Ticket Stubs #3: Sideways Traditions

From my first reference to it in my review of The Trip to my many mentions of Thomas Haydn Church in yesterday's "Then & Now," my official third issue of Ticket Stubs brings you a review, via the many traditions observed by the stars of Sideways, many of which are antiquated and pointless.

FROM May 12, 2005 (SW@ Ticket #37: Sex Wax, Sideways Stories, & the Star Spanglish Banner): Sideways is a classic odd couple road trip movie, minus most of the laughs. In Joey Lawrence (Blossom) and Matt LeBlanc (Friends) tradition, Thomas Haydn Church is a stupid actor. In his own tradition of the depressed introvert writer from American Splendor, Paul Giamatti is a downer who thinks he can't write, knows too much about wine, and drinks too much about wine. In the tradition of American Wedding (minus the laughs and the wedding), Sideways follows Church and Giamatti through California's vineyards on the way to Church's wedding. Along the way, THC (isn't that the chemical in pot?) decides he's going to get laid one last time before tying on the big iron ball, and try to get Giamatti a little piece of action in the bargain. He succeeds, they lie their asses off, the women find out, and Church goes to his wedding with deceit on his mind.

The wine talk was boring, the sex was pointless, the drunkeness was depressing, and the humor was just enough above par to keep me interested until the next subtle guffaw moment.

If you review for the San Diego Reader and you like doing the depression thing: A (***)

If you're SW@ and you don't: D (I'll give it some credit because I didn't fall asleep)

If the Lyric Fits:

Why do you drink?

To get drunk!

Tell me why do you role dope?

To get stoned!

And why must you live your life just like the songs that you wrote?

I don't know. It's just me!

When I'm down in an old gents' club and some chick tries to give me some friction,

(You know how I do!)

I say "Bring it on" 

I say it all night long: "It's a family tradition."

- DF Dub, "Family Tradition"

If the Lyric Fits, wear it. And stay tuned for tomorrow's Ticket Stubs, as we Crash a Wedding with Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson.