Just the Ticket #142: Alien Resurrection

Article by Sean Wilkinson,

a.k.a. Ticketmaster 8

I only wish there were seven more of me to do the things I don't want to do, and to help me do the things I enjoy, but better. I seem to be doing alright for myself, though, as we're poised to pass twenty thousand views for the month. But (save one or two sources of light) work is not my friend at the moment, so a few viable clones, or more realistically, a more enjoyable paying job, would make life a lot more bearable.

To ensure that Just the Ticket stays viable and enjoyable, please remember to tell each of your friends, family members, and clones to Become A Ticketholder if you haven't already, send a beacon to the comments section at the bottom of this post because it's the only way to be sure my site doesn't get nuked from orbit, help out my ad revenue as you read to keep The Company happy, and use the air ducts to follow me on Tumblr, Reddit, Facebook, and LinkedIn so you can like what you see and receive the freshest Xenomorph eggs of news on my chest-busting content.

Grown in a Petrie dish in 1997, Alien Resurrection marks the end of the "Quadrilogy," and is the third theatrical effort of Amelie director Jean-Pierre Jeunet, based on a script by the now-infamous Joss Whedon.

Originally intended to be followed by an Earth-set fifth installment (until Sigourney Weaver declined because she predicted Requiem--I'm joking, but sources say she was afraid the franchise would go in an "aliens jumping out of haystacks" direction, and Requiem was basically Aliens Vs. Predator Vs. Rednecks in the few scenes that were actually visible, so I joke from a place of truth), Resurrection slingshots proceedings ahead two hundred years to when Earth was a nuclear hellhole waiting for Planet Of the Apes to happen, Mother got replaced by Father, synthetics could be women now, and Weyland-Yutani got bought up by Wal-Mart (that's an actual line from the Special Edition cut because Joss Whedon wrote the script). Since Ripley died at the end of Alien Cubed, her cryosleep pod was shown to still be around, and genetic material can be perfectly preserved for two centuries in the distant future, a group of military scientists (led by Brad Dourif as Dr. Gediman, marking the second time since Critters 4 that we will never get a Chucky movie in space) employed by General Perez (Dan Hedaya, of the Midnight Run sequels that I just decided I'll be reviewing next month) have managed to clone Ripley (the eighth of which was fully viable) and surgically remove the Queen embryo from it in hopes of birthing more Xenomorphs and domesticating them (beating Jurassic World to its terrible, Dr. Evil-inspired, "weaponize the monsters" subplot by eighteen years). But because late-90s cheese and "genetic memory psychic powers" pseudoscience, Ripley 8 is psychically linked to the Xenomorph Queen and her spawn, the aliens are more intelligent, and bad things happen to bad people. Also, Ripley 8 has enhanced physical abilities and acidic blood that play into the plot several times.

Unfortunately, this includes beating Daredevil and Catwoman to the "super-powered chick styles on clueless male pig at a game of hoops" scene by six or seven years.

Said clueless male pig is Johner (played by Hellboy himself, Ron Perlman), a member of the mercenary crew of the Betty,

This is all I could think of when the name of the ship came onscreen.

alongside the womanizing Captain Elgyn (Michael Wincott, sounding like he swallowed his own ADR recordings), the two-gunning first mate Christie (CSI's Gary Dourdan), the charismatic paraplegic mechanic Vreiss (one of my three favorite characters, played by frequent Jeunet collaborator, Dominique Pinon), and the aforementioned female synthetic Call (played by a pre-shoplifting Winona Ryder). There are other characters, but since the Xenomorphs kill based on plot armor and a complicated formula involving charisma and asshole levels, they (and thankfully, Elgyn) don't matter and die quickly. Joined by a surviving Facehugger host (Daredevil's Leland Orser), a scientist (Tremors 4's James E. Freeman, playing Resurrection's requisite not-so-secretly-evil asshole who gets what's coming to him) and a rebellious soldier (Breaking Bad's Raymond Cruz), our plucky crew of anti-heroes (who were kidnapping frozen people from salvaged ships to provide the military with breeding vessels for their Xenomorph army prior to the events of the film, so they're good-by-necessity in this context, making them marginally more interesting than the chauvinistic murder-rapist monks from the previous entry) must quell the alien infestation before the Auriga (the research ship) crashes on Earth.

On the whole, Resurrection is a better executed and more fun entry than the third, sporting a high concept, more identifiable characters, better character interactions (especially between Ripley 8 and Call), a better chase scene (the underwater segment is maybe my third favorite action sequence in the Alien franchise behind the loader fight and the original's finale), a unique creature design (an albino, human/Xenomorph Frankensteinian hybrid, termed "the Newborn"), and a gruesome take on the franchise's most iconic recurring trope, which makes a welcome return after its absence in the previous entry.

But then we get to the problems, starting with that late 90s tone where the movie can't decide if it's being edgy, awkward, weird, campy, sexy, or all available bad combinations thereof. This is the most evident with Ripley 8. Of course, Sigourney Weaver gives everything to this performance, as if it's the most fun she has ever had or ever will have. But the character is pure "born sexy yesterday with her foot up the nearest ass," going from not knowing what the fork a fuck is to beating three men unconscious with a basketball to making do-me eyes at everyone (including her genetic nightmare of a surrogate child) to being an emotionally complex woman to being a competent, sarcastic badass who can fly anything and survive atmospheric re-entry temperatures (3000⁰F to 7000⁰F) unscathed and virtually unprotected. None of those qualities are inherently bad by themselves, nor are they out of character for either Ripley or the "born sexy and kicking ass yesterday" archetype. But with everything the movie is trying to be and do (the concept, the franchise tropes, being better than Alien 3, the characters, the action, the relatively short runtime, the pace, and more), said qualities feel scene-dependent with little to no time for coherent progression or transition between them.

Still, I had way more good and bad fun watching this than I did Alien 3, and even some parts of Aliens. I miss the fully practical effects from the first two, though.

B-

To ensure that Just the Ticket stays as practical as possible and crosses that 20,000 monthly view threshold, please remember to tell each of your friends, family members, and clones to Become A Ticketholder if you haven't already, send a beacon to the comments section at the bottom of this post because it's the only way to be sure my site doesn't get nuked from orbit, help out my ad revenue as you read to keep The Company happy, and use the air ducts to follow me on Tumblr, Reddit, Facebook, and LinkedIn so you can like what you see and receive the freshest Xenomorph eggs of news on my chest-busting content.

Ticketmaster 8,

Surviving re-entry and

Bursting Out.