Just the Ticket

Article by Sean Wilkinson, a.k.a. The Ticketmaster Who Doesn't Know What You Did Last Summer. I did not like these movies, Ticketholders! I mean, I liked the first two when they came out almost thirty years ago, which is why the third one disappointed me so much that I only ever watched it once and didn't even want to watch it for this review (but I watched the Children Of the Corn franchise and most of The Curse movies, so it's nothing by comparison). The second time I watched the first two movies, I thought the core four were unsympathetic, the villain reveal came out of nowhere, the second movie was obvious and stupid, and Julie James was the worst final girl of all time. But has my opinion changed with time, book knowledge , and exposure to eight hours of Amazon-produced zoomer torture ? Let's find out, and then check out this year's legacy sequel to see if it's as bad as everyone says. Directed by Jim Gillespie ( Joyride —not to be confused with Joy Ri...

Article by Sean Wilkinson, a.k.a. The Ticketmaster Who Doesn't Know What You Did Last Summer. Hello, Ticketholders! I don't know what you did this summer, but I overworked myself and bitched about overworking myself such that I'm financially stable but so mentally and emotionally run down that I forgot my own mother's birthday. I'm also in a time crunch content-wise, so fuck me and fuck this series I'm about to review. Let's get this shit over with. From the company who thought the dad from Are We There Yet? (and the reason Vin Diesel had to make a XXX apology sequel) could hold a leading role in War Of the Worlds , and thought it was a good idea to make said movie one of the longest, worst, most blatant viral commercial wanks of all time, comes I Know What You Did Last Summer ; a boring, linguistically try-hard, aimless, eight-hour "adaptation" of a Lois Duncan book that I finished listening to in less than three hours. It's the same basi...

Article by Sean Wilkinson, a.k.a. The Pagemaster Who Doesn't Know What You Did Last Summer. I didn't know about the book I'm reviewing today until the 2025 legacy sequel came out and I started looking into the I Know What You Did Last Summer franchise for review content. And having re-watched the original movie adaptations a few years back and forced myself to endure them again now ( and read the novel via audiobook on my way to and from work this past week), I can't fathom why I liked them in the first place beyond their being Scream clones and my being a stupid teenager. But I told myself that when it came time to write this review, I would leave out as much comparison as possible and save my savage sentiments for the movies as I get to them later this month. I also had no knowledge of Lois Duncan as an author prior to the same research. The novel, I Know What You Did Last Summer , is a 1973 YA fiction thriller (the audiobook is a newer edition with more modern t...