Dragon Blog Super #13: What If GOKU Was NEVER BORN? (Generations Saga)

Article by Sean Wilkinson,

a.k.a. A MasakoX Fan

a.k.a. An "Old Man"

So, today is my birthday. And according to Wikipedia, I am exactly, to the day, seven months older than the first issue of the Dragon Ball manga. And I am a fan, so I have a literal May-December relationship with the franchise. Happy Birthday to me!...?

So please, wish me Happy Birthday in the comments, like and follow through the usual clicky things around my blog, gift me a bit of ad revenue, and check in with me on Tumblr, Reddit, and Facebook for the latest news on content like this: I'm finally finishing my Generations Saga entry for "What If GOKU Was NEVER BORN?"...!

Last time in Dragon Blog Super, the Earth was endangered once again with the arrival of Planet Makyo, unleashing Garlic, Jr., his minions, and the Evil Saiyan, Cumber. This was all off the back of Broly's training on Yardrat and his defeat at the hands of Cooler through previous parts, and culminated in Broly unlocking a new form through his Saiyan God lineage. I tried not to include Beerus and Whis in the Super portion of my story, but if you compare the ending of the previous part to Broly's progression, you'll see that each time Broly had a vision of Yamoshi, or regained consciousness, or attained or shared the Saiyan God form, it caused Beerus to toss and turn in his sleep, until finally, he awakened.

With regard to the Saiyan characters, things progress very similar to the Battle Of Gods and Resurrection F material, just with Broly, Paragus, and Tarble standing in for Goku, and there still not being enough pure-hearted Saiyans to perform the ritual. Plus, Vegeta showed in the original that the ritual isn't really needed to attain Saiyan God...that we know of, so that's what I'm going with.

Also, the appeasement with food is handled by Gure and Zangya (who insist on accompanying Vegeta and Tarble to Beerus' planet), with Tarble handling desserts. The stakes are higher than when he was feeding Majin Vomi, but Tarble is much more respectful and composed in Beerus' presence. Buu is also here because Whis took an interest in his hybrid God/Magical ki, and Bahdo is there to hang out and train with her family and "Auntie Zangya." Thankfully, there is no "pudding incident" here, as Buu has a more solid, respect-based friendship with Tarble than what we got with Mr. Satan in the original (and Buu wished for unlimited pudding earlier in the story). Whis also seems quite interested in Zangya's unique powers, as well as Broly's fighting style. His destructive power is intriguing for a mortal, and he can already fight on impulse alone; could Broly be the rare mortal to do what even Beerus could not?

But this is pretty much what happens for quite some time: trade Earth food for training, rinse, repeat. The planet isn't in danger as long as the Saiyans and their companions keep proving their epicurean worth, so it's basically peace time for the rest of the team.

I set up the kids' training in the last part as well because they'd been background characters since the last Budokai, and there are all kinds of slice of life, training, and wacky adventures that they could participate in to keep them relevant. Not even the human fighters have done much beyond fighting lackeys, and Piccolo has developed something of an Owned Counter over the last few parts, so I thought it would be cool to explore some of that. Hence, the Generations Saga.

Let's start with Yamcha, who is being a good dad and taking Bulla to his baseball games, with Gevo providing chauffeur services in one of the trucks that he and Bulla repaired (even though everyone can fly), in between her schooling and martial arts training. 

Because the Kais are mostly incompetent and get their jollies from watching competitions of all kinds, and because there is apparently television in the afterlife, The Grand Kai gets an idea (spurned on by West Kai's grudge against King Kai--instead of mocking him for being dead because Goku didn't blow him up with Cell, he constantly ridicules him for daring to beat Beerus in an auto race and losing half the mass of his planet) to challenge Team Yamcha to a game of baseball, with the likes of Pikkon, Olibu, Earthquake, the Clown Brothers, Bosumo (I called him Botamo in the Bojack Arc, but I decided to change it here and in the last compilation post because something Multiversal could still happen now that Beerus is awake, and having two Botamos later would be confusing), and West Kai playing for Team Otherworld. Yamcha manages to scrounge together Tien, Krillin, Kumu, Chiaotzu, Mai, Piccolo (who is training in Kai techniques with Shin and Kibito), Shu, and King Kai himself, to fill the rest of his roster. There are no real stakes here; just bragging rights for the winning Kai, and just like in the original, it comes down to Yamcha diving into home for the winning run, and the two Compass Kais roll off in a cloud of curses, limbs, and onomatopoeia sparks before Grand Kai separates them and drags them back home by their ears. The Otherworld fighters thank their opponents for coming to the rescue againsr Bojack, and for sharing a modern Earth custom with them. Naturally, Bulla totally idolizes Yamcha after this, and vows to one day be strong and cool like him (this will change later, after she grows up a bit). In fact, there's a little something she and Gevo have been working on that might help her get there....

Another day, Kumu finds out that he has been selected to be a consultant for the upcoming police drama, "Super-Elite," a grounded adaptation of Tights' (who is on-set as a source consultant) Galactic Policeman novel series, starring Barry Kahn and Cocoa Amaguri. Of course, Barry gets jealous of Kumu and coerces Cocoa into a blackmailing scheme against him, which Videl (who is touring the studio with Caltrop, Marin, and Straps in tow, and engaged in blackmail herself early in their relationship) is too smart to buy into, driving Barry into a rage that draws the attention of a recently escaped Galactic Patrol prisoner from Planet Watagash. The usual beats of the Super filler ensue from there, but with no Mr. Satan there to take credit and the Great Saiyaman not being a thing, Marin and Straps are the ones to bring down Watagashi. Straps has matured as a character thanks to Videl's training, and he and Marin have sort of a teenage crush thing going on, such that they're embarrassed to do the Fusion Dance. After much blushing, they fuse properly into Maraps, who is goofy and cocky like Straps, but a disciplined fighter like Marin (like Gotenks, but less of a comic relief). They use Forced Spirit Fission to separate Watagashi from Barry Kahn and trap it with an attack they made up, called the Galactic Chestnut, until Jaco arrives to take it into custody (with no one the wiser that his dirt-dive against Mis inadvertently led to Watagashi's escape in the first place...oops).

Barry Kahn is fired from the production and sent to prison, and the Director convinces our heroes to let him do a Super Sentai children's show (let's call it something like "Fusion Sentai Patrollder") using Marin and Straps as his inspiration.

It's also important to note here that with Bulma and Vomi's book being publicly available, the Director doesn't think that it's all special effects; he knows the flight and fusion and energy attacks are real, and is grateful to have so many...budget-friendly human resources at his disposal. He also knows that if he appears too greedy, they can all kick his ass.

Years later, a chubby, gothic-looking young man in a purple unitard is sitting in his cell, eating his weekly commissary pack of Twice-Filled Qreoz and watching the latest episode of "Fusion Sentai Patrollder." On the bunk across from him, an unshaven and sunken-eyed Barry Kahn says, "Turn that off, you privileged little bastard! Don't you know it cost me my career‽"

Hedo shoots him a piercing, sidelong glance while deliberately using one half of his cookie to scoop the cream filling from the other half and scrape it clean with his teeth. "Do you know the difference between you and myself, Mr. Kahn?" He asked. "It isn't a matter of privilege. Nor of wealth. Not even the vast and obvious gap in our intellect."

Hedo muttered something that Barry didn't quite understand, and a golden-yellow antenna array formed at the young man's wrist.

"Wh-what the hell is that?" the disgraced actor stuttered, suddenly afraid of what Hedo might do, and with good reason. "You can't have stuff like that in here! Guard! Guard!"

Ignoring Kahn's outburst, Hedo continued: "the difference between us is not what we have, but what we deserve. I worship heroes, Mr. Kahn. If you can't tell by my attire, I'm something of a justice advocate, myself. As for you, I've done my research: blackmail, destruction of property, conspiring with alien invaders, attacking women and children,..not a great plan."

Even more terrified, Barry Kahn tries to defend himself, shifting blame to Watagashi for his actions, but Hedo is having none of it.

"Bottom line, Mr. Kahn: you are a villain. You deserve to be in here, while I do not. Do you have any idea how much that stings?"

Before he can even process the young man's words, Barry Kahn feels a sharp prick at the base of his neck, and shortly after, feels nothing more in this dimension.

When the medics arrive sometime later to collect the body, Hedo simply slips out of the room and walks out the front door, casually taking out several attacking prisoners and non-lethally subduing the guards as he goes, and tosses a high-yield IED inside the prison when he leaves.

There is no Red Pharmaceuticals in this story, and I have different plans in mind besides doing Super Hero beat-for-beat, so Magenta and Carmine don't pick Hedo up here. Instead, I'm going for a bit of a convoluted revenge take.

While marathoning "Fusion Sentai Patrollder," Hedo noticed several familiar names in the ending credits, including the officer who arrested him a few months ago: Kumu. Perhaps it was time to pay our favorite steamed chestnut a visit?

But around the time of the baseball "episode," Hedo's arrest, and the filming of the "Super-Elite" pilot, Tien was dealing with the logistics of establishing a Neo-Crane School (because dub Tien was all about making things "Neo" back in the day) in partnership with Master Roshi and Chiaotzu, but also...women troubles. Thankfully, that doesn't also mean urine troubles this time around because this is the perfect time to bring Chi-Chi into the story! It's a little bit of Yurin's motivation crossed with a little bit of the original Chi-Chi, but also borrowing from Masako's Z-Fighter Chi-Chi story. She and Tien were childhood friends and he rejected her after she got kicked out of the Crane Hermit's school for being too soft, so she vowed to get stronger and learned magic from Fortuneteller Baba. Now, she's back for revenge.

Yes, I realize that's a lot of revenge motivation over these last parts, but don't most Dragon Ball villains want revenge on someone?

Roshi at one point hits on Chi-Chi and asks to see her...Chi-Chis...for which she magically bull-kicks him through several of the nearest wall. Her fight with Tien goes much the same as when she fought Goku in the original, and follows many of the "forgotten childhood friend" and "tsundere" trope beats in terms of dialogue. But of course, Tien is stupidly more powerful than her, and shows that he has changed as a person by dodging her, rather than the brutality he would have displayed earlier in the series. He also slowly comes to remember Chi-Chi through the course of their...fight?...and something of a chemistry begins to develop between them. It won't be instant romantic cheese, but the foundation is there to build something more.

Back in the present (after Hedo escaped from prison), Straps, Marin, and Bulla have their morning classes interrupted by the announcement of a new transfer student calling himself Tosu (a pun on Otto-suru, one of the Japanese words for "puke," so, yeah, it's Hedo using an alias). Unlike his movie version, though (where he "did his research" on Carmine and Magenta, but then took their words and doctored videos at face value like a moron because comedy and money), or his manga version (where he acted like a villain despite claiming to be a hero), this Hedo actually did thorough research on our heroes, and is acting more like a creepy Stan than a straight-up villain. The son of his favorite author, the granddaughter of his grandfather's greatest rival, and the sister of the man who arrested him, not only attend the same school, but are friends with one another? It's too surreal!

Speaking of surreal: "Hey!" A female voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "You're Tosu, right?" Hedo looked up to see a blue-haired girl smiling down at him. He grew flustered upon recognizing her, and snapped, "What do you want, Bulma‽"

"No!" She laughed and said, "Bulma is my mom's name. I'm Bulla. People say we look a lot alike. Honestly, I'm embarrassed by it. Can you believe she makes herself look younger with the Dra.... I mean, dry-based cosmetics she makes?" Bulla laughs off the fact that she almost revealed the Dragon Balls to a virtual stranger. "Talk about vanity, huh?"

Hedo gives her a bored look.

"Anyway, I noticed you don't have much for friends, and you're smart, and I'm smart, so...wanna be friends? Maybe even go to the school dance this weekend?"

This makes Hedo blush unexpectedly, though he quickly composes himself and remembers that he has a tactical purpose here. He needs to get closer to the group; plus, it would save him resources if he didn't have to build Beta-8. "Fine, Bul-la; I shall accept your friendship." He extends his hand for a formal shake like the awkward nerd that he is, and Bulla takes it.

"Great!" She shakes his hand, forgetting her strength in the moment and waggling him in the air like Goku shaking hands with Zeno, and then runs off. "Pick me up at Capsule Corp, 'kay‽ Nine PM Saturday or bust!"

"Very well, then, Miss Bulla!" He calls after her. Then, quietly: "Tentomaru!" The little ladybig droid appears and follows, attaching itself to Bulla's clothes.

Later that day, Hedo called up his wrist-mounted antenna array and watched Tentomaru's surveillance feed. Most of it was mundane, slice-of-life stuff that he fast-forwarded through out of boredom (and occasionally, out of embarrassment and propriety), but despite his extensive research on his classmates and their families, there were some things that managed to escape public knowledge. And when Hedo saw those secrets captured on film, he spat Qreoz crumbs halfway across the room. Right there, before his eyes, were his grandparents. Not only was he shocked to see them alive after all this time, but they looked just as he remembered them from his parents' old family photos. How did they still look so young?

Since he had no point of reference for the Dragon Balls, the only conclusion Hedo could draw from this was that this Kumu person who arrested him all those years ago was a plant by Capsule Corp. to steal his Alpha technology (the Zombie Androids he was using to staff his convenience stores when Kumu arrested him) so they could refine it and revive the Red Ribbon science team as Androids under their control. The corporate espionage! The brazen hypocrisy! The injustice!

Hedo's blood was boiling as he tromped down to his lab and continued his work on the Beta Series Androids. He would make Saturday a night to remember!

The next day, eight new transfer students joined the ranks of Blue Hal High School, and in the days leading up to the school dance, there was a lot of the usual, "creepy, new students that the audience suspects are evil, but the characters can't prove it" social warfare stuff (think Ken from Digimon), like "Tosu"'s change in demeanor towards Bulla, the new kids being suspiciously friendly and obedient towards him, the occasional cold stare or suggestive threat, their lack of ki.... None of the kids have a real reference for the Androids, not even Bulla, so they know something is up with the Betas, but have nothing concrete to act on, so no real fights happen.

At least, not until the night of the dance.

Though he had been cold towards Bulla for the last few days, Hedo had to keep up appearances, and it wasn't honorable to break his word to a girl, even if her parents were thieving, hypocritical corporate scum. So as he had promised, Hedo arrived to pick up Bulla from Capsule Corp in his best tuxedo (which made him look a bit like a short, rotund Gomez Addams). He was in for several shocks, however.

Not only did Bulla answer the door in the most beautiful dress he had ever seen in his life, his perspective on matters got even more complicated when she dragged him inside to meet her family. Bulma and Dr. Briefs were so kind and acommodating to him (though that Yamcha guy seemed like a freeloading jock) that he blew his cover five minutes into their conversation.

"Cut the sweetness act, you corporate frauds!" Hedo yelled, cutting off Dr. Briefs in the midst of an amusing anecdote about his wacky friend over in Penguin Village. "I know you stole my technology and used it to turn my grandparents into your mindless slaves!"

Naturally, this takes the garment family by surprise. Bulma, Bulla, and Yamcha look about ready to kick his ass for various personal reasons, but Dr. Briefs, being the calm one in the family, simply offers Hedo a tour.

"Would you like to meet them, Young Hedo?" Briefs asks him.

Confused by the sudden openness, and struggling with hesitation and haste in equal measure, Hedo agrees.

Shortly thereafter, he comes face-to-face with not only Gero and Vomi, but his Uncle Gevo, as well. Given the last information he uncovered about his family being die-hard Red Ribbon acolytes who gave their lives for the organization, Hedo doesn't immediately burst into tears at the sight of them, especially not his uncle. But it's clear from their behavior that they are neither mindless slaves, nor operating with any villainous intent.

Vomi even reassures her grandson of their status by sharing the story of their redemption, including the restorative powers of the Dragon Balls that allowed her to be reunited with her family. "And now, it seems," she says, looking on Hedo with tender awe, "that our family has grown once more."

Okay, this gets Hedo in tears.

But, you know that feeling you get when you're tens of miles away from home before you remember you left the stove on? Yeah; Hedo gets an "oh, crap!" moment when he remembers that he was going to have the Betas attack Capsule Corporation, and forgot to call it off.

An explosion rocks the outer walls of the building, shaking its foundations.

Bulma reacts immediately, turning on a view of the outside surveillance feeds, where she sees...a bunch of teenagers and a guy in a mech suit?

Hedo smacks his forehead. "Damn! I forgot the Betas were coming!"

"You forgot!?" Yamcha and Bulma shout at him in unison. Yamcha and Bulla gather their auras and glare at Hedo once more, who frantically waves his hands for them not to attack. "Wait! Wait!" he says. "I'm not your enemy anymore!"

"Oh, yeah?" says Bulla, feeling the most betrayed. "Then why are your goons attacking us?"

"I'm sorry, Bulla, all of you; I was planning to attack this place; to--I don't know!--rescue my family, bring Capsule Corp. to justice. But I was wrong, and I just...in all this emotion, it slipped my mind to call them off."

"Whatever;" Bulla says. "We'll deal with...whatever this is later." She rips off the bottom half of her dress, causing Hedo to blush and turn away. "Uncle Gev?"

"Yes, Miss Bulla?" Gevo responds.

"Would you get me that project we've been working on?"

Gevo smiles. "Right here, Miss Bulla." He hands her a briefcase (name puns!), and with thanks, she presses a button on its side. Instead of hinging open like a normal briefcase, it tessellates apart, taking on a vaguely humanoid shape (think the Iron Man 2 armor from the racetrack fight), and Bulla steps into it.

When the armor closes, it looks similar to Bulma's first Z-Fighter armor from one of Masako's What If series (which sorely needs a continuation, by the way!).

Bulma looks varying degrees of proud and jealous, Yamcha is shocked stupid, and Hedo thinks he just might actually have a crush on Bulla now.

"Dad?"

"Huh?" Hearing his daughter's voice booming authoritatively from the mech suit knocks Yamcha back to reality. "Y-yeah?"

"Lets go kick some Android butt!"

"Right!"

"I'm coming, too!" Hedo interjected. "Maybe I can get them to stop."

Bulla hesitates before agreeing, and the three of them head outside, with Gero, Vomi, Bulma, and Dr. Briefs following close behind.

"What's going on, Doctor?" asks Beta-1. "Conspiring with the enemy for the sake of some girl?"

"No!" Hedo responds. "My information was wrong, Beytah; you and the others need to stop now, before anyone gets hurt!"

Something sparks in Beytah's eyes as he processes this information; a logical inconsistency that conflicts with his programming. See, unlike in the manga, where the Beta series were fully autonomous, but loyal to Hedo, the ones here were a rush job with basic personality facades and a single, scheduled attack directive, all based on Hedo having been correct about Capsule Corp. being a villainous organization. So with the basis for their directive being categorized as false by their creator, who is never wrong....

Gero remembers this look all too well. It was the look of something murderous and mistreated and used, which is done being a tool for its maker.

"Hedo, look out!"

Beytah quickly raises a hand and brings it down in a chopping motion against Hedo's neck, and to everyone's surprise, the short-statured scientist tanks the blow with little effort.

"What...the--?" Beytah manages to vocalize through his faulty programming.

"Subdermal, nanometal enhancements," he explains. "I may not be physically strong, but did you really think I wouldn't prepare for my creations to turn against me? Now, go! Tentomaru! Hatchimaru!"

Despite the danger presented by being in close proximity to Beytah, Bulma practically drools over Hedo's shoulder at the sight of the antenna array manifesting from his wrist.

Bulla, on the other hand (who is trading blows with the Uncanny Valley Girl knowm as Beta-8) recognizes Tentomaru because it had been flying around her room a few nights ago. "You pervert!" she shouts in Hedo's direction, exploding with such rage that she crushes Beta-8's hands and flings her into orbit, the atmospheric boundary incinerating what remained of her body.

Hedo again waves his arms frantically, swearing on the name of "Fusion Sentai Patrollder" that he never peeped on her.

"You better not have!" Bulla threatens him. "Or not even your transdermal metallic whatever will be able to save you!"

"Uh, kids?" Yamcha says. "I'm kinda in a bind here!" Which he definitely is; Betas Three through Six are attacking him all at once, and though they don't seem that strong individually, four against one is too much. But....

"Dad? Don't you have Ultimate and Kaio-ken?"

"Oh, yeah. Duh." Yamcha powers up and immediately turns the fight around, blowing the four Androids back. He starts to charge a Spirit Ball, but Hedo has already activated his drones' Gattai Mode, combining them into Tenchimaru and sending it to deactivate the four Betas in a flash.

The only ones left now are Beytah, Battle Jacket Two, and the Elvis-inspired Beta-7, who looks All Shook Up at having seen five of his band members retired so quickly. He tries to make a run for it, but Beytah casually shoots him in the back with a ray blaster before leveling it at Hedo. "No...more...deserters. No...more...betrayal. No...false...justice!" Before he can fire, though, Bulla steps in and knocks the gun from his hand, allowing Hedo time to deactivate him and Two with Tenchimaru.

"That was close!" Bulla says, looking down at Hedo with a relieved smile.

"Agreed...and again, I am sorry. And...thank you." He smiles back at her, trying again not to blush at how beautiful and smart and cool he thinks she is.

Just like at the end of Super Hero, Bulma geeks out about Hedo's nanometal skin enhancer and offers him a job at Capsule Corp. But also, there is the matter of the deactivated Betas, and Hedo asks if he could possibly use them and Capsule resources to build the Gamma series he's been conceptualizing.

"Heroic Androids, huh?" Bulma thinks. "That'd certainly be something new. Okay, kid; you got a deal!" They shake on it. "By the way, don't you owe my daughter a dance?"

Hedo blushes, twiddling his thumbs and trying to conceal it with an excuse: "but...the dance will be over by the time we get there."

"The place doesn't matter," says Bulma, pulling a remote out of her pocket. "It's the mood that counts." She pushes a button, and suddenly there's a disco ball hanging from the ceiling and romantic music emanating from the surveillance center speakers. Bulma also gives Hedo a push, and he stumbles awkwardly towards Bulla, who is still wearing her powered suit.

"Miss Bulla?" Hedo asks tentatively. "May I have this dance?"

Bulla looks over at her mother and father; the former grinning like an overly optimistic idiot, and the latter giving Hedo that "I wanna show you my gun collection" glare. "Nah."

Hedo looks at her, as relieved as he is disappointed.

"I have a better idea." Bulla continues: "how about we go up to my room and watch 'Fusion Sentai Patrollder' instead?"

Set Hedo's face to dumbfounded.

"I know it's kinda vain of me cuz we consult on the show, but--."

"No!" Hedo exclaims, clearing his throat. "I mean, yes; it's actually my favorite show...."

"Cool! Let's go!" As she has made a habit of doing, Bulla takes Hedo's hand and drags him off behind her. "Mom! Dad! Hedo and I are gonna 'Shout & Chill' in my room, okay!?"

Hedo can hear a fading, "Like Hell you are!" from Yamcha, but thanks to Bulma's stubborn streak and self-identified matchmaking skills, she is able to talk her husband out of his lunatic impulses. He still goes upstairs to "bring the kids some snacks" (a.k.a. spy on the boy), but the evening ends with everything coming up Hedo.

He has been reunited with his family, gotten a job he enjoys, and spent time watching his favorite show with his new crush.

There will be further adventures in the next part, but for now, I think this is a good, happy place to end things. Let me know in the comments what you thought of this part, and remember to like, subscribe, and follow me on Tumblr, Reddit, and Facebook for the latest news on my content. I also have a Bardock side-story in the works, so Stay Tuned for that some time in the next two weeks. Also, because the GFT Retrospective and Zenescope - Omnibusted content is also throwback material, tomorrow's TBT 2023 push (on the above social platforms) for Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy will be accompanied by a mostly new Omnibusted review of the Inferno miniseries.

Thanks for reading,

Happy Birthday to everyone else with my birthday, and

Sean Wilkinson,

Out!