rocket), and that the pair encounter a scientist named Omori, who is working on a time machine (a design which would later be perfected by a future Bulma and used by her son to stop their dark timeline from happening in the main continuity). So no Goku? No Jaco. No Jaco? Tights dies in space when the rocket explodes. Tights is dead? Bulma would not be worried about boyfriends and unlimited fruit; she'd be gathering the Dragon Balls to revive Tights.
The actual first hunt for the Dragon Balls ("The Pilaf Saga" in the original) would otherwise progress the same as Masako supposes, but with Bulma being more desperate than selfish in her actions. As such, she and Yamcha (with Puar and Oolong's shapeshifting powers getting them all out of Pilaf's kiln room) would get the opportunity to wish on the Dragon Balls. But there's a problem: the Dragon can't wish back people who have been dead for more than a year, and it's been more than a year since Tights died. So two scenarios could happen at this point:
1. Oolong interrupts Bulma to wish for women's panties like in the original, leaving Bulma to search for alternative means of reviving Tights. Through her father, Dr. Briefs, Bulma would learn of Omori and his time machine. You might be wondering why I didn't have Bulma ask Shenron to point her to a time machine, and my answer is Beerus. Beerus hates mortal time travel. Shenron is scared of Beerus. So, Shenron wouldn't risk the fate of the planet to help a mortal travel through time. Therefore, I just had Oolong do his usual thing because he's a perverted pig, and Bulma finds her way to Omori. From here, Bulma could use the time machine to save Tights from the rocket explosion herself. This could catch the attention of Cronoa, the Supreme Kai of Time, and land Bulma in some crazy, multi-timeline adventures inspired by the Xenoverse games and Super Dragon Ball Heroes. My pick is going to be #2, though:
2. Bulma simply asks Shenron if there is another way to revive Tights, and he reveals the truth about Kami being a Namekian, and that their home planet might be somewhere to look.
Bulma uses a mini-jet to fly up to Kami's lookout, drops the "you're not God, you're an alien" bombshell on him, and Mr. Popo (the polarizing ethnic caricature/genie who serves as Kami's assistant) shows her to Kami's old ship, much earlier than in the original. While she and her father are making it space-worthy, Yamcha is training with Master Roshi and his new student, Krillin, who clashes personalities with the ex-bandit immediately. Also, they compete in the 21st Tenkaichi Budokai (World Martial Arts Tournament in the English dubs), which a disguised Roshi wins under the name of Jackie Chun when he uses his height advantage against Krillin in much the same way as he defeated Goku in the original.
Following the tournament, the Namekian ship is fully repaired, and Bulma, Yamcha, Krillin, and a curious Kami, head for Namek. As the Namekian village elders sense no ill will among the group, and there is no interference by the Freiza Force this early in the story, the Namekian Dragon Balls are gathered without much opposition (Nail and Kami clash a bit at first, but that's all). Not only is there no resurrection time on these, but they grant three wishes instead of just one. So because reviving people in Dragon Ball restores their body at the location of the person's remains, there is some trauma and nausea as Bulma uses the first wish to bring Tights' remains to Namek, and the second wish to revive her.
The third wish would be to send the scout party back to Earth, but only Krillin and Yamcha (with Bulma having given them the Dragon Radar) would be teleported because Tights (a budding science fiction writer) would want to get inspiration from Namek, Bulma would want to make up for lost time with her sister, and Kami would want to learn more about his origins and train with Nail. In their time on Namek, the three would make friends with some of the locals (including Dende and his brother, Cargo). In sharing what he knows of his origins with the Grand Elder, Guru (that he was born from a Nameless Namekian splitting in two), Kami learns of Namekian Fusion, which will be important later.
Back on Earth, Yamcha and Krillin would train further with Master Roshi until he felt it was time for them to travel the world and refine their own techniques. In their absence from Earth, the Red Ribbon Army would have established a strong military presence across the world as a means to their search for the Dragon Balls, putting them in constant conflict with the wandering monk and ex-bandit. Working together, they are almost able to defeat Mercenary Tao (whom they encounter in the Sacred Land of Korin after he kills a local villager for a Dragon Ball), but the villain uses their underdeveloped synergy against them and leaves them on the brink of death. The villager's son, Upa, helps the duo recover and tells them of the legend of Korin's tower. Once recovered, they climb the tower and encounter Korin, whose challenge to take the Sacred Water from him improves their strength, speed, and stamina (as well as their combat synergy) enough that they easily win their rematch with Tao, who "dies" like he did in the original. Thereafter, Yamcha and Krillin lay waste to the Red Ribbon Army, recover the Dragon Balls, and revive the Army's victims.
By this time, Kami and the two Earth girls have earned the respect of the Namekian people, and Guru, the planet's elder, has seen fit to unlock their potentials. The trio say their goodbyes and leave for Earth. On the way back, they come across Yardrat, where Tights gathers more writing material and they each focus on a different discipline of Yardratian training. Kami learns Instant Transmission and improves his Namekian gigantification, Tights learns illusion projection, and Bulma gains an understanding of ki through Forced Spirit Fission training.
While Kami is meditating one day, he senses something back on Earth: a disgruntled Pilaf has discovered the rice cooker holding "Demon King" Piccolo and frees him from it. With no one else to attack immediately, Piccolo grows bored and kills Pilaf before wishing for eternal youth and destroying Shenron. Piccolo then sets his sights on world domination, sending his four mutant offspring to target participants in the twenty-second Tenkaichi Budokai. This includes Yamcha, Krillin, and two new participants named Tien and Chiaotzu, whose master wanted revenge against Yamcha and Krillin for "killing" the Crane Hermit's brother, Mercenary Tao.
This would result in Yamcha, Krillin, Tien, and Chiaotzu having to prove themselves in Fortuneteller Baba's Underworld Tournament, and earn the right to train under King Kai. Yamcha would get the Spirit Bomb, Krillin and Chiaotzu would get Kaio Ken (more compatible with their smaller frames), and Tien would learn both.
Sensing Piccolo's release and increase in power, Kami uses Instant Transmission to return to Earth. Bulma and Tights stay behind to train more and keep out of danger.
Kami easily dispatches King Piccolo's children, but Piccolo himself is a different story because if he is killed, Kami will also die, as Piccolo is the other half of the Nameless Namekian. Also, Kami does not know the Mafuba/Evil Containment Wave in this scenario. So with Kami being stronger than Piccolo after having his potential unlocked and his Yardratian training, he is able to fuse with King Piccolo and remain the dominant personality in their body. Kami also goes about creating a new Dragon. But there's something different about it than the last Shenron. As Kami is stronger, this Dragon is also stronger. And what's more: the stone cracks away from the Dragon Balls, revealing that the stars on them have turned black. That's right; we're getting the Black Star Dragon Balls in this story!
The way Freiza gets involved in the story is similar to Masako's video, with Jaco finally coming to Earth to investigate the unprecedented amount of space travel and fluctuating energy signatures between Earth, Yardrat, and Namek. He meets Tights and Bulma on Yardrat, and convinces them to serve as his ambassadors on the other two planets, where he learns that the Galactic Patrol's circulating rumors of Dragon Balls are true.
Jaco, Bulma, and Tights return to Earth in Jaco's ship, and learn that Yamcha, Krillin, Tien, and Chiaotzu are dead, at which point they gather the Dragon Balls and wish back King Piccolo's victims. Because Freiza has spies everywhere, he would learn of the Dragon Balls as well, and send Nappa and Vegeta to Earth to scout (and possibly raze) the planet.
Little did they know how powerful Kami had become. Having the Namekian equivalent to the strength of a Super-Saiyan, or at best, an early Cell Saga "Kamiccolo" level of power, Kami can pretty much solo every villain in the series, up to and including Freiza.
Out of self-preservation, Nappa and Vegeta do the "we were only following orders because he killed our entire race and blew up our planet" schtick, and offer up Freiza's current location, to which Kami teleports, taking Freiza by surprise on his own home turf and vaporizing him with the Shinkankosappo (Piccolo, Jr.'s Special Beam Cannon, but with good guy branding).
Nappa and Vegeta attempt to betray Kami and attack Earth while he's gone, but the four revived human fighters hold them off with relative ease. Individually, they aren't anywhere near as strong as Goku would have been with the same abilities, but together, they defeat the two Saiyans. And without Goku to temper their impulses with his own desire to fight strong opponents, they eradicate the Saiyans with a combined energy blast.
Later, Bulma tries to locate the Dragon Balls to revive any collateral victims of the Saiyan invasion, and sees that the orbs aren't registering anywhere on Earth.
Time to go to space again! But first, the four human fighters propose the addition of a gravity chamber on the ship, after training under the increased gravity of King Kai's planet.
The party this time consists of Bulma, Tights, Yamcha, Krillin, Tien, Chiaotzu, and Jaco.
When Jaco and the guys aren't training, Yamcha and Bulma have some quality time together, as do Tights and Jaco (yep, I'm doing it!). In their search across the Universe for the Black Star Dragon Balls, the group have several run-ins with the remains of the Freiza Force, as well as some early GT villains like Ledgic, the Parapara Brothers, Tsunama, and the Church of Lud. But there is no Machine Mutant Empire backing them here, and no connection between the villains, because with the Saiyans all dead (at least, the ones everyone knows about), there is no Tsufurian revenge plot brewing in the background. And the Tsufurians are filler, anyway.
Speaking of revenge, though, as the group are battling through the ranks of the now-Cold Force and low-teir GT villains, Freiza's father, King Cold, lands on Earth with roughly a thousand soldiers, looking for Kami. The soldiers are nothing to Kami, but King Cold gives him a challenge. And when Cold is forced to go into his third form to get the upper hand, not even gigantification is enough to match him.
That's when a familiar voice from Kami's past halts their battle, and the two turn to see a young Namekian in a purple gi and white robes standing there, brandishing a cane that looks identical to his own. That voice...that aura...how did he get free?
And that's where I say
Animeister,
Out.
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