Just the Ticket #103: Quick or Treat?

Happy Halloween, Ticketholders!

And because it's Halloween, I'd like to take a moment to do some Critical Quickies on a few frightening things I've been watching on Netflix.

Stranger Things--Winona Ryder (Beetlejuice), David Harbor (the upcoming Hellboy reboot), Finn Wolfhard (this year's It remake). A kid goes missing and uses Christmas lights as a Ouija board, a monster gets loose, a girl with psychic powers steals waffles, Winona Ryder can act, finally, and Matthew Modine (47 Meters Down) is creepy as all hell, except that when the show gets there, Hell (or Negative Earth, the Upside Down, The Vale of Shadows,...) is a lot creepier. An homage to 1980's coming-of-age horror movies and Stephen King that does both justice, appeals to a broad audience without pandering, and just has a cool, engaging story. The only thing wrong with it (that was also probably an executive decision to preserve said near-perfect quality) is that it was only eight episodes. I have yet to watch the nine-episode second season, but I'm dying of anticipation.

A-

Slasher-- Katie McGrath (Supergirl), Brandon Jay McLaren (Power Rangers: SPD), Dean McDermott (Tori & Dean). I am halfway through the first season, in which the survivor of a thirty-year-old killing spree returns home as an adult and becomes the Sydney Prescott of her own personal Scream scenario. The series crams in every possible slasher movie trope (the black couple alone in the woods, people having sex, the "you're all doomed!" character, the prankster, "I'll be right back," etc.), but makes them interesting by delivering on almost none of them. Like Stranger Things, this anthology series is well crafted and engaging, even though some of the actors (like the self-important McDermott) drag the production's appeal down a peg or two.

B+

Teeth-- John Hensley (Nip/Tuck). This one, I saw based on the premise alone, not really knowing what level of sensationalism it would go to, and not really knowing by the end if my undefined expectations were met. Only that I felt a certain way after watching it. This movie takes the horror movie trope of "you have sex, you die," and turns the wrong direction at Albuquerque. A girl who's a prominent speaker for a comically cult-like virginity-preservation group in her community finds out that her vagina has shark-like teeth. Yeah. That's a thing, apparently. It doesn't go in the Idle Hands direction, nor does it immediately go into deliberate femme fatale, soft-core pornography territory, although an R-rated number of sex scenes are present in the movie.  It remains subtly ludicrous and overtly gory while keeping the sexual aspects of its production mostly tasteful, thereby, um, deepening the suspense. Pun not intended, I was ultimately turned off by Teeth. The one direction the film goes in that it should not have is hinting at the idea of Teeth as a monster movie, wherein the only course of "conquering" said monster is sexually, i.e.: through rape. No, no, no, and no. Just....NO!

F

Tomorrow, the Retrospective returns, so tune in.

Ticketmaster,

out.