Bring Back the Soundtrack #2: The Mash-up Issue
Give a big "Welcome back, Blogger!" to the column formerly known as the SW@ Soundtrack, a column I started back on June 26, 2005 with an issue called The Grading Curve. Therein, I did not review anything, but instead laid down a grading
system based on the names of popular record store chains (a sales medium that has come into great jeopardy in recent years). I eventually abandoned said grading curve to experiment with other systems, as any good artist will do when he's new in the game and tired of spitting the SOSO that he brought to movie criticism for one year straight. This issue will be a big one, since I plan to copy-and-paste all back issues of the Soundtrack back-to-back herein. And while it didn't have great longevity at my hand, I still think the curve was a clever device worth giving its due, so what better place to start than June 26, 2005 (SW@ Soundtrack #1: The Grading Curve)?
When I have no movies to take apart, I plan to look at the world of music. No reviews today, just a look at the grading system:
First, there is Frances the Mute, an ironically titled album from the Mars Volta. Never heard of 'em? Just think of Shakira, Carlos Santana, and System of a Down thrown in a blender. So, confusion cured? OK.
After hearing bad things about Get Behind Me Satan (that Meg White still plays drums like a five-year old, for instance), I turned my wallet towards their previous release, Elephant. Despite the allusion made by the album's title, Elephant is not a white elephant. It boasts hard tracks like "Seven Nation Army," "The Hardest Button to Button," and the egotistical "Ball & Biscuit." On the softer side, channeling the Beatles a little bit, Jack White croons over poppy numbers like "I Don't Know What to Do With Myself" and "Put Her in Your Pocket." This Elephant offers plenty of toughness, versatility, and surprises to appeal to just about anyone (as well as a reduced risk of stampedes and fly-ridden dung). Definite Mojo Sound.
OK. I've procrastinated on this long enough, and it's pissing me off! I fell for the Slim Shady MO once again, but this time I actually bought the album. True, it does sport some of the mainstream-appeal found in previous singles like "My Name Is," "Guilty Conscience," "The Real Slim Shady," etc. But halfway through, darkness prevails. Back to the usual "I hate you, I love you, fuck you bitch, I wanna kill you" material. His team-up with D-12 makes light of gang war, laughing over pools of blood, celebrating gunfire with rape, blood and more gunfire, then laughing and killing some more. "Encore," the titular closing track is about as poppy as Eminem can be after what he pulled for the last forty minutes of the album, and features Dr. Dre and 50cent, but it also ends with Em killing the audience and then committing suicide. And if you are unfortunate enough to open the cover pamphlet, you'll see that the end of "Encore" has accompanying visuals which again attempt to make murder fun. Oh yeah, and the "Bonus" material that you uncover after destroying the jewel case in anger and disgust only serves to expand the Shady wasteland. Burn the traitor at Music Trader.
Now enter what I have lovingly dubbed The Monkeybitch Trilogy, a series of related posts that begins with a tribute to the Gorillaz and continues through two additional issues of critical bitching and moaning. Let's make like the Black Eyed Peas and get this monkey business started like I did back on January 3, 2006 (SW@ Soundtrack #3: Monkey Bizness & Gorilla Warfare)! Shortly before then, I had been writing what was to be a review of Soundgarden's A-Sides album, along with reviews of the two albums found below. As I was writing them, I found myself in a funk, doing little more than spoiling every second of every album with an excessive amount of description, rather than giving my opinion, which is what a review is supposed to do (unfortunately, I had been using the uber-spoiler format in the majority of my SW@ Ticket posts as well). So in order to break away from this bad habit, I decided to return to the letter-grade system and adopt a format similar to Entertainment Weekly's "Download This:" or MTV2's Playlist-ism. I am glad to say that it worked like a charm, as you will see below.
Mojo ratings will be based on how many tracks are great and how many are garbage. + (Plus) is 1 point, / (Slash) is half a point, and - (Minus) gets nothing. So on to Soundtrack #3…
The Band: The Gorillaz (Murdoc, Russell, 2D, Noodle, voice of Blur's Damon Albarn)
The Draw: Four British cartoon characters who channel George A. Romero, Bugs Bunny, Dennis Hopper, The White Stripes, Clint Eastwood films, Gospel music, hip-hop, etc… to an un-gimmicky degree of success.
The Albums: Gorillaz, Demon Days
Gorillaz:
+ "ReHash": Poppy tune, Indecipherable lyrics, a 1-hit wonder song
+ "5/4": Addictive, alternates hard/soft, makes you march
/ "Tomorrow Comes Today" & "New Genious (Brother)": Downer songs with good lyrics
+ "Clint Eastwood" (feat. Del the Funky Homosapien): Kick-ass rap with a memorable hook, what the hell does this have to do with Clint Eastwood?
- "Man Research": "Yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyala lala lala" with sounds of Elmer Fudd having an orgasm, need I say more?
+ "Punk": The blokes try their hand at grunge rock, and Blur-inspired deja vu means success
/ "Sound Check (Gravity)": Great bass and chorus, but the "Gravity-y-y-y-y" gets annoying
/ "Double Bass": A sped-up ReHash minus lyrics, not worth remembering
+ "Rock the House": Del returns with a dis on bad dancers & posers that both can dance to
+ "19-2000": The cell-phone jingle slowed down
+ "Latin Simone (?Que Pasa Contigo?)": Spanish pseudo-opera over a sick Italian-style bass
- "Starshine": It turns out Damon Albarn has a unique voice; not for singing, though
- "Slow Country": Not memorable, no lyrics
+ "M1 A1": 90's Day Of the Dead sample builds to kick-ass rock song (I miss you, Blur)
+ "Left Hand Suzuki Method": Japanese woman talking, pyro-worthy intro, cool instrumental
+ "Dracula": Memorable because of the Bugs Bunny sample
+ Hidden Track: "Clint Eastwood" Remix: Indecipherable Reggaeton with sped-up "Eastwood" hook
+ Album Art: the Gorillaz driving a camouflaged "Geep" (funny avoidance of copyright infringement)
Overall Rating: C
Demon Days:
+ "Intro": Haunting, fugue-like melody with scratched helium voice and Romero sample. Totally freaky.
/ "Last Living Souls": Slightly more than a twice-looped sound byte, given variety by background violin
+ "Kids With Guns": Another looping track, but a cool hip-hop beat and feelgood lyrics
+ "O Green World": Funky, distorted jungle-romp beat with good lyrics
+ "Dirty Harry": Fun dance tune that (once again) has absolutely nothing to do with Mr. Eastwood. Good mix of choir hook and rap solo (Booty Brown, whoever that is)
+ "Feel Good Inc.": De La Soul laughing and rapping through a hit single and trippy video
/ "El Mañana": Nearly unintelligible track with a Latin feel
+ "Every Planet We Reach Is Dead": Alternating funky chorus-melody and depressing lyrics, reflective of the song's title
+ "November Has Come": Slow with a hip-hop beat and flowing rap (MF Doom)
+ "All Alone": Artistic; multiple voices sing the song's title to ironic effect
/ "White Light": Quiet screaming? Is that possible? Another dance loop
+ "DARE": Poppy pseudo-cover of the White Stripes' "Blue Orchid", trippy video
/ "Fire Coming Out Of A Monkey's Head," "Dont Get Lost In Heaven," and "Demon Days": Dennis Hopper tells a "subtle" anti-war story, and ten minutes of gospel music follow; a good end to an average album
+ Album Art: Good as before; fitting and sometimes ironic illustrations of each song title, almost an art gallery.
Overall Rating: B-
Also check out: the Gorillaz/Space Monkeys remix album and the G-Sides disc with alternate versions of "Clint Eastwood" and "19-2000"(both available at the Wherehouse in limited supply). The Wherehouse was closed a month later, and my local Music Trader soon followed suit.
Note on the following post: "Ghettoville" is the endearing nickname that my best friend at the time had coined for our high school.
January 10, 2006 (SW@ Soundtrack #3.5: Primal Scream/The Bitch Is Back) marks the first (and so far, the only) decimal issue of the Soundtrack, and enters the bitching portion of our Monkeybitch Trilogy with a follow-up to the previous Gorillaz-themed post.
I decided to check out the Gorillaz vs Spacemonkeyz remix album, titled Laika Come Home, before my three adoring fans rushed to the Wherehouse to fight over the last remaining copy. But unfortunately, Laika wasn't worth the $17.99 plus Ghettoville Tax I payed for it. What was billed as "a remixed, dub-filled reworking of the Gorillaz" was more like a chopped up, soul-sucked Astro-reggae commandeering of the Gorillaz album that defies any sort of grading system, so I'll revert to the old days of bitching about it and failing it with flying monkeyshit colorz.
The opening tracks; "19/2000," "Slow Country," "Tomorrow Comes Today," and "Man Research" (renamed, respectively rather than with respect; "Jungle Fresh," "Strictly Rubbadub," "Banana Baby," and "Monkey Racket") are decent, fairly true remixes, slowed down, extended, and occaisionally improved (as in the formerly annoying "Man Research"). "Starshine," aka "Dub 09," perhaps the most annoying song on the original album, is the VS album's most creative (or at least, interesting) track by leaps and bounds. But singles and potential hits like "Punk," "5/4," "Sound Check (Gravity)," "ReHash," "Clint Eastwood," and "M1A1" are, as I said before, sucked of any remaining soul or semblance of self by lackluster reggae beats, slow baselines, removal of the Gorillaz' hip-hop element and brilliant samples, and most of all, by that overly abused gimmick, the space echo. For one thing, sound does not echo in space because there is no fucking air! For another, the bonus remix of "Slow Country" sucks. Laika Come Home is De-Punked, de-hip-hopped, de-genre'd, generally boring (complete with equally boring, cliche' album art), and disappointingly Dubversive (the name of one of the Monkeyz). Ergo, me no Laika.
Rating: F
And with that, we leave the bitching for SW@ Soundtrack's answer to Critical Quickies, as begun on March 6, 2006 (SW@ Soundtrack #5: The List) because I hadn't bought any new music for awhile, and decided to use what little fame and what huge Blog Cojones I had to influence the kind of music my three-person readership listened to. The List is a quite obviously and appropriately named list of my favorite albums. True music buffs and listeners of generations past might disagree with my choices, but of the CDs, and yes, cassette tapes that I own, these are at the top of the list. Criteria for being on the list is that I can listen to every song on the album with pleasure (with an allowance of one bad track) and I have listened to the album ten times or more (often consecutively) without getting bored. First, the albums that have remained on The List since its GOM inception:
Smash Mouth: Astro Lounge (Fush Yu Mang was a waste of money, and anything after Astro Lounge just illustrates the band's degeneration to cover status.)
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Californication (Just about anything the RHCP do is instant gold, and this was their last, best, and final album of the 90's).
Barenaked Ladies: Stunt
Barenaked Ladies: Maroon (For both BNL albums: The lyrics will freak you out, even if the music puts you to sleep.)
Sugar Ray: 14:59 (Sometimes hard, sometimes poppy, always a show of talent, and the Intro/Flip Over/Outro tracks are cool.)
Santana: Supernatural & Shaman (Lots of high-energy songs and big name performers here--Lauryn Hill, Rob Thomas, POD, Eric Clapton, Luciano Pavarotti, Seal, Chad Kroeger, etc, etc, etc,… Don't waste your money on All That I Am; the names are still big, but it feels like a tired sequel compared to my picks.)
White Stripes: White Blood Cells (Hard rock, Beatles sound, and only two performers behind it. Awesome.)
AudioSlave (Although I listen to all three albums repeatedly, the follow-ups can't compare to the group's debut album. Killer lyrics, vocal power, and that familiar Rage Against the Machine guitar sound make for one as-yet unbeaten track set.)
Ozzy Osbourne: Under Cover (Sparked my interest in songs I never wanted to hear until they got Ozzified. Especially listen for "21st Century Schizoid Man," "Fire," "Sympathy for the Devil." I am the God Of Hellfire, and I bring you...ROCK!!)
Limp Bizkit: New Old Songs (Three different versions of "My Way," SW@ the Hell? But anyway, the remixes kick ass. Check out my melody.)
Beastie Boys: License to Ill (Just about every vintage BB track you hear on the radio is on this album.)
Uncle Kracker: Double Wide & No Stranger to Shame (Double Wide is pretty much a collection of stuff that has been on movie soundtracks--"Yeah Yeah Yeah" from Shanghai Noon, "What U Lookin At?" from Mission Impossible 2 and the X-Factor entrance theme, "Who's Your Uncle" from 3000 Miles to Graceland, etc.--and No Stranger to Shame is Kracker's transition from rap-rock to country, featuring a cover of Dobie Gray's "Drift Away," a few good, clean rap songs, and a raw, trash-talking "After School Special" that is not to be missed.)
Kid Rock: Devil Without A Cause & Cocky (Devil features the singles that got the KID on the radar--"Bawitdaba," "Cowboy," "Only God Knows Why," "I Am the Bullgod"--and Cocky lives up to its title with plenty of self-hype and egoism. As for the three Kid Rock albums I didn't mention--The History of Rock, excluding "American Badass," is a juvenile waste of disk space, his self-titled fourth mainstream album is a sign that we may never hear another rap from him, as it is mostly country, and the post-Pam record, Rock & Roll Jesus, is a half-assed assurance that I'm wrong, but it's still mostly country. I want the old Kid back!)
Modest Mouse: Good News for People Who Love Bad News (The title got me hooked, and the music kept me listening, even when I couldn't understand the words. Float on, OK?)
Mars Volta: Frances the Mute (You already know that I think this album rocks. Look for my review of The Bedlam in Goliath in SW@ Soundtrack 8: Happy Birthday to Me?)
Social Distortion: Sex, Love, and Rock & Roll (Mike Ness's Taylor-Hicks-on-a-carton-of-cigarettes-a-day voice, coupled with feel-good classic rock and motivational lyrics, is the formula for a kick-ass album. Also grab Social D's Greatest Hits album for these classics: "Ball & Chain," "Ring of Fire," and "Story of My Life").
Rob Thomas: Something to Be (While at times a bit downlifting--is there any pop star that doesn't have emotional songs these days?--Rob Thomas' solo debut is a breakaway from what fans and critics call "the soft Matchbox Twenty--or is it Matchbox20?--sound." Thomas by himself manages an edginess that his whitespace-free, alphanumeric band could not. Solo but "Lonely No More", kicking ass to show us "How a Heart Breaks," and trying to "find a downtown whore that will make me look hardcore" so he'll have "Something to Be," Thomas is coolness to the bone).
FROM January 22, 2012 (SW@ Soundtrack #6: The List 2 - The New Batch) Gremlins creators beware! I have just used a title similar to that of your pathetic franchise's first sequel! I demand one hundred beeelion dollurz (pinky finger to lips, cue dramatic music, and we're off). Anyway, back on May 8, 2006 (SW@ Soundtrack #6: Wreckless Mistakes/The Third Bitch-mandment), I was a naive WWE fan, still providing financial support to rich, steroid-dependent fakes by purchasing their entrance music (some of which remains awesome to this day). I was also sticking it to the man and putting my mild case of OCD to good use by downloading free advanced releases of said entrance music to include on my steadily growing six-disc mixtape of WWE entrance themes. I had found some themes that I thought were a terrible waste of CD time, and used the second half of the original The List 2 issue to express myself on the matter, via The Third Bitch-mandment.
For the MySpace (and Blogger) edition of SW@ Soundtrack #6, however, I will use the entire issue for new additions to The List, hence The New Batch. Once again, enjoy.
Velvet Revolver: Libertad (Contraband had some nice hard tracks on it, but as a whole it seemed a little too hard for me; a little too STP. Libertad goes in more of a generic Guns 'n' Roses direction, and winds up having more feel and more appeal than their first disc).
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Stadium Arcadium/Jupiter (As I said last time, just about everything the Red Hots do is instant gold, and the first disc of their only Billboard 1 album to date is just about perfect).
Mick Jagger: Goddess In the Doorway (It's Mick Jagger, doing what he does best, with a little help from Lenny Kravitz and Rob Thomas. Need I say more?)
The Chemical Brothers: Push the Button (This DJ crew's latest album has more going for it than sporting that catchy little Q-tip single called "Galvanize." It seemed a little too short to me, but it Pushed my Buttons. Job well done).
Everlast: Whitey Ford Sings the Blues (For some reason, I'm a sucker for white rappers–excluding a certain crazy, candy-monikered hypocrite from Detroit–and former House of Pain member Everlast is one of my favorites. He doesn't resort to gangsta rap or rapping about abusing women and drugs unless it is with the purpose of putting these vices into perspective. His Whitey Ford album is soulful, eclectic, and mostly uplifting as far as rap goes).
MTV Mashups Presents Jay-Z vs Linkin Park: Collision Course (Proof once again that I'm a sucker for white rappers and DJ albums, Collision Course is a remix masterpiece through and through. Too short and missing a few key ingredients–like a "Crawling/Hard Knock Life" remix–but I like all that I hear).
Rockstar Supernova (No longer available for sale anywhere, the one and only album released by Tommy Lee, Gilby Clark, Jason Newsted, and Rockstar-winning frontman Lucas Rossi is still not to be missed. Elements of Crue, Guns, and Metallica, combined with Rossi's unique vocals, are enough to make your "Headspin" and turn what would otherwise be a "Dead Parade" into a hit parade. Pick up the pieces).
The Raconteurs: Consolers of the Lonely (Look for a review of this album in Soundtrack 8: Happy Birthday to Me? It's my latest purchase, and I'll tell you how great it is in a few issues).
The White Stripes: Icky Thump (This album shouldn't really be on The List because it fails the "only one worthless song" criteria. But I'm going to include it anyway because it's unique. Like an icky thump, the album is a mix of sounds you've never heard from the Stripes before: Irish ballads, bagpipes, accordions, Meg having actually improved her drumming, and still with only two people in the band. Crazy, man, crazy).
I may give tribute later on to the albums that almost made The List or give it some kind of ordering, but for now it's late and I haven't had any energy drinks or anything to keep me awake for very long tonight, so I'll just stop here. In hopes that I have made you buy these albums or at least look up the artists, let me say stay tuned!
I elected to spare you my prejudicial, wrestling catchphrase-infused rantings of the original Soundtrack #6, but to provide historical context for my WWE-watching readers that extends beyond a mere date (assuming you have read this far in this oversized holy grail of critical mashuppery), I have also made the executive decision to include the issue that followed The Third Bitch-mandment as SW@ (a.k.a. The Ticketmaster, a.k.a. me) intended.
FROM July 14, 2008 (SW@ Soundtrack #7: Packed Stadium, Wreckless Superstars, and 5-Cent Charity): SW@ back in the studio again with some music reviews, and quite possibly some positive words about a few of the albums on the block.
First up is the Red Hot Chili Peppers' first #1 album ever: Stadium Arcadium. Stadium weighs in at 2 discs and 28 tracks, so I had not yet listened to the full album at the time of this post's original writing. I have since listened to both discs and found the second to be unmemorable for the most part. Therefore, I'll only deal with the first disc (Jupiter?), which is frickin awesome by itself. The only track on Jupiter I wouldn't bother with is "Torture Me" because that's lyrically and auditorially what it's like: torture. The rest of the disc is pure artistry, whether the classic Chili Pepper rhymes and "Sweet Home Alabama" feel of "Dani California" (a bit recycled, but a good story song), the contrasting lyric/instrumental speed of "Snow (Hey O)", the powerful guitar solos in "Charlie" and "She's Only 18," or the oxymoronic humor of "Slow Cheetah." Did I mention Stadium Arcadium is a steal at $17.99 (regular price $24.99) for two discs at the Wherehouse?
Note to all y'all ain't know: The Wherehouse on Fletcher Parkway is closed. :(
And now, a revised review of WWE: Wreckless Intent. Batista's theme is much more than a repeated loop, Randy Orton's Mercy Drive theme is still intact, Coach's theme is indeed "Hard Hittin'" (kind of a Nelly/Chingy sound to it), it's nice to hear Big Show's theme as a full-version song (although Brand New Sin's version lacks some of the power of the Jim Johnston original), Carlito's reggaeton theme is cool--for lack of a less punny word--but not as personal as his Theme Addict song, and I don't know what Silkk the Shocker's contribution has to do with WWE but it still kicks ass, as does Mark Henry's theme. Candice's entrance is a complete waste, Torrie and Maria's themes are too generic (they sound too much like Christy Hemme's), you already know I think Theory of a Deadman's "Deadly Game" cover lacks the soul and hip-hop of the AZ/Jim Johnston original, and RVD's new entrance and Killswitch Engage's "This Fire Burns" are uninteresting screamfests (the RVD theme from Forceable Entry is cooler by a Five-Star Frog Splash). The only revisions I'll make regarding Wreckless Intent refer to "Booyakah 619" and "King of Kings." Apparently the version of Rey Mysterio's theme I previewed was the pre-WI version, not done by POD; so I'd like to say that the POD cover is much better than what I heard before (but I still prefer the old 619 because his first entrance was more energetic and interesting). I stand firm that Triple H's new theme makes him sound like a silver-spooned pansy, but a second listen brought back memories of DGenerationX, so I decided it wasn't that bad.
Speaking of DGenerationX, making Triple H a face and teaming him up with Shawn Michaels was a brilliant business move on Vince McMahon's part. Character-wise, I still want to see Vinnie get his ass kicked in the ring, but you can't argue with financial genius. Also, John Cena vs RVD at "One-Night Stand" (Money in the Bank cashed in) was brilliant scripting. Welcome back, ECW! Hope your franchise flounders (again), but I enjoy the change of pace and will tune in to the SciFi channel to see just how B movie cheap the venue is.
Anyway, here's a look at Nickelback: All the Right Reasons. To cut it short, see the Playlist-ism below.
1- "Follow You Home": raunchy, gritty, and somehow romantic (classic Nickelback; for a similar vibe, see the Silver Side Up album)
3- "Photograph": Over-played single #1, but still good
4- "Animals": Fast, driving, sexy chase-scene music for eloping grunge-metalists
5- "Savin' Me": Over-played single #2, well-written and not yet over-over-played
6- "Far Away": Potential OPS #3, soon to be in every formulaic romantic comedy in America
7- "Next Contestant": A sort of funny "don't touch my girl or I'll fuck you up" song (Lesbians beware as well)
9- "If Everyone Cared": A cheesy but well-written utopia anthem
10-"Someone That You're With": Somewhere between OPS #4 and Silver Side Up
11-"Rockstar": Kid Rock wannabe anthem, written with the lyrical prowess I've come to expect from Chad Kroeger
WHAT I LEFT OUT:
2- "Fight for All the Wrong Reasons": The epitome of title tracks that suck. It's too fast and borderline emotionless, and the title doesn't even match
8- "Side of a Bullet": Read the lyrics, and you get a highly moving poem about the last days of John Wilkes Booth; hear the song (assuming you still want to call it a song when you finish listening to it), and you get an emphysema-fueled yellapalooza with an ugly instrumental that reduces Kroeger's songwriting to a robotic mess
Speaking of B movies, I'd say this is a B album for All the Right Reasons.
FROM July 14, 2008 (SW@ Soundtrack #8: Happy Birthday to Me?): Happy Bastille Day, faithful readers!
Welcome to the first fresh SW@ Soundtrack you've seen on MySpace. No preexisting drafts anywhere else. What you see is what you get, and what you get today is a belated critical tribute to the three albums I bought on my birthday: FloBots - Fight With Tools, The Mars Volta - The Bedlam in Goliath, and The Raconteurs - Consolers of the Lonely.
First, the worst: The FloBots' album, titled Fight With Tools, is over-represented by the group's chillingly awesome, lyrically strange single, "Handlebars." From the introductory cartoon-tiptoe baseline, through references to everything from cherry stems and remote controls to platypi (Platypusses? Platypus? Platypese? I don't know) to electric cars and a nuclear holocaust, "Handlebars" makes you believe you're safe on a quad with training wheels until that fateful moment when you realize you've crashed a rickety unicycle and been slammed face-first into a sidewalk full of Whoa! Unfortunately, the rest of Fight With Tools is a below-average lyrical lecture full of anti-war, Rainbow Coalition, "smile on your brother" schlock. The title, Fight With Tools, in and of itself, may be a message encouraging us to wage war (or not) intelligently, rather than constantly throwing our own feces at each other like a bunch of territorial monkeys. But the depth of the message stops there. I believe that you, too, can ride your bike with no handlebars (no handlebars, no handlebars). But don't waste your money Fighting With Tools.
Rating: D+
The Bedlam In Goliath is classic Volta: freaky soundscapes, unusually good musicianship, and vocal talent so Coheed & Cambria good that an a capella cut of the album would play like 2001: A Space Opera. Speaking of classical music, Bedlam brings back the Symphony-of-Strange feel that made Frances the Mute so friggin' good. Once again, expect to find songs that are almost ten minutes long. Expect a weird-yet-intriguing album cover. Expect the unexpected, and indulge con mucho gusto. Bedlam may not have a hit single like Mute's "Widow (Never Sleep Alone)" or completely measure up to that previous effort; but trust me on this: The Bedlam in Goliath promises exotic aural gratification at its best.
Rating: B+
(Cool idea: The Mars Volta and Blue Man Group, Live In Concert)
They say (whoever "they" are) that familiarity breeds contempt. But in the case of The Raconteurs' Consolers Of the Lonely, "they" would be wrong because the familiarity in question here is the group's (and the listener's) familiarity with the work of various music legends. On the opening title track, the 'teurs take a cue from the likes of Metallica, Aerosmith ("Walk This Way"), and the Chili Peppers ("Suck My Kiss"). Noisier tracks like the single "Salute Your Solution" and "Hold Up" are reminders that Jack White is the true musical genius behind the Stripes. Slower, Beatles-inspired tunes like "You Don't Understand Me" accomplish the same. "Old Enough" puts "Sweet Home Alabama" somewhere between an Irish jig and a country-western hoedown. "Top Yourself" echoes the Meat Puppets and Nirvana, etc, etc. But what really grabbed me about Consolers besides the familiarity and the overall energy of the album was the handful of songwriting gems put forth by Jack White III and Brendan Benson, who have proven that calling themselves Raconteurs doesn't just mean they're in the band (see "The Switch and the Spur" for an example of their prowess). Consolers Of the Lonely is full of memorable songs, but if I say any more, I risk ruining the experience for you. Meanwhile,
If the Lyric Fits…:
"Any poor souls
who trespass against us
whether it be beast or man
will suffer the bite
or be stung dead on site
by those who inhabit this land.
For theirs is the power
and this is their kingdom
as sure as the sun does burn.
So enter this path
but heed these four words…
…'You shall never return.'"
- The Raconteurs, "The Switch and the Spur"
Rating: A-
Well, I haven't gone to see Iron Man yet, but to answer the title question of this issue, I say "Happy Birthday to me!"
FROM August 17, 2008 (SW@ Soundtrack #9: Power Serj, Viva Pinata, and the Crash of '08): Here I am, back after another brief absence; this time, due to what I think is my very first hard-drive crash. In the past, I have accidentally made a computer destroy itself with what it thought were command script files (but were just ordinary text files with a .com extension), and somehow deleted the mouse drivers on another computer and had to do a complete system restore on it, but one can never truly call him/herself a computer user until they have had at least one hard-drive crash.
When I have no movies to take apart, I plan to look at the world of music. No reviews today, just a look at the grading system:
- If an album is mostly or completely listenable many consecutive times, I will say it has Mojo Sound. (Buy these, or if you already have them, carry them with you in a CD wallet or IPod for easy access).
- If an album is mostly listenable, is not to be taken in multiple continuous doses, or is addictive but not of great quality, I will suggest that you store it in your Wherehouse.
- Finally, if I feel I payed $20 for a hit single, every song on the album sounds the same and/or like sh--, and I want to burn it (the hit single(s) with a computer, the rest with a Bic) after the first listen, I will suggest that you sell it to Music Trader. There's a good chance I will do the same.
First, there is Frances the Mute, an ironically titled album from the Mars Volta. Never heard of 'em? Just think of Shakira, Carlos Santana, and System of a Down thrown in a blender. So, confusion cured? OK.
The SoaD elements
come in for the first track: an 11 minute, four movement synth slamfest/metal opera with alternately screaming and haunting vocals sure to
leave you wondering what the hell you're listening to and hoping for a
little more of it. Following this masterpiece is "The Widow (Never Sleep
Alone)"--the only track to get any airplay, and probably the best way to
get the public turned on to the album. The haunting quality returns in
force here, compounded by the song's theme of a lost love. The album's
next track (also single-worthy, I think) is a seamless 12 minute Opera de la Roca (latin rock opera) featuring synthesized brass and piano, and guitar skills that rival Carlos Santana.
Making the album itself an opera of sorts, the band wraps things up with eight transition-free tracks that play variation on Frances the Mute's
opening epic. An artistry overload if you're just listening for
pleasure (to this crowd, send the Mute to Music Trader after ripping
Tracks 2 & 3). But I think somebody besides me will say it has Mojo Sound.After hearing bad things about Get Behind Me Satan (that Meg White still plays drums like a five-year old, for instance), I turned my wallet towards their previous release, Elephant. Despite the allusion made by the album's title, Elephant is not a white elephant. It boasts hard tracks like "Seven Nation Army," "The Hardest Button to Button," and the egotistical "Ball & Biscuit." On the softer side, channeling the Beatles a little bit, Jack White croons over poppy numbers like "I Don't Know What to Do With Myself" and "Put Her in Your Pocket." This Elephant offers plenty of toughness, versatility, and surprises to appeal to just about anyone (as well as a reduced risk of stampedes and fly-ridden dung). Definite Mojo Sound.
OK. I've procrastinated on this long enough, and it's pissing me off! I fell for the Slim Shady MO once again, but this time I actually bought the album. True, it does sport some of the mainstream-appeal found in previous singles like "My Name Is," "Guilty Conscience," "The Real Slim Shady," etc. But halfway through, darkness prevails. Back to the usual "I hate you, I love you, fuck you bitch, I wanna kill you" material. His team-up with D-12 makes light of gang war, laughing over pools of blood, celebrating gunfire with rape, blood and more gunfire, then laughing and killing some more. "Encore," the titular closing track is about as poppy as Eminem can be after what he pulled for the last forty minutes of the album, and features Dr. Dre and 50cent, but it also ends with Em killing the audience and then committing suicide. And if you are unfortunate enough to open the cover pamphlet, you'll see that the end of "Encore" has accompanying visuals which again attempt to make murder fun. Oh yeah, and the "Bonus" material that you uncover after destroying the jewel case in anger and disgust only serves to expand the Shady wasteland. Burn the traitor at Music Trader.
Now enter what I have lovingly dubbed The Monkeybitch Trilogy, a series of related posts that begins with a tribute to the Gorillaz and continues through two additional issues of critical bitching and moaning. Let's make like the Black Eyed Peas and get this monkey business started like I did back on January 3, 2006 (SW@ Soundtrack #3: Monkey Bizness & Gorilla Warfare)! Shortly before then, I had been writing what was to be a review of Soundgarden's A-Sides album, along with reviews of the two albums found below. As I was writing them, I found myself in a funk, doing little more than spoiling every second of every album with an excessive amount of description, rather than giving my opinion, which is what a review is supposed to do (unfortunately, I had been using the uber-spoiler format in the majority of my SW@ Ticket posts as well). So in order to break away from this bad habit, I decided to return to the letter-grade system and adopt a format similar to Entertainment Weekly's "Download This:" or MTV2's Playlist-ism. I am glad to say that it worked like a charm, as you will see below.
Mojo ratings will be based on how many tracks are great and how many are garbage. + (Plus) is 1 point, / (Slash) is half a point, and - (Minus) gets nothing. So on to Soundtrack #3…
The Band: The Gorillaz (Murdoc, Russell, 2D, Noodle, voice of Blur's Damon Albarn)
The Draw: Four British cartoon characters who channel George A. Romero, Bugs Bunny, Dennis Hopper, The White Stripes, Clint Eastwood films, Gospel music, hip-hop, etc… to an un-gimmicky degree of success.
The Albums: Gorillaz, Demon Days
Gorillaz:
+ "ReHash": Poppy tune, Indecipherable lyrics, a 1-hit wonder song
+ "5/4": Addictive, alternates hard/soft, makes you march
/ "Tomorrow Comes Today" & "New Genious (Brother)": Downer songs with good lyrics
+ "Clint Eastwood" (feat. Del the Funky Homosapien): Kick-ass rap with a memorable hook, what the hell does this have to do with Clint Eastwood?
- "Man Research": "Yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyala lala lala" with sounds of Elmer Fudd having an orgasm, need I say more?
+ "Punk": The blokes try their hand at grunge rock, and Blur-inspired deja vu means success
/ "Sound Check (Gravity)": Great bass and chorus, but the "Gravity-y-y-y-y" gets annoying
/ "Double Bass": A sped-up ReHash minus lyrics, not worth remembering
+ "Rock the House": Del returns with a dis on bad dancers & posers that both can dance to
+ "19-2000": The cell-phone jingle slowed down
+ "Latin Simone (?Que Pasa Contigo?)": Spanish pseudo-opera over a sick Italian-style bass
- "Starshine": It turns out Damon Albarn has a unique voice; not for singing, though
- "Slow Country": Not memorable, no lyrics
+ "M1 A1": 90's Day Of the Dead sample builds to kick-ass rock song (I miss you, Blur)
+ "Left Hand Suzuki Method": Japanese woman talking, pyro-worthy intro, cool instrumental
+ "Dracula": Memorable because of the Bugs Bunny sample
+ Hidden Track: "Clint Eastwood" Remix: Indecipherable Reggaeton with sped-up "Eastwood" hook
+ Album Art: the Gorillaz driving a camouflaged "Geep" (funny avoidance of copyright infringement)
Overall Rating: C
Demon Days:
+ "Intro": Haunting, fugue-like melody with scratched helium voice and Romero sample. Totally freaky.
/ "Last Living Souls": Slightly more than a twice-looped sound byte, given variety by background violin
+ "Kids With Guns": Another looping track, but a cool hip-hop beat and feelgood lyrics
+ "O Green World": Funky, distorted jungle-romp beat with good lyrics
+ "Dirty Harry": Fun dance tune that (once again) has absolutely nothing to do with Mr. Eastwood. Good mix of choir hook and rap solo (Booty Brown, whoever that is)
+ "Feel Good Inc.": De La Soul laughing and rapping through a hit single and trippy video
/ "El Mañana": Nearly unintelligible track with a Latin feel
+ "Every Planet We Reach Is Dead": Alternating funky chorus-melody and depressing lyrics, reflective of the song's title
+ "November Has Come": Slow with a hip-hop beat and flowing rap (MF Doom)
+ "All Alone": Artistic; multiple voices sing the song's title to ironic effect
/ "White Light": Quiet screaming? Is that possible? Another dance loop
+ "DARE": Poppy pseudo-cover of the White Stripes' "Blue Orchid", trippy video
/ "Fire Coming Out Of A Monkey's Head," "Dont Get Lost In Heaven," and "Demon Days": Dennis Hopper tells a "subtle" anti-war story, and ten minutes of gospel music follow; a good end to an average album
+ Album Art: Good as before; fitting and sometimes ironic illustrations of each song title, almost an art gallery.
Overall Rating: B-
Also check out: the Gorillaz/Space Monkeys remix album and the G-Sides disc with alternate versions of "Clint Eastwood" and "19-2000"
Note on the following post: "Ghettoville" is the endearing nickname that my best friend at the time had coined for our high school.
January 10, 2006 (SW@ Soundtrack #3.5: Primal Scream/The Bitch Is Back) marks the first (and so far, the only) decimal issue of the Soundtrack, and enters the bitching portion of our Monkeybitch Trilogy with a follow-up to the previous Gorillaz-themed post.
I decided to check out the Gorillaz vs Spacemonkeyz remix album, titled Laika Come Home, before my three adoring fans rushed to the Wherehouse to fight over the last remaining copy. But unfortunately, Laika wasn't worth the $17.99 plus Ghettoville Tax I payed for it. What was billed as "a remixed, dub-filled reworking of the Gorillaz" was more like a chopped up, soul-sucked Astro-reggae commandeering of the Gorillaz album that defies any sort of grading system, so I'll revert to the old days of bitching about it and failing it with flying monkeyshit colorz.
The opening tracks; "19/2000," "Slow Country," "Tomorrow Comes Today," and "Man Research" (renamed, respectively rather than with respect; "Jungle Fresh," "Strictly Rubbadub," "Banana Baby," and "Monkey Racket") are decent, fairly true remixes, slowed down, extended, and occaisionally improved (as in the formerly annoying "Man Research"). "Starshine," aka "Dub 09," perhaps the most annoying song on the original album, is the VS album's most creative (or at least, interesting) track by leaps and bounds. But singles and potential hits like "Punk," "5/4," "Sound Check (Gravity)," "ReHash," "Clint Eastwood," and "M1A1" are, as I said before, sucked of any remaining soul or semblance of self by lackluster reggae beats, slow baselines, removal of the Gorillaz' hip-hop element and brilliant samples, and most of all, by that overly abused gimmick, the space echo. For one thing, sound does not echo in space because there is no fucking air! For another, the bonus remix of "Slow Country" sucks. Laika Come Home is De-Punked, de-hip-hopped, de-genre'd, generally boring (complete with equally boring, cliche' album art), and disappointingly Dubversive (the name of one of the Monkeyz). Ergo, me no Laika.
Rating: F
You can find another little piece of SW@ history at the end of this review trilogy, circa January 10, 2006 (SW@ Soundtrack #4: Greatest Hits?/The Bitching Continues).
Around the middle of SW@ Ticket's lifespan on GOM, I started including
relevant lyrics and quotes at the conclusion of each post. There have
been a few clever--or not-so-clever, depending on the flow of my
"creative juices" at the time--names for these throughout the life of my
columns. Since most of them turned out to be song lyrics, the current
working tag is If the Lyric Fits…. I hope you enjoy the following,
slightly re-written excerpt from the Greatest Hits? issue of SW@
Soundtrack:
Three best-of albums up for review tonight from Limp Bizkit, the Beastie Boys, and Soundgarden.
First, Greatest Hitz from the L-I-M-P… All the best screamfests are here, including "Break Stuff," "Nookie," "Rollin'," "My Generation," "Boiler," etc. Nearly every song on here kicks ass and logdes in your gray matter with force, although I think Fred did a disservice to George Michael by screaming his way through "Faith" (consumers with taste: refer to New Old Songs for a more easy-listening version), and a "song" about rug-munching or sexual abuse (I'm not sure which, but it's called "Eat You Alive") just doesn't win me over somehow. In addition to the classic screamers listed above, I also enjoy the softer side of Durst (see "Build A Bridge," "Behind Blue Eyes," and the newly released cover of The Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony") even though he has no talent for real singing. What appealed to me more than the music was that, unlike many greatest hits compilations, LB's LP actually comes with a lyrics booklet and visual discography (including a cover for an album they haven't even released yet) so the fans can know their Bizkit. A few disappointments, but still worth the money.
Rating: B-
Pop in the Solid Gold and commence with the bitching, hos & g's; cuz it's time once again to dis the Beasties. What they stuck in was awesome, the performance was great, but their incompetent compilation skills made me so irate. Their whiny voices and recycled rhythms aside, these Boys in Jew have a responsibility to provide. Rhymes should come in bulk, quality, and serial, but these little fucks don't seem to know their own material. I can't go on, I gotta squash this beat. Let's analyze what brought this compilation humiliation and defeat…too many missing tracks! "Letter to NYC" instead of "RightRight NowNow;" SW@ the hell?! Lyrics book; missing! "Rhymin & Stealin'," "Paul Revere," "The New Style," "Time to Get Ill," all missing! While I can't do anything about the quality I get, that's all I gotta say on Solid Gold SHits.
Rating: F
Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Well, for me, anyway. Soundgarden, whose vocal-drowning speedmetal had me alternately (and often simultaneously) yawning and barfing my way through the last two thirds of BadMotorFinger, have a rather good Hits compilation under their now-divided belt. A-Sides, so titled because only their intro tracks are any good, contains a bit of the much despised speedmetal of sentences past, but is in bulk, a treat to 94.9 and 91X listeners everywhere. Raunchy numbers like "Spoonman," "Burden in My Hand," "Outshined," and "Rusty Cage" are there; so are slow power ballads like "The Day I Tried to Live," "Black Hole Sun," "Pretty Noose," and "Blow Up the Outside World." No lyrics book, but definitely more than worth paying for (on sale, $9.99 @ The Wherehouse), listening to (the screaming is tolerable because it's Chris Cornell), or keeping for a day when you feel like kicking a little ass.
Rating: A-
If the Lyrics Fit…:
"Show me the power, child. All I can say is that I'm down on my knees today. It gives me the butterflies, gives me a way to get back on my feet again."
-Chris Cornell of Soundgarden, "Outshined"
"Just one of those days where you don't wanna wake up, everything is fucked and everybody sucks. You don't really know why, but you wanna justify rippin' someone's head off."
-Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit, "Break Stuff"
SW@,
now I'm dangerous-angerous
right now-ow-wow-wiggedy-wow-wow-ow-ow I'm dangerous-angerous
It's all about the he-said, she-said
SW@, out.
I think I better quit letting shit slip
before I'm sued for infringement
So come & get it.
Three best-of albums up for review tonight from Limp Bizkit, the Beastie Boys, and Soundgarden.
First, Greatest Hitz from the L-I-M-P… All the best screamfests are here, including "Break Stuff," "Nookie," "Rollin'," "My Generation," "Boiler," etc. Nearly every song on here kicks ass and logdes in your gray matter with force, although I think Fred did a disservice to George Michael by screaming his way through "Faith" (consumers with taste: refer to New Old Songs for a more easy-listening version), and a "song" about rug-munching or sexual abuse (I'm not sure which, but it's called "Eat You Alive") just doesn't win me over somehow. In addition to the classic screamers listed above, I also enjoy the softer side of Durst (see "Build A Bridge," "Behind Blue Eyes," and the newly released cover of The Verve's "Bittersweet Symphony") even though he has no talent for real singing. What appealed to me more than the music was that, unlike many greatest hits compilations, LB's LP actually comes with a lyrics booklet and visual discography (including a cover for an album they haven't even released yet) so the fans can know their Bizkit. A few disappointments, but still worth the money.
Rating: B-
Pop in the Solid Gold and commence with the bitching, hos & g's; cuz it's time once again to dis the Beasties. What they stuck in was awesome, the performance was great, but their incompetent compilation skills made me so irate. Their whiny voices and recycled rhythms aside, these Boys in Jew have a responsibility to provide. Rhymes should come in bulk, quality, and serial, but these little fucks don't seem to know their own material. I can't go on, I gotta squash this beat. Let's analyze what brought this compilation humiliation and defeat…too many missing tracks! "Letter to NYC" instead of "RightRight NowNow;" SW@ the hell?! Lyrics book; missing! "Rhymin & Stealin'," "Paul Revere," "The New Style," "Time to Get Ill," all missing! While I can't do anything about the quality I get, that's all I gotta say on Solid Gold SHits.
Rating: F
Surprise! Surprise! Surprise! Well, for me, anyway. Soundgarden, whose vocal-drowning speedmetal had me alternately (and often simultaneously) yawning and barfing my way through the last two thirds of BadMotorFinger, have a rather good Hits compilation under their now-divided belt. A-Sides, so titled because only their intro tracks are any good, contains a bit of the much despised speedmetal of sentences past, but is in bulk, a treat to 94.9 and 91X listeners everywhere. Raunchy numbers like "Spoonman," "Burden in My Hand," "Outshined," and "Rusty Cage" are there; so are slow power ballads like "The Day I Tried to Live," "Black Hole Sun," "Pretty Noose," and "Blow Up the Outside World." No lyrics book, but definitely more than worth paying for (on sale, $9.99 @ The Wherehouse), listening to (the screaming is tolerable because it's Chris Cornell), or keeping for a day when you feel like kicking a little ass.
Rating: A-
If the Lyrics Fit…:
"Show me the power, child. All I can say is that I'm down on my knees today. It gives me the butterflies, gives me a way to get back on my feet again."
-Chris Cornell of Soundgarden, "Outshined"
"Just one of those days where you don't wanna wake up, everything is fucked and everybody sucks. You don't really know why, but you wanna justify rippin' someone's head off."
-Fred Durst of Limp Bizkit, "Break Stuff"
SW@,
now I'm dangerous-angerous
right now-ow-wow-wiggedy-wow-wow-ow-ow I'm dangerous-angerous
It's all about the he-said, she-said
SW@, out.
I think I better quit letting shit slip
before I'm sued for infringement
So come & get it.
And with that, we leave the bitching for SW@ Soundtrack's answer to Critical Quickies, as begun on March 6, 2006 (SW@ Soundtrack #5: The List) because I hadn't bought any new music for awhile, and decided to use what little fame and what huge Blog Cojones I had to influence the kind of music my three-person readership listened to. The List is a quite obviously and appropriately named list of my favorite albums. True music buffs and listeners of generations past might disagree with my choices, but of the CDs, and yes, cassette tapes that I own, these are at the top of the list. Criteria for being on the list is that I can listen to every song on the album with pleasure (with an allowance of one bad track) and I have listened to the album ten times or more (often consecutively) without getting bored. First, the albums that have remained on The List since its GOM inception:
Smash Mouth: Astro Lounge (Fush Yu Mang was a waste of money, and anything after Astro Lounge just illustrates the band's degeneration to cover status.)
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Californication (Just about anything the RHCP do is instant gold, and this was their last, best, and final album of the 90's).
Barenaked Ladies: Stunt
Barenaked Ladies: Maroon (For both BNL albums: The lyrics will freak you out, even if the music puts you to sleep.)
Sugar Ray: 14:59 (Sometimes hard, sometimes poppy, always a show of talent, and the Intro/Flip Over/Outro tracks are cool.)
Santana: Supernatural & Shaman (Lots of high-energy songs and big name performers here--Lauryn Hill, Rob Thomas, POD, Eric Clapton, Luciano Pavarotti, Seal, Chad Kroeger, etc, etc, etc,… Don't waste your money on All That I Am; the names are still big, but it feels like a tired sequel compared to my picks.)
White Stripes: White Blood Cells (Hard rock, Beatles sound, and only two performers behind it. Awesome.)
AudioSlave (Although I listen to all three albums repeatedly, the follow-ups can't compare to the group's debut album. Killer lyrics, vocal power, and that familiar Rage Against the Machine guitar sound make for one as-yet unbeaten track set.)
Ozzy Osbourne: Under Cover (Sparked my interest in songs I never wanted to hear until they got Ozzified. Especially listen for "21st Century Schizoid Man," "Fire," "Sympathy for the Devil." I am the God Of Hellfire, and I bring you...ROCK!!)
Limp Bizkit: New Old Songs (Three different versions of "My Way," SW@ the Hell? But anyway, the remixes kick ass. Check out my melody.)
Beastie Boys: License to Ill (Just about every vintage BB track you hear on the radio is on this album.)
Uncle Kracker: Double Wide & No Stranger to Shame (Double Wide is pretty much a collection of stuff that has been on movie soundtracks--"Yeah Yeah Yeah" from Shanghai Noon, "What U Lookin At?" from Mission Impossible 2 and the X-Factor entrance theme, "Who's Your Uncle" from 3000 Miles to Graceland, etc.--and No Stranger to Shame is Kracker's transition from rap-rock to country, featuring a cover of Dobie Gray's "Drift Away," a few good, clean rap songs, and a raw, trash-talking "After School Special" that is not to be missed.)
Kid Rock: Devil Without A Cause & Cocky (Devil features the singles that got the KID on the radar--"Bawitdaba," "Cowboy," "Only God Knows Why," "I Am the Bullgod"--and Cocky lives up to its title with plenty of self-hype and egoism. As for the three Kid Rock albums I didn't mention--The History of Rock, excluding "American Badass," is a juvenile waste of disk space, his self-titled fourth mainstream album is a sign that we may never hear another rap from him, as it is mostly country, and the post-Pam record, Rock & Roll Jesus, is a half-assed assurance that I'm wrong, but it's still mostly country. I want the old Kid back!)
Modest Mouse: Good News for People Who Love Bad News (The title got me hooked, and the music kept me listening, even when I couldn't understand the words. Float on, OK?)
Mars Volta: Frances the Mute (You already know that I think this album rocks. Look for my review of The Bedlam in Goliath in SW@ Soundtrack 8: Happy Birthday to Me?)
Social Distortion: Sex, Love, and Rock & Roll (Mike Ness's Taylor-Hicks-on-a-carton-of-cigarettes-a-day voice, coupled with feel-good classic rock and motivational lyrics, is the formula for a kick-ass album. Also grab Social D's Greatest Hits album for these classics: "Ball & Chain," "Ring of Fire," and "Story of My Life").
Rob Thomas: Something to Be (While at times a bit downlifting--is there any pop star that doesn't have emotional songs these days?--Rob Thomas' solo debut is a breakaway from what fans and critics call "the soft Matchbox Twenty--or is it Matchbox20?--sound." Thomas by himself manages an edginess that his whitespace-free, alphanumeric band could not. Solo but "Lonely No More", kicking ass to show us "How a Heart Breaks," and trying to "find a downtown whore that will make me look hardcore" so he'll have "Something to Be," Thomas is coolness to the bone).
FROM January 22, 2012 (SW@ Soundtrack #6: The List 2 - The New Batch) Gremlins creators beware! I have just used a title similar to that of your pathetic franchise's first sequel! I demand one hundred beeelion dollurz (pinky finger to lips, cue dramatic music, and we're off). Anyway, back on May 8, 2006 (SW@ Soundtrack #6: Wreckless Mistakes/The Third Bitch-mandment), I was a naive WWE fan, still providing financial support to rich, steroid-dependent fakes by purchasing their entrance music (some of which remains awesome to this day). I was also sticking it to the man and putting my mild case of OCD to good use by downloading free advanced releases of said entrance music to include on my steadily growing six-disc mixtape of WWE entrance themes. I had found some themes that I thought were a terrible waste of CD time, and used the second half of the original The List 2 issue to express myself on the matter, via The Third Bitch-mandment.
For the MySpace (and Blogger) edition of SW@ Soundtrack #6, however, I will use the entire issue for new additions to The List, hence The New Batch. Once again, enjoy.
Velvet Revolver: Libertad (Contraband had some nice hard tracks on it, but as a whole it seemed a little too hard for me; a little too STP. Libertad goes in more of a generic Guns 'n' Roses direction, and winds up having more feel and more appeal than their first disc).
Red Hot Chili Peppers: Stadium Arcadium/Jupiter (As I said last time, just about everything the Red Hots do is instant gold, and the first disc of their only Billboard 1 album to date is just about perfect).
Mick Jagger: Goddess In the Doorway (It's Mick Jagger, doing what he does best, with a little help from Lenny Kravitz and Rob Thomas. Need I say more?)
The Chemical Brothers: Push the Button (This DJ crew's latest album has more going for it than sporting that catchy little Q-tip single called "Galvanize." It seemed a little too short to me, but it Pushed my Buttons. Job well done).
Everlast: Whitey Ford Sings the Blues (For some reason, I'm a sucker for white rappers–excluding a certain crazy, candy-monikered hypocrite from Detroit–and former House of Pain member Everlast is one of my favorites. He doesn't resort to gangsta rap or rapping about abusing women and drugs unless it is with the purpose of putting these vices into perspective. His Whitey Ford album is soulful, eclectic, and mostly uplifting as far as rap goes).
MTV Mashups Presents Jay-Z vs Linkin Park: Collision Course (Proof once again that I'm a sucker for white rappers and DJ albums, Collision Course is a remix masterpiece through and through. Too short and missing a few key ingredients–like a "Crawling/Hard Knock Life" remix–but I like all that I hear).
Rockstar Supernova (No longer available for sale anywhere, the one and only album released by Tommy Lee, Gilby Clark, Jason Newsted, and Rockstar-winning frontman Lucas Rossi is still not to be missed. Elements of Crue, Guns, and Metallica, combined with Rossi's unique vocals, are enough to make your "Headspin" and turn what would otherwise be a "Dead Parade" into a hit parade. Pick up the pieces).
The Raconteurs: Consolers of the Lonely (Look for a review of this album in Soundtrack 8: Happy Birthday to Me? It's my latest purchase, and I'll tell you how great it is in a few issues).
The White Stripes: Icky Thump (This album shouldn't really be on The List because it fails the "only one worthless song" criteria. But I'm going to include it anyway because it's unique. Like an icky thump, the album is a mix of sounds you've never heard from the Stripes before: Irish ballads, bagpipes, accordions, Meg having actually improved her drumming, and still with only two people in the band. Crazy, man, crazy).
I may give tribute later on to the albums that almost made The List or give it some kind of ordering, but for now it's late and I haven't had any energy drinks or anything to keep me awake for very long tonight, so I'll just stop here. In hopes that I have made you buy these albums or at least look up the artists, let me say stay tuned!
I elected to spare you my prejudicial, wrestling catchphrase-infused rantings of the original Soundtrack #6, but to provide historical context for my WWE-watching readers that extends beyond a mere date (assuming you have read this far in this oversized holy grail of critical mashuppery), I have also made the executive decision to include the issue that followed The Third Bitch-mandment as SW@ (a.k.a. The Ticketmaster, a.k.a. me) intended.
FROM July 14, 2008 (SW@ Soundtrack #7: Packed Stadium, Wreckless Superstars, and 5-Cent Charity): SW@ back in the studio again with some music reviews, and quite possibly some positive words about a few of the albums on the block.
First up is the Red Hot Chili Peppers' first #1 album ever: Stadium Arcadium. Stadium weighs in at 2 discs and 28 tracks, so I had not yet listened to the full album at the time of this post's original writing. I have since listened to both discs and found the second to be unmemorable for the most part. Therefore, I'll only deal with the first disc (Jupiter?), which is frickin awesome by itself. The only track on Jupiter I wouldn't bother with is "Torture Me" because that's lyrically and auditorially what it's like: torture. The rest of the disc is pure artistry, whether the classic Chili Pepper rhymes and "Sweet Home Alabama" feel of "Dani California" (a bit recycled, but a good story song), the contrasting lyric/instrumental speed of "Snow (Hey O)", the powerful guitar solos in "Charlie" and "She's Only 18," or the oxymoronic humor of "Slow Cheetah." Did I mention Stadium Arcadium is a steal at $17.99 (regular price $24.99) for two discs at the Wherehouse?
Note to all y'all ain't know: The Wherehouse on Fletcher Parkway is closed. :(
And now, a revised review of WWE: Wreckless Intent. Batista's theme is much more than a repeated loop, Randy Orton's Mercy Drive theme is still intact, Coach's theme is indeed "Hard Hittin'" (kind of a Nelly/Chingy sound to it), it's nice to hear Big Show's theme as a full-version song (although Brand New Sin's version lacks some of the power of the Jim Johnston original), Carlito's reggaeton theme is cool--for lack of a less punny word--but not as personal as his Theme Addict song, and I don't know what Silkk the Shocker's contribution has to do with WWE but it still kicks ass, as does Mark Henry's theme. Candice's entrance is a complete waste, Torrie and Maria's themes are too generic (they sound too much like Christy Hemme's), you already know I think Theory of a Deadman's "Deadly Game" cover lacks the soul and hip-hop of the AZ/Jim Johnston original, and RVD's new entrance and Killswitch Engage's "This Fire Burns" are uninteresting screamfests (the RVD theme from Forceable Entry is cooler by a Five-Star Frog Splash). The only revisions I'll make regarding Wreckless Intent refer to "Booyakah 619" and "King of Kings." Apparently the version of Rey Mysterio's theme I previewed was the pre-WI version, not done by POD; so I'd like to say that the POD cover is much better than what I heard before (but I still prefer the old 619 because his first entrance was more energetic and interesting). I stand firm that Triple H's new theme makes him sound like a silver-spooned pansy, but a second listen brought back memories of DGenerationX, so I decided it wasn't that bad.
Speaking of DGenerationX, making Triple H a face and teaming him up with Shawn Michaels was a brilliant business move on Vince McMahon's part. Character-wise, I still want to see Vinnie get his ass kicked in the ring, but you can't argue with financial genius. Also, John Cena vs RVD at "One-Night Stand" (Money in the Bank cashed in) was brilliant scripting. Welcome back, ECW! Hope your franchise flounders (again), but I enjoy the change of pace and will tune in to the SciFi channel to see just how B movie cheap the venue is.
Anyway, here's a look at Nickelback: All the Right Reasons. To cut it short, see the Playlist-ism below.
1- "Follow You Home": raunchy, gritty, and somehow romantic (classic Nickelback; for a similar vibe, see the Silver Side Up album)
3- "Photograph": Over-played single #1, but still good
4- "Animals": Fast, driving, sexy chase-scene music for eloping grunge-metalists
5- "Savin' Me": Over-played single #2, well-written and not yet over-over-played
6- "Far Away": Potential OPS #3, soon to be in every formulaic romantic comedy in America
7- "Next Contestant": A sort of funny "don't touch my girl or I'll fuck you up" song (Lesbians beware as well)
9- "If Everyone Cared": A cheesy but well-written utopia anthem
10-"Someone That You're With": Somewhere between OPS #4 and Silver Side Up
11-"Rockstar": Kid Rock wannabe anthem, written with the lyrical prowess I've come to expect from Chad Kroeger
WHAT I LEFT OUT:
2- "Fight for All the Wrong Reasons": The epitome of title tracks that suck. It's too fast and borderline emotionless, and the title doesn't even match
8- "Side of a Bullet": Read the lyrics, and you get a highly moving poem about the last days of John Wilkes Booth; hear the song (assuming you still want to call it a song when you finish listening to it), and you get an emphysema-fueled yellapalooza with an ugly instrumental that reduces Kroeger's songwriting to a robotic mess
Speaking of B movies, I'd say this is a B album for All the Right Reasons.
FROM July 14, 2008 (SW@ Soundtrack #8: Happy Birthday to Me?): Happy Bastille Day, faithful readers!
Welcome to the first fresh SW@ Soundtrack you've seen on MySpace. No preexisting drafts anywhere else. What you see is what you get, and what you get today is a belated critical tribute to the three albums I bought on my birthday: FloBots - Fight With Tools, The Mars Volta - The Bedlam in Goliath, and The Raconteurs - Consolers of the Lonely.
First, the worst: The FloBots' album, titled Fight With Tools, is over-represented by the group's chillingly awesome, lyrically strange single, "Handlebars." From the introductory cartoon-tiptoe baseline, through references to everything from cherry stems and remote controls to platypi (Platypusses? Platypus? Platypese? I don't know) to electric cars and a nuclear holocaust, "Handlebars" makes you believe you're safe on a quad with training wheels until that fateful moment when you realize you've crashed a rickety unicycle and been slammed face-first into a sidewalk full of Whoa! Unfortunately, the rest of Fight With Tools is a below-average lyrical lecture full of anti-war, Rainbow Coalition, "smile on your brother" schlock. The title, Fight With Tools, in and of itself, may be a message encouraging us to wage war (or not) intelligently, rather than constantly throwing our own feces at each other like a bunch of territorial monkeys. But the depth of the message stops there. I believe that you, too, can ride your bike with no handlebars (no handlebars, no handlebars). But don't waste your money Fighting With Tools.
Rating: D+
The Bedlam In Goliath is classic Volta: freaky soundscapes, unusually good musicianship, and vocal talent so Coheed & Cambria good that an a capella cut of the album would play like 2001: A Space Opera. Speaking of classical music, Bedlam brings back the Symphony-of-Strange feel that made Frances the Mute so friggin' good. Once again, expect to find songs that are almost ten minutes long. Expect a weird-yet-intriguing album cover. Expect the unexpected, and indulge con mucho gusto. Bedlam may not have a hit single like Mute's "Widow (Never Sleep Alone)" or completely measure up to that previous effort; but trust me on this: The Bedlam in Goliath promises exotic aural gratification at its best.
Rating: B+
(Cool idea: The Mars Volta and Blue Man Group, Live In Concert)
They say (whoever "they" are) that familiarity breeds contempt. But in the case of The Raconteurs' Consolers Of the Lonely, "they" would be wrong because the familiarity in question here is the group's (and the listener's) familiarity with the work of various music legends. On the opening title track, the 'teurs take a cue from the likes of Metallica, Aerosmith ("Walk This Way"), and the Chili Peppers ("Suck My Kiss"). Noisier tracks like the single "Salute Your Solution" and "Hold Up" are reminders that Jack White is the true musical genius behind the Stripes. Slower, Beatles-inspired tunes like "You Don't Understand Me" accomplish the same. "Old Enough" puts "Sweet Home Alabama" somewhere between an Irish jig and a country-western hoedown. "Top Yourself" echoes the Meat Puppets and Nirvana, etc, etc. But what really grabbed me about Consolers besides the familiarity and the overall energy of the album was the handful of songwriting gems put forth by Jack White III and Brendan Benson, who have proven that calling themselves Raconteurs doesn't just mean they're in the band (see "The Switch and the Spur" for an example of their prowess). Consolers Of the Lonely is full of memorable songs, but if I say any more, I risk ruining the experience for you. Meanwhile,
If the Lyric Fits…:
"Any poor souls
who trespass against us
whether it be beast or man
will suffer the bite
or be stung dead on site
by those who inhabit this land.
For theirs is the power
and this is their kingdom
as sure as the sun does burn.
So enter this path
but heed these four words…
…'You shall never return.'"
- The Raconteurs, "The Switch and the Spur"
Rating: A-
Well, I haven't gone to see Iron Man yet, but to answer the title question of this issue, I say "Happy Birthday to me!"
FROM August 17, 2008 (SW@ Soundtrack #9: Power Serj, Viva Pinata, and the Crash of '08): Here I am, back after another brief absence; this time, due to what I think is my very first hard-drive crash. In the past, I have accidentally made a computer destroy itself with what it thought were command script files (but were just ordinary text files with a .com extension), and somehow deleted the mouse drivers on another computer and had to do a complete system restore on it, but one can never truly call him/herself a computer user until they have had at least one hard-drive crash.
I
took my laptop to Circuit City and they said it was going to take two
weeks just to diagnose it, plus another indeterminate period of time to
repair/replace the part. I had the money to cover the repairs, but I
start what will be my last semester at SDSU in three weeks. In short, I needed a computer fast. So, since I could also cover the cost of a new laptop, I went ahead and bought one.
Shameless plug alert: Circuit City is the place
to go if you're starting or continuing college. I got a nice HP laptop
with a built-in webcam, remote, media center, printer/scanner/copier,
service plan, carrying case, and anti-virus software for roughly $1,000
(which will drop by $200-300 after the rebates).
Downside alert: I hate Vista!
Lots of useless programs, strange functionality (including all that
double-confirmation crap when you want to change something), a whole new
file system structure, and...Office 2007? WTF? Don't get me wrong;
Vista has some fine points (like the Windows Media Center and all those
enhanced personalization features), but it seems like when Microsoft
"upgraded" from XP to Vista, they did the equivalent of cutting one leg
off of all the Hooters waitresses and sending them to work at IHOP.
Sure, it's pretty to look at, but getting around is awkward and a little
too bouncy. Eh, I paid for my hot wings so I might as well eat 'em.
Double Downside alert: Later that year, Circuit City joined my local record stores in the Failed Business Club.
If I can ever figure out how to use my scanner and webcam, I'll start uploading my EW cover sketches to MySpace and maybe have a podcast of my parrot dancing to my favorite songs. Don't get too excited yet, though.
Another bit of news: after putting out notices to most of my 15 friends, SW@ Ticket, etc. now has 2 readers. Welcome aboard, Jorge.
OK, on to my usual antics. Up for review first (as promised) is Coldplay's Viva la Vida OR Death and All His Friends. Heralded by Entertainment Weekly and Rolling Stone as the second coming of U2 and accused--although as a 91X/94.9 listener who loves every Coldplay single on the airwaves I really don't understand why--of being incredibly boring one-trick ponies, the band teamed up with the folks who, by virtue of How to Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, brought U2 back from the dead; and the influences shine through. Unfortunately, in my eyes they shine through too much.
Double Downside alert: Later that year, Circuit City joined my local record stores in the Failed Business Club.
If I can ever figure out how to use my scanner and webcam, I'll start uploading my EW cover sketches to MySpace and maybe have a podcast of my parrot dancing to my favorite songs. Don't get too excited yet, though.
Another bit of news: after putting out notices to most of my 15 friends, SW@ Ticket, etc. now has 2 readers. Welcome aboard, Jorge.
OK, on to my usual antics. Up for review first (as promised) is Coldplay's Viva la Vida OR Death and All His Friends. Heralded by Entertainment Weekly and Rolling Stone as the second coming of U2 and accused--although as a 91X/94.9 listener who loves every Coldplay single on the airwaves I really don't understand why--of being incredibly boring one-trick ponies, the band teamed up with the folks who, by virtue of How to Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, brought U2 back from the dead; and the influences shine through. Unfortunately, in my eyes they shine through too much.
There
are quite a few high points to the album, like the aptly named and
richly soundscaped opener "Life in Technicolor," the possibly
Beatles-inflluenced "Strawberry Swing," the familiar Butthole Surfers
sound of the first half of "Yes," the orchestral power of "Viva La Vida"
(the first title track, pimped out as a promo single for iTunes), and
the Dark Knight-worthy...ummm...darkness of "Violet Hill," in
which frontman Chris Martin, like Heath Ledger in his turn as The Joker
incarnate, sounds almost nothing like himself. Instrumentally, Vida/Death
is an international buffet for the eardrum. But vocally and otherwise, I
would for the most part say that this is a lost U2 album, not a product
of the Coldplay single-machine that I have come to know and love.
Geographically speaking, "Yes," "Viva La Vida," and "Violet Hill" are a
towering three-peak mountain range at the soul of the album and there
are a few exotic villages scattered around it, but the rest is green
territory; forgettable and in serious need of development.
Rating: C+
Consolers Of the Lonely remains undefeated as my favorite album, and as I have made abundantly clear in my reviews of Charlie Wilson's War and the Flobots' Fight With Tools album, I do not particularly enjoy being bludgeoned with highly controversial political issues. But Serj Tankian's debut solo project Elect the Dead almost hooked me in because while I loathe a certain breed of celebrity activist, I am always in awe of a profound wordsmith. OK, I may be stretching that "profound wordsmith" thing with song titles like "Honking Antelope," "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition," and worst of all (ladies, you can either look away now or fill in the asterisks): "Beethoven's C***." Yes, if you're reading this, you read it right; I said "Beethoven's C***." Bizarre song titles and heavy metal aside, if you read the lyrics booklet and the dare-I-say-awesome-again poetry on the last page, it's full of honest, insightful, strange-looking nuggets of solid gold with not another profane word in the bunch. Unless you're a true System Of a Down fan, you can skip "The Unthinking Majority" and "Money." Regardless, listen for the established singles, "Empty Walls" and "Sky Is Over," as well as "Lie Lie Lie," the opening theme from this summer's scary-movie-of-the-week TV series Fear Itself. A wise DJ once said that if you listen to a side project or solo effort by someone in a band that you like and they sound exactly like the band they're from, you can rightfully assume that they are the genius behind that group. The sticker on the almost-impossible-to-open packaging of Serj's CD proclaims him "the voice of System Of a Down," and even though you might have to listen to "Beethoven's C***" with a straight face, you'll agree that he's marketed that way for a f***ing good reason.
Rating: A-
Quote of the Day: "The Pacific Ocean, Natalie! Ocean in my pants! There's ocean in my pants!"
-Tony Shaloub as Adrian Monk, on USA Network's Monk
Even though I can't afford, the blog is over.
I am Sean and I am out; the blog is over.
I used too many hyphens and the blog is over.
I have ocean in my pants; the blog is over.
I am SW@ and I am out; the blog is over.
I cooked a Honking Antelope; the meat is over...
DOOONNNNNE!!!!!!
And that's where the Soundtrack stopped. I haven't written one since. But, as promised, I will kick it off next time with the long-awaited R.E.M. breakup issue. First, though, here's a little something inspired by the Barenaked Ladies, titled If I Had a Million Dollars: If I had a million dollars, I'd buy the most Christian part of Texas, dig the most crooked canal I could conceive of through the middle of town, and name it the Strait of Gay. Or I could just settle for devising the world's first ironic homosexual homonym. Break out the Icy Hot and the Anti-freeze Coolant; it's time to party!
Rating: C+
Consolers Of the Lonely remains undefeated as my favorite album, and as I have made abundantly clear in my reviews of Charlie Wilson's War and the Flobots' Fight With Tools album, I do not particularly enjoy being bludgeoned with highly controversial political issues. But Serj Tankian's debut solo project Elect the Dead almost hooked me in because while I loathe a certain breed of celebrity activist, I am always in awe of a profound wordsmith. OK, I may be stretching that "profound wordsmith" thing with song titles like "Honking Antelope," "Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition," and worst of all (ladies, you can either look away now or fill in the asterisks): "Beethoven's C***." Yes, if you're reading this, you read it right; I said "Beethoven's C***." Bizarre song titles and heavy metal aside, if you read the lyrics booklet and the dare-I-say-awesome-again poetry on the last page, it's full of honest, insightful, strange-looking nuggets of solid gold with not another profane word in the bunch. Unless you're a true System Of a Down fan, you can skip "The Unthinking Majority" and "Money." Regardless, listen for the established singles, "Empty Walls" and "Sky Is Over," as well as "Lie Lie Lie," the opening theme from this summer's scary-movie-of-the-week TV series Fear Itself. A wise DJ once said that if you listen to a side project or solo effort by someone in a band that you like and they sound exactly like the band they're from, you can rightfully assume that they are the genius behind that group. The sticker on the almost-impossible-to-open packaging of Serj's CD proclaims him "the voice of System Of a Down," and even though you might have to listen to "Beethoven's C***" with a straight face, you'll agree that he's marketed that way for a f***ing good reason.
Rating: A-
Quote of the Day: "The Pacific Ocean, Natalie! Ocean in my pants! There's ocean in my pants!"
-Tony Shaloub as Adrian Monk, on USA Network's Monk
Even though I can't afford, the blog is over.
I am Sean and I am out; the blog is over.
I used too many hyphens and the blog is over.
I have ocean in my pants; the blog is over.
I am SW@ and I am out; the blog is over.
I cooked a Honking Antelope; the meat is over...
DOOONNNNNE!!!!!!
And that's where the Soundtrack stopped. I haven't written one since. But, as promised, I will kick it off next time with the long-awaited R.E.M. breakup issue. First, though, here's a little something inspired by the Barenaked Ladies, titled If I Had a Million Dollars: If I had a million dollars, I'd buy the most Christian part of Texas, dig the most crooked canal I could conceive of through the middle of town, and name it the Strait of Gay. Or I could just settle for devising the world's first ironic homosexual homonym. Break out the Icy Hot and the Anti-freeze Coolant; it's time to party!
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