Ticket Stubs #29: The Grudge Always Rings Twice

J-Ho, or Japanese Horror, continues to be a source of inspiration to horror film directors. But since The Ring (Japanese title: Ringu), Hollywood has adapted and concocted a slew of of copycats and sequels (The Grudge, A.K.A. Ju-On, Shutter, One Missed Call, Dark Water, etc.) and used the genre's more annoying signature elements to tweak non-J-Ho films like Day Of the Dead, The Woman In Black, and Apartment 143. No more evident is the predictable structure of the J-Ho film than when comparing the first two American ventures into the genre, The Ring and The Grudge.

FROM April 5, 2005 (SW@ the Hell? #2: Spidey 3, WWE SW@, & SW@ Ticket Shorts): The Grudge was basically an OK movie, but a little too much like The Ring. Don't get me wrong; The Ring was an amazing movie, but some originality needs to be in order. You have the blonde do-gooder (Sarah Michelle Gellar instead of Naomi Watts), the dark-haired amorphic zombie-ghost out for revenge, the string of victims horribly mutilated, and the quest to figure out why the ghost is killing people, interrupted by the sudden death of one of the heroes and the end of the movie. The scares were good but expected and sometimes a little ridiculous, the story was average, and the ending was one of the worst horror movie endings that I've seen (They and Freddy vs Jason, I'm talking to you).
C-

As promised, stay tuned for the fairy tale crossover event coming your way next issue. Until then, here's a brand new Piece Offering for you, courtesy of Safeway's October 2012 edition of the Entertainment At Home movie rental guide:

"Cinderella: Limited Edition
Narrated by Tim Allen
Disneynature brings to the screen a remarkable story of individual triumph and family bonds. The African rainforest is a playground for the little chimp Oscar as he and his family navigate the complex territory of the forest."

Apparently, Oscar hates that his family makes him de-lice their backs and sweep the trees every day, so when they go off to have fun, he prays to his Fairy Godmonkey to give him a new banana leaf to wear to the canopy. But when the clock strikes midnight and his banana leaf is about to disappear, he slips on a rogue banana peel and falls into a ravine where he is rescued the next day by space explorer Buzz Lightyear. The two are briefly held captive by Oscar's family, but Oscar and Buzz escape, only to discover that when they return to Star Command, everyone on the crew has been replaced by chimpanzees. Be on the lookout for Disneynature Presents: Chimperella 2: Rise Of the Planet Of the Space Chimps 3D featuring the voices of Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Zachary Ty Bryan, Taran Noah Smith, and Andy Serkis as Oscar.

To this massive typo that put the wrong title on the synopsis of Chimpanzee and the ridiculous sequel concept I have concocted, I shout "NOOO!" before flinging my feces at the computer screen and clumsily segueing into the following Critical Quickies:

The Five-Year Engagement--Jason Segel, Emily Blunt. It would seem from the jump that the Universe itself is screaming for the proper English girl and the imposing, foul-mouthed goon to please for the love of God give up already. But as Apatow seems to always do, he screws with the formula of whatever genre he's decided to dabble in (this time, it's the rom-com) and manages to make it at once perfectly predictable and uncomfortably realistic (and let's not forget funny) whether it succeeds in the end or not. If you can appreciate the creativity of a slapdash, choose-your-own-adventure wedding, consider Engagement to be a success.
A-

The Magic Of Belle Isle--Morgan Freeman, Virginia Madsen, Keenan Thompson. Being shipped off to a strange town so your son can perfect his impressions of Cee-Lo Green, Al Sharpton, and Charles Barkley while working at the local Good Burger can't be the worst thing in the world, especially if you're a widowed writer-turned-boozehound and your neighbor is Virginia Madsen. Freeman is so comfortable as the curmudgeonly author that he's almost playing himself, but it's his relationships with new dog Ringo/Spot and Madsen's middle daughter that move things forward. Will we see Emma Fuhrmann (who brings loads of emotion and personality to Finnegan, the daughter in question) in a more central role in the near future? I hope so.
A

Peace, Love, and Misunderstanding--Jane Fonda, Catherine Keener, Elisabeth Olsen (again?), Jeffrey Dean Morgan. Speaking of films that are too much alike, you might recognize the bones of this movie if you've seen Belle Isle. Fonda is basically playing her younger activist self as Keener's uber-hippie mother and Olsen's granny, who receives them with open arms at her Woodstock home when Keener gets divorced. Generations and ideals clash, Keener falls for a local musician (Morgan), and everyone decides to stick together despite their differences. Woodstock made an interesting and culturally significant backdrop to what was otherwise an unoriginal and overly perfect rom-com effort.
B