NPO #4: The Grain

This is a poem/rap/whatever that I wrote after I graduated college and left my job at Ralph's (that's Fred Meyer up here in the Northwest), when I was feeling stuck, hopeless, directionless, and generally displeased with myself for how I treated both my professional and academic lives. I think I was staring at an hourglass or one of those perpetual motion oil bead/lava lamp things, and I felt inspired to work through my feelings creatively. So here it is:

"The Grain"

Ladies and Gentlemen,

Boys and Girls

who would feel His voice

flow over us and leave pearls

of wisdom

like we were polished by a river,

but we can't take the current

though we love that He's a giver.

So we revel in His music

as we live in the past,

looking for our future

as it passes too fast

and turns to present;

the gift we all squander,

watching it slip away

(as we all ramble and wander)

through our dumbly splayed

fingers,

We try like hell to save

the one grain that lingers;

clenching our fists,

we grit our teeth and fight

to turn back our watches

and set ourselves right.

Again, we bite

our tongues 

to help distract from the pain

we feel when we convince ourselves

we battle in vain,

losing that grain

through the glass that is

the days of our lives,

we try to end it slow

with booze and pills

or quickly with knives

and guns.

But as we look into

the face that is death,

we feel the hope and love

that come 

from those of us

whom we would have left

behind us,

and find the grain 

that we all thought we had lost.

It was life we lived and struggled for,

whatever the cost.

Such a thing is priceless, well

worth every pleasure and hurt

whether you believe in Heaven, Hell,

or boxes in dirt.

So when you hit rock bottom,

remember where you have been,

or you will start that vicious cycle all over again.

                               -Sean Wilkinson

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Also, stay tuned for another Ticketverse Throwback later tonight.