Just the Ticket #45: Of Mars and Men
Tell me about the rabbits, George. As it turns out, I'm not cut out for back-breaking farm labor (by the way, why is it that if you're cut out for a kind of work, it's easier for you, but having your work cut out for you makes it harder? Anyone? Beuller? Anyone?). Yesterday's work load consisted of heavy lifting unlike any I had ever experienced. In teams of two, we would make stacks of six 10ft steel posts, prop them up on our shoulders, carry them an eighth of a mile uphill, carry them another eighth of a mile down rows of loose, rocky soil unloading them one at a time, then walk back and do it again. After three hours of that, both of my shoulders were almost injured. After four hours, I was ready to fall down and my arms had gone stupid. By the sixth hour of work, I was still having a hard time standing and using my shoulders, and my nerves were so shot that my middle fingers were curling up all by themselves. By the time another half hour had passed, my thighs had cramped up. In that time, I also had shallow cuts on my right wrist, most of my fingers, and both arms, and had been whacked in the neck by a misbehaving post. So I am back to looking for a job and writing reviews as often as I can.
Today's review is the latest live-action epic from Disney, John Carter, based on the book series John Carter of Mars by Edgar Rice Burroughs. In the movie, Burroughs (Daryl Sabara, most recently known for his voice work as Generator Rex) is written to be Carter's nephew, who is in turn basing his book series on his uncle's journal writings.
Flashing back by virtue of the journals and voice-over narration, we find John Carter (Taylor Kitsch, NBC's Friday Night Lights), a deserter in the Civil War who finds himself transported to Mars. Were people even that good-looking in the 1860's? Never mind that. Had guyliner even been invented yet? I don't think so.
In a reverse-Superman kind of twist, Carter gains enhanced strength and jumping ability when he arrives on Mars (more of a Superboy twist, actually, since he can't fly, has no vision or breath powers, and lacks super speed, but that's just a bunch of nerdy technicalities), and uses his newfound power to help bring peace to the planet.
Lending a hand are a race of "little green men" (who are twice the size of humans and sport wicked walrus tusks and an extra pair of arms), voiced by such actors as ex-Spidey villains Thomas Haden Church and Willem Dafoe, and (a sign of the Disney of the 21st century) a beautiful, scantily clad Blue Martian princess (played by True Blood's Lynn Collins, who also worked with Kitsch on X-Men Origins: Wolverine).
The villains are a humanoid race of Martians--the Red--led by typecast evildoers Dominic West (Punisher: War Zone) and Mark Strong (Green Lantern), who plan to conquer the five Martian tribes and ultimately to turn Mars into the red wasteland we know of today.
Despite the new, too-mature face of Disney (partial nudity, sexual tension, beheadings, brandings, geysers of blue blood flying every which way), I enjoyed the many details that the film's creators injected into the digital effects-ridden production. The Tharks (the above-mentioned green men), though they run and caper like Woody and Buzz trying to escape the incinerator (enter the voice of writer/director Andrew Stanton, a go-to guy for producing hit Pixar films), are in appearance well-rendered. Every brand, tattoo, and broken tusk has a place and a purpose (especially the tusks, which the male Tharks use in dominance displays, much the same way as buffalo or deer do). The "big white apes" are even more impressive, showing every shaggy hair waving in the wind and every bump and drop of spittle on its tongue in clear, if obviously digital, detail.
As for the "red men" (a general term for the humanoid Martians because of their skin color), their tattoos are even more intricate than those on the Tharks, and their polytheistic warrior-scientist culture is very similar to our ancient Greeks and Romans. The story even borrows from the Civil War and hints at John Carter as a large-scale Dances With Wolves-meets-Spartacus (John Carter escaped the war between our Union and Confederate armies only to find himself caught in the middle of Mars' Red versus Blue feud as he enlists the help of the Tharks, the Martian equivalent, I think, of that era's native American tribes, to fight the impending damnation that comes with "progress").
It's a story we've seen before with less audience-related pretense, better pacing, and greater effects quality in James Cameron's Avatar, but was still enjoyable in spite of itself.
B-
Next issue is a return to Giovanni Ribisi with the small-screen thriller Columbus Circle. Stay tuned. I'll see you again down the river.
Flashing back by virtue of the journals and voice-over narration, we find John Carter (Taylor Kitsch, NBC's Friday Night Lights), a deserter in the Civil War who finds himself transported to Mars. Were people even that good-looking in the 1860's? Never mind that. Had guyliner even been invented yet? I don't think so.
In a reverse-Superman kind of twist, Carter gains enhanced strength and jumping ability when he arrives on Mars (more of a Superboy twist, actually, since he can't fly, has no vision or breath powers, and lacks super speed, but that's just a bunch of nerdy technicalities), and uses his newfound power to help bring peace to the planet.
Lending a hand are a race of "little green men" (who are twice the size of humans and sport wicked walrus tusks and an extra pair of arms), voiced by such actors as ex-Spidey villains Thomas Haden Church and Willem Dafoe, and (a sign of the Disney of the 21st century) a beautiful, scantily clad Blue Martian princess (played by True Blood's Lynn Collins, who also worked with Kitsch on X-Men Origins: Wolverine).
The villains are a humanoid race of Martians--the Red--led by typecast evildoers Dominic West (Punisher: War Zone) and Mark Strong (Green Lantern), who plan to conquer the five Martian tribes and ultimately to turn Mars into the red wasteland we know of today.
Despite the new, too-mature face of Disney (partial nudity, sexual tension, beheadings, brandings, geysers of blue blood flying every which way), I enjoyed the many details that the film's creators injected into the digital effects-ridden production. The Tharks (the above-mentioned green men), though they run and caper like Woody and Buzz trying to escape the incinerator (enter the voice of writer/director Andrew Stanton, a go-to guy for producing hit Pixar films), are in appearance well-rendered. Every brand, tattoo, and broken tusk has a place and a purpose (especially the tusks, which the male Tharks use in dominance displays, much the same way as buffalo or deer do). The "big white apes" are even more impressive, showing every shaggy hair waving in the wind and every bump and drop of spittle on its tongue in clear, if obviously digital, detail.
As for the "red men" (a general term for the humanoid Martians because of their skin color), their tattoos are even more intricate than those on the Tharks, and their polytheistic warrior-scientist culture is very similar to our ancient Greeks and Romans. The story even borrows from the Civil War and hints at John Carter as a large-scale Dances With Wolves-meets-Spartacus (John Carter escaped the war between our Union and Confederate armies only to find himself caught in the middle of Mars' Red versus Blue feud as he enlists the help of the Tharks, the Martian equivalent, I think, of that era's native American tribes, to fight the impending damnation that comes with "progress").
It's a story we've seen before with less audience-related pretense, better pacing, and greater effects quality in James Cameron's Avatar, but was still enjoyable in spite of itself.
B-
Next issue is a return to Giovanni Ribisi with the small-screen thriller Columbus Circle. Stay tuned. I'll see you again down the river.
Comments
Post a Comment