Ticket Stubs #36: Angered Critic - The Bludgeoning of Ron Burgandy
In dishonor of the upcoming DVD release of Anchorman 2: The Legend Continues, which in a far more unstable state of mind I would have resorted to acts of domestic terrorism to prevent the conception of, Ticket Stubs now brings you this vicious review of the original Anchorman straight FROM February 8, 2005 (SW@ Ticket #32: Angered Critic - The Bludgeoning of Ron Burgandy, Employee of the Month): Today, we @ GOM & SW@ Ticket examine the two latest films in Christina Applegate's slowly declining career as an actress who just happens to be blolnde and have relatively large boobs.
First and least impressive (compared to pretty much all other movies that have been made thus far) is Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy. Claiming to be based on a true story is the film and filmmaker's first mistake. Supposedly, Ron Burgandy (name changed to protect the ignorant--I mean "innocent"--actually, I mean "ignorant") was a real 1970s news anchor at the #1--because Ron Burgandy (or rather, the man this moronic character is based on) is such a legend that he carried the station to being the #1 news station in America--nay, in the World, just to blow this movie a little more out of proportion.
At first glance, what I call 21st century comedy appears to be a slight exaggeration of office space humor. But as the movie regresses and the "romantic" "relationship" between Ron (Will Ferrel, adding to the overall obnoxiousness of the piece in lude, annoying, monotonous, childish ways) and his female competition (Christina Applegate, unable to decide or distinguish between being the no-nonsense newswoman she is supposed to play and the Married With Children bimbo she used to play) develops, things just get stupider and stupider.
There is a dog who survives being thrown off a very high bridge and talks nonsense to bears as though he met them on some pot-inspired vision quest. There is a Braveheart-style battle royale between all the news stations where people are burned alive, decapitated, amputated, gutted, and generally mutilated, only to be perfectly fine in the next frame. There is a retarded weatherman, an ubermacho Texas reporter who thinks puke is funny, and so much other stupid crap that I wouldn't piss on it to put it out. Great cameos by Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and tons of others. But that just makes Anchorman into another horrible, worthless movie that could not be saved from dying in its own stench by the superstars driving it.
F-
SW@,
out.
I'll save the Employee of the Month review for next time, but until then (or until I get the shading right on my latest contribution to Heroes Are Made), stay tuned for more Ticket Stubs and heroes from my head.
First and least impressive (compared to pretty much all other movies that have been made thus far) is Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy. Claiming to be based on a true story is the film and filmmaker's first mistake. Supposedly, Ron Burgandy (name changed to protect the ignorant--I mean "innocent"--actually, I mean "ignorant") was a real 1970s news anchor at the #1--because Ron Burgandy (or rather, the man this moronic character is based on) is such a legend that he carried the station to being the #1 news station in America--nay, in the World, just to blow this movie a little more out of proportion.
At first glance, what I call 21st century comedy appears to be a slight exaggeration of office space humor. But as the movie regresses and the "romantic" "relationship" between Ron (Will Ferrel, adding to the overall obnoxiousness of the piece in lude, annoying, monotonous, childish ways) and his female competition (Christina Applegate, unable to decide or distinguish between being the no-nonsense newswoman she is supposed to play and the Married With Children bimbo she used to play) develops, things just get stupider and stupider.
There is a dog who survives being thrown off a very high bridge and talks nonsense to bears as though he met them on some pot-inspired vision quest. There is a Braveheart-style battle royale between all the news stations where people are burned alive, decapitated, amputated, gutted, and generally mutilated, only to be perfectly fine in the next frame. There is a retarded weatherman, an ubermacho Texas reporter who thinks puke is funny, and so much other stupid crap that I wouldn't piss on it to put it out. Great cameos by Jack Black, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, and tons of others. But that just makes Anchorman into another horrible, worthless movie that could not be saved from dying in its own stench by the superstars driving it.
F-
SW@,
out.
I'll save the Employee of the Month review for next time, but until then (or until I get the shading right on my latest contribution to Heroes Are Made), stay tuned for more Ticket Stubs and heroes from my head.
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