Just the Ticket #89: True Lies and Critical Quickies
This issue deals with what turned out to be a collection of films that were true stories of people who lied or were lied to, hence the title's use of True Lies. No review of the 90's Schwarzenegger spy action/comedy shall be found if you are arriving here via a series of relevant search words, so if you feel lied to, re-read the first sentence because therein lies the truth, and that's no lie.
Saving Mr. Banks: Tom Hanks, Emma Thompson, Colin Farrell--A movie about making a Disney musical for people who hate Disney musicals (like Emma Thompson's P.L. Travers, who wrote the books that inspired Mary Poppins). Hanks brings himself entire to his portrayal of Walt Disney, being insufferably optimistic in the face of Thompson's insufferable insufferability, and the folks at Disney succeed, in their usual style of modern, desperate nostalgia, at turning out another combination of uplifting origin story and Disneyland showcase. Enjoyable despite, and because of, itself.
C+
Wolf of Wall Street: Leonardo Di Caprio, Jonah Hill, Matthew McConaughey--Directed by Martin Scorcese and based on the true story of Wall Street sensation Jordan Belfort (Di Caprio), this movie tells you why you should never trust stock tips, why you should never trust your luxury yacht to a guy named Captain Ted, why you should never take expired quaaludes (the fact that the name needs two consecutive a's is bad enough, expired or not), and why you should never get on large boats with Leonardo Di Caprio. Though its running time is exactly three hours, Wolf packs in enough fast-paced, drug-fueled Wall Street shenanigans, hookers, federal investigations, and sheer personality (Di Caprio alone is worth three hours of my time) to keep the average movie aficionado awake and aware without the use of narcotics.
Chocolate bars and powdered donuts not included.
A-
American Hustle: Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Amy Adams--American Hustle, by David O. Russell, did very little to flex my brain muscle. Confidence men again and again sell dollars to marks who leave scratching their chins, 'til the cons and the feds put together their heads and get in so deep that they might end up dead. Through combovers crude and language so rude, many a person gets epically screwed, but an hour or more after building the score, I found that I knew who'd get epically screwed when the movie did come through my door.
B+
Delivery Man: Vince Vaughn--Vaughn gets off (pun partially intended) far too easily as "Starbuck," the loser, sperm donor father of over 500 children, who stalks and befriends each of the hundred-plus baster babies who are pursuing a legal class action to challenge his donor anonymity. Though billed as a comedy, the film is so inconsistent in tone that if there were any dramatic third act resolution, it got lost in the five-finger shuffle, and any laughs are too premature and fleeting to give birth to anything substantial. Don't be in a hurry to jerk this one off the shelf.
C-
I should have my next character ready for Heroes Are Made very soon. Until then, good night and stay tuned.
Saving Mr. Banks: Tom Hanks, Emma Thompson, Colin Farrell--A movie about making a Disney musical for people who hate Disney musicals (like Emma Thompson's P.L. Travers, who wrote the books that inspired Mary Poppins). Hanks brings himself entire to his portrayal of Walt Disney, being insufferably optimistic in the face of Thompson's insufferable insufferability, and the folks at Disney succeed, in their usual style of modern, desperate nostalgia, at turning out another combination of uplifting origin story and Disneyland showcase. Enjoyable despite, and because of, itself.
C+
Wolf of Wall Street: Leonardo Di Caprio, Jonah Hill, Matthew McConaughey--Directed by Martin Scorcese and based on the true story of Wall Street sensation Jordan Belfort (Di Caprio), this movie tells you why you should never trust stock tips, why you should never trust your luxury yacht to a guy named Captain Ted, why you should never take expired quaaludes (the fact that the name needs two consecutive a's is bad enough, expired or not), and why you should never get on large boats with Leonardo Di Caprio. Though its running time is exactly three hours, Wolf packs in enough fast-paced, drug-fueled Wall Street shenanigans, hookers, federal investigations, and sheer personality (Di Caprio alone is worth three hours of my time) to keep the average movie aficionado awake and aware without the use of narcotics.
Chocolate bars and powdered donuts not included.
A-
American Hustle: Christian Bale, Bradley Cooper, Jennifer Lawrence, Amy Adams--American Hustle, by David O. Russell, did very little to flex my brain muscle. Confidence men again and again sell dollars to marks who leave scratching their chins, 'til the cons and the feds put together their heads and get in so deep that they might end up dead. Through combovers crude and language so rude, many a person gets epically screwed, but an hour or more after building the score, I found that I knew who'd get epically screwed when the movie did come through my door.
B+
Delivery Man: Vince Vaughn--Vaughn gets off (pun partially intended) far too easily as "Starbuck," the loser, sperm donor father of over 500 children, who stalks and befriends each of the hundred-plus baster babies who are pursuing a legal class action to challenge his donor anonymity. Though billed as a comedy, the film is so inconsistent in tone that if there were any dramatic third act resolution, it got lost in the five-finger shuffle, and any laughs are too premature and fleeting to give birth to anything substantial. Don't be in a hurry to jerk this one off the shelf.
C-
I should have my next character ready for Heroes Are Made very soon. Until then, good night and stay tuned.
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