Just the Ticket #116: Rob Zombie's The Munsters

Article by Sean Wilkinson,

a.k.a. The Ticket-Munster

What's up, Film Creeps? It's time to dig through the ditches and burn through the witches because Rob Zombie's movie adaptation/reboot thing of The Munsters is out now on Netflix, and I'm going to review it today!

If you didn't know, The Munsters was a black-and-white sitcom from the 1960s that tried to answer the question of "what if The Addams Family were The Beverly Hillbillies?" as it takes a family of Universal Monster-inspired characters and transplants them to a Hollywood-adjacent neighborhood on the fictional street of Mockingbird Lane.

There was even an abandoned attempt at modernizing the Munsters IP in 2012 with the pilot (and series finale) of NBC's Mockingbird Lane, trying to capitalize on the suburban weirdness and epic supernatural scale of popular competitor shows like ABC's Desperate Housewives, Lost, and Once Upon A Time. Rather than looking like movie monsters, the Munster family of Mockingbird Lane were normal-on-the-outside-strange-on-the-inside people, with Herman Munster reimagined as a clockwork human played by Jerry "Sliders" O'Connell, Portia de Generes as Lily Dracula-Munster, Mason Cook of the Spy Kids franchise as a pre-pubescent Eddie Munster (a werewolf in the original series), Eddie "Cake or Death?" Izzard as Grandpa Munster, and British actress Charity Wakefield as Marylin Munster, the "grounding" human member of the family. Had the concept been continued as a full series, there were plans to create a shared universe with longer-lived (but still prematurely canceled) "Bad Hat Harry" series, Wonderfalls and Pushing Daisies. As a fan of Izzard's acting (FX was airing the Gypsy con-family drama, The Riches at the time) and comedy, I was drawn to Mockingbird Lane on their name recognition alone, and was disappointed to tune in after Grimm the following week and discover the series had not been picked up. Perhaps it was too different from the original Munsters series? I didn't know it was based on The Munsters until the episode was over and my parents made the connection for me.

Speaking of the original, the theme song for The Munsters was sampled in "Uma Thurman" by the band Fall Out Boy, and its influences can be heard in "Agatha All Along" from the Marvel/Disney+ series, WandaVision (don't expect a list of links to that because I want you all to read my review instead). To avoid what few spoilers there are, go to Netflix at the link above and watch the movie for yourselves, if you so desire, like and comment down below, and let's get to the image break....

I'd like to preface this review by saying that my exposure to the original series is virtually none. I've seen enough in passing to be aware that The Munsters (1964) was a thing, and to recognize the characters by appearance if nothing else. All of my opinions are strictly in-the-moment reactions that I had as I watched, and are not meant to be taken as expert, comparative analysis between the series and Rob Zombie's film reboot.

Coming into the film almost blind, and with Rob Zombie's other films as my only point of reference, I expected The Munsters (2022) to be excessively bloody, violent, dark, insane, and for Zombie to include dialogue in which some male character calls his wife's character (Sherri Moon Zombie is to her husband what Bruce Campbell was to Sam Raimi or what Stephen King and Quentin Tarantino are to themselves) a "stupid, fucking bitch" numerous times. Seriously, what is going on in their real-world relationship?

Other than that, I had no idea what Rob Zombie would do with (or to) the franchise. I didn't even know (even though it's the biggest Rob Zombie hit of all time) that "Dragula" (the lyrics of which I referenced in the opening up above) was named after Grandpa Munster's racecar. So imagine my surprise when I began--and continued--watching The Munsters, and I was greeted with vibrant, cartoonish lighting, intentionally bad special effects, wild and wacky shot composition, obviously tender reverence for classic horror films, retro-terrible line reads, and a family-friendly, dad joke-laden (if otherwise safe) "TV pilot." I can't speak to whether Zombie's film is authentic to the identity of the original series, but it definitely feels like Zombie did his fanboy director damned-est to make it authentic. Like, he didn't try to put a modern twist on it like Mockingbird Lane, he didn't try to make it "culturally representative," and he didn't try to make The Munsters a Rob Zombie film; he let The Munsters be The Munsters and used everything in his toolbox to capture that. And while I don't have much of a reference point for The Munsters, old sitcoms like I Love Lucy, The Andy Griffith Show, and The Honeymooners were as much a part of my childhood as Saturday morning cartoons were, and Zombie's film definitely has that old sitcom feel, right down to the dumb, but smartly written jokes, mundane awkward silences, theatrical line deliveries, and cost-cutting measures like having actors play multiple characters.

Case in point, B-movie regular and frequent Zombie collaborator Richard Brake chews scenery double-time as Dr. Wolfgang (the Frankenstein stand-in who created Herman) and channeling his inner Nosferatu as Lily Munster's (Sherri Moon Zombie, who also plays a newscaster on Grandpa's television in an early scene) awful date, Count Orlock. Grandpa Munster's actor, Daniel Roebuck (one of the Barrel Girls Killers in the fifth season of Dexter), dons a bulbous fake nose as a late-night talk show host (whose show is where Lily first sets eyes on Herman). And a reboot wouldn't be a reboot if there weren't some original cast members returning (Eddie Munster's original actor voices a crude-looking robot at Lily and Herman's wedding) or cameos by horror icons (Elvira's actress has a few scenes as the Munsters' realtor in California.

On the performances, they also feel authentic to the period (if not entirely to what little I remember of the original characters). Jeff Daniel Phillips, another frequent Zombie collaborator, is notably more scenery hungry than Brake, rattling off hilariously awful jokes, pulling Jim Carrey-esque faces, doing impressions, and wearing a budget- stretching variety of outfits that seemingly change on a scene-by-scene basis and look utterly ridiculous. Behind his Grandpa Munster makeup, Daniel Roebuck can often be mistaken for Albert Brooks on his voice alone. And Sherri Moon Zombie...basically does an impression of WandaVision episode 1 & 2 Elizabeth Olsen, but with a constant, Devil-may-care tone and an annoying amount of gropey reaching, like Blofeld's cat is trying to get away from her and she still hasn't gotten the message two hours later. Eddie, for some reason (maybe so the plot can happen, such as there tries to be one) is a jive-talking screw-up who's deep in debt to his Gypsy ex-grandmother. Aside from the monotonous portrayal that Sherri Moon Zombie gives to Lily, Eddie is my least favorite character. Oh, and speaking of Lost as I did in passing several paragraphs ago, Jorge Garcia plays Floop (the Igor stand-in to Brake's Dr. Wolfgang, not to be confused with Grandpa's bat/butler, Igor, who is played here by late-80s Doctor Who, Sylvester McCoy). He names Herman and bumbles around like a good comedy sidekick, and that's about it.

Speaking of the plot and "and that's about it," the plot, "such as there tries to be one" (me, above--heh, academic citation...), Wolfgang and Floop Frankenstein Herman to life (not realizing they inserted the brain of a failed comedian instead of his super-genius brother) while Lily is having the worst date ever with Count Orlock, but she later sees Herman on TV and falls madly in love. Later, Eddie introduces Lily to Herman (who has a similar reaction to her) at the "Zombie" club (in addition to the wild, House Of 1000 Corpses cinematography peppered throughout, and the familiar cast members, the Rob Zombie product placement in this sequence screams that this is a Rob Zombie film. The cover of Herman's comedy-metal album even looks like a Rob Zombie album cover--that's right, Herman has a budding comedy-metal career when he meets Lily in this movie). Brief, father-hates-daughter's-new-boyfriend animosity ensues for a bit, but after far too much origin story content, conflict arises. And if you've seen Beetlejuice, Casper, Addams Family Values, or any other horror comedy where a greedy, cartoonish villain tries to steal someone's house, you know by now that Grandpa's ex-wife is extorting Eddie to get her the Munster Mansion as revenge for Grandpa dumping her. A weak "liar revealed" story ensues as Eddie talks Herman into signing the mansion's deed away before he and Lily are married (which should invalidate his supposed joint vested interest in the property, or at least have co-signer security that also requires Lily's signature, but the movie needs to keep happening and Perry Mason was the established legal precedent of that era, so who needs accurate contract law?) and Herman lies to Lily by prolonged omission until Grandpa finds out they're homeless and comes to confront Herman about it. And there is no third act break-up. Nothing plot significant comes of this. Not even the Saul Goodman-est lawyer in Transylvania can do anything to fix it, apparently. 

🎶So they packed up their Koach and they moved to Beverly. Hills that is. Mockingbird Lane. Halloween. 🎶 

Also, Elvira just gives them the Psycho house at 1313 Mockingbird Lane, Eddie wins millions with his escrow money in Vegas, "and that's about it" (me, above).

Rob Zombie's The Munsters is a clinically passionate fan-letter to the series, but its painfully predictable half-plots and feature-length runtime make it feel like a bizarre SNL skit that has lingered far too long after getting its initial premise across (a Halloween episode of "The Californians" guest-starring David S. Pumpkins, for example). Take ironic pleasure in the macabre puns, note the few standout performances (Brake, McCoy, and Phillips), and enjoy Zombie's directorial flair and horror fanboying if you have an eye for that sort of thing like I do. It's one of those movies that you should watch out of curiosity that isn't an entirely painful experience (on the contrary, it had just enough well-placed "best medicine" moments to keep me engaged), but should only be experienced once. Whether that becomes a "just so I can say I did" point for you is up to you. I'm not having much actual fun at actual work, so relative fun at sorta-work gets a

C+

Ticket-Munster's Note: I had a few other Rob Zombie puns and references in mind, such as saying that Herman was given life by a Thunderkiss or that he's "More Human Than Human," or referring to Lily as a "Living Dead Girl," but I forgot until now, so there you go.

That little Beverly Hillbillies reference between the purple notes reminds me of an old radio contest I listened to in San Diego. Listeners would call into the show, and instead of getting a free t-shirt or a gift card for reciting "the phrase that pays" or whatever, the hosts would ask, "What is the first thing you know?" Most of the answers were biological functions like breathing or blinking, and eventually the answers got deep and existential like "nothing" or "darkness" or just that "what" is the first thing you know because maybe you start by questioning everything. But you know what? They were all wrong. And do you know why? It's because,🎶well, the first thing you know, ol' Jed's a millionaire....🎶 So let me know in the comments if your kinfolk said to stay away from stupid anecdotes and references to TV shows that were popular more than thirty years before you were born. And stay tuned for an Anime Spotlight on Shadows' House, and maybe a Just the Ticket or Ticket Stubs on...something. A Jeepers Creepers reboot came out this year, so maybe I'll do a big, series-spanning post on that for Halloween instead of subjecting myself to weekly Chucky articles again. I'm definitely going to give it a watch; I'm just not going to impose soul-crushing deadlines on myself like I did last year. That leads to stupor-induced erroneous content and toxic fan backlash, which I really don't need. So, yeah. I have a plan. Maybe other plans, too. But definitely the one. So stay tuned, and

Ticket-Munster,

Out.