Anime-WTF? #2: Attack Of the Clowns

Happy Ani-Monday, everyone!
Yes, I am basing my Anime-WTF? post titles on the Star Wars prequel trilogy. Why? Because they objectively suck. Just like the anime I'm about to review today. And like Blogger's inconsistent saving ability; but more on that after the two reviews that survived. Now, as for the title, said reviews are of anime series that were meant to be comedies, but were instead too predictable, annoying, painful to look at, or otherwise unwatchable. Let's go!

Daimidaler: Prince VS. Penguin Empire--A guy who looks like your average, overpowered anime protagonist is suddenly thrown into a conflict of some kind between aliens or supervillains or something and a secret organization of some kind that may or may not also be aliens, and finds out that he can become an overpowered anime protagonist by groping women’s breasts. Also, the villains’ henchmen are dressed in penguin unitards and have “front tails” (read: perpetual boners). If I sound vague, sorry, not sorry. This show was so bad that I didn’t even finish the first episode.

Excel Saga--This is so bad that I can’t even process a reason why I attempted to watch the second episode of it. The theme music is annoying, the art style is terrible, the main character is a selfish, brainless, annoyingly voiced henchwoman to a supervillain who kills her repeatedly for being selfish, brainless, and annoying. Many of the other characters in the episode and a half that I subjected myself to are annoyingly portrayed cultural stereotypes who fall victim to the main character’s annoying, brainless selfishness. Everything about Excel Saga is annoying, brainless, self-indulgent, and overtly hate-absorbing. I would rather scratch my own dirty asshole, surgically implant small chalkboards behind my eyes, and run my shit-encrusted fingernails across said chalkboards through my own eyeballs than watch any more of this obnoxiously grating garbage fire of a series.

Okay, time for an intermission. As of three weeks ago, I had a complete post (except for the usual series cover images) ready to schedule for publication. But something happened, and my intro, along with the following reviews that I had to attempt to re-type from memory because I also cut and pasted them from my compulsively saved offline materials, and therefore had no means of recovering them (fuck computers!)...dear God, that's a long sentence with a manic number of tangents. So anyway, everything in this post, except for the two reviews above, was lost. Did I mention, fuck computers!? And now, back to the post.

Space Dandy--His name is Dandy. And he's a dandy. In space. Who sucks. Not even the voice of Ian Sinclair (Whis in Dragon Ball Super) was enough incentive to make me watch more than one episode of this frantic, psychedelic space comedy. The heroes die in the first episode, there is no discernible plot, and the series seems bitingly sarcastic about its own existence. I deleted Space Dandy from my phone and watchlist soon after the second episode preview, and promptly threw up into a paper bag.

My Bride Is A Mermaid--Todd Haberkorn (voice of Edward Elric in Fullmetal Alchemist, Death the Kid in Soul Eater, Tsukune Aono in Rosario+Vampire, etc.) voices a boy who treats his parents like shit (and his parents don't think much of him, either). Then he almost drowns and gets rescued by a mermaid whose father is a Yakuza boss who will kill him unless he agrees to marry her. Or if anyone else on the surface finds out she's a mermaid. Two episodes in, and it's clear that the "humor" will continue to be the same over-the-top breed of predictable and most of the characters will continue to be unlikable and/or annoying for the next twenty episodes! Having already subjected myself to Rosario+Vampire's entire shallow, predictable run, I decided that I had slogged through enough such romantic nonsense and quit while I still had a brain between my ears.