Cover Charge #3: Grimm Fairy Tales
As I work on my Elemental Witches series of characters through Heromachine, I have been reading Zenescope Entertainment's Grimm Fairy Tales comic book series as a means of finding inspiration. Following the order of release found here, I have just finished reading Unleashed #0 - The Game, and I thought I would provide you with a review of the "Grimm Universe" thus far.
Each seductive, pin-up-quality cover of Grimm Fairy Tales hides a portion of the story of Sela Mathers, a literature professor in possession of a mysterious book of fairy tales which she uses to try to help select people she comes across, in a moral-of-the-month kind of format. Eventually, we find out Sela isn't the only person with a book of fairy tales. Belinda, a long-time rival of Sela's, is using her own book to recruit an army of special humans under the banner of her employer, a devil-like being called "The Dark One." Unbeknownst to Sela, Belinda has repeatedly manipulated her into helping with this evil endeavor. Events between GFT #16 - Little Miss Muffet (a nonsensical throwaway psych trip all by itself) and GFT #22 - The Snow Queen make little sense, but when Sela dies at the end of GFT #24 - Snow White and Rose Red Part 2, things get interesting as the series puts Belinda in the spotlight and introduces the characters Erica (The Little Mermaid) and Mercy (last name Dante, as in the author who wrote himself through the circles of Hell), causing the reader to gradually lose hope in the face of issue after issue of murder and Belinda's successful efforts to corrupt her targets. This trend of disappointment continues through Sela's resurrection in the land of Myst at the hands of Death, and Cindy (a Cinderella-based character corrupted by the unwitting Sela in the series' second issue) embracing her bloodthirsty nature. The series eventually expands to a cosmic level, revealing that Neverland, Wonderland, Oz, and the fairy tale realm of Myst, are real, and that Sela's book is the key that links these four "realms of power" to Earth. When she is forced to destroy the book to thwart the Dark One's invasion of Earth, Sela is sadly written into a constant self-pitying damsel-in-distress role as she travels Myst in search of her true love (a nutcracker prince name Erik she met in the first Christmas issue). Sela's search takes her through orc-besieged villages, Mother Nature's garden, and the gates of Limbo, where she learns from the Queen of Limbo (who may or may not have had a vendetta against Sinbad in a past life, under a slightly different name) that she and Erik had a daughter, who is under the care and influence of the power-hungry "goddess" Venus. Sela's efforts to get back to Earth and reunite with her daughter turn violent, leading to my favorite story arc thus far: The Lockdown, in which Sela finds herself in a maximum security prison that is more than it seems. At times confusing (especially with regard to the true chronological order of the issues), suffering from the occasional missed (or misspelled) word, and thus far having announced no less than three unrealized series
----Grimm Tales: An origin story of sorts for series regular and favorite Samantha Darren (as in the old Bewitched TV series), a disciple and friend of Sela's whom Sela sacrificed herself to save at the end of the Rose Red two-parter.
----Inferno - Soul Collector: An ongoing title that would have featured Mercy Dante as Satan's personal assassin, eliminating the Inferno's more unsavory residents.
----The Lamp: A Sinbad/Belinda crossover that would have chronicled Belinda's time as a djinn in the care of Sinbad's young crew member, Pots.
but GFT is not without its universe-expanding mini-series, some more successful or necessary than others.
----The Piper: Belinda has a hand in unleashing The Pied Piper (issue #12) on the modern world, and the results are less than satisfactory or impactful on the Grimm Universe at large. At least it was a fun read.
----Annual Issues: 2007 (a prelude to The Boy Who Cried Wolf), 2008 (Death's misadventures with Sela, Contrary Mary and her Lily, Mary Darling--whose son was friends with the boy who would become Pan--and Belinda aboard the HMS Titanic), 2010 (Belinda and Sela give Little Bo Peep, a crime boss harassing the Gingerbread Man--a.k.a. Mercury Mason--and a Criss Angel wannabe who happens to be capable of real magic, their just desserts--and deserts--in Las Vegas), 2011 (Belinda and Baba Yaga assist an unwilling Sinbad as he tries to take down the voodoo priestess who enslaved his crew, continued in that year's Giant Size and Special Edition, prelude to the Dream Eater/Sinbad One-shot and the unrealized series The Lamp), 2012 (focusing on the machinations of Venus, Zeus, Neptune, Hades, and Ares. Prequel to the Angel One-Shot and the Godstorm mini-series). All fun little nuggets that add dimension to the Grimm Universe, even when they don't make much sense.
----April Fools Issues: Annual spoof of TFG's greatest hits that year. Fun to a point but not of any consequence.
----Giant Size: The first Giant Sized issue introduces Belinda in her pre-Dark One days as a likable kick-ass chick, adds some intrigue and dimension to her later relationship with Sela by revealing that Belinda also had a child who was taken by evil, and shows how Belinda herself first joined the dark side. LOVED this issue. The second Giant-Size is as described above, and the Sinbad crossover was an entertaining read. The third issue follows two of Sela's Myst companions as they cross the four realms in search of new council members. While awkwardly fighting over a disgraced princess, the odd couple encounter Mother Nature in Myst's Limbo, Tiger Lily and Tinker Belle in Neverland, The Red Queen and the Suicide King in Wonderland, and the evil Warlord of Oz, all the while being trailed by Orcus (the orc king) and an unknown hooded figure who turns out to be Belinda. Full of action, impactful, and it makes sense.
----Halloween: 2009 (Belinda and Baba Yaga use the cursed Monkey's Paw to wreak havoc on unsuspecting wish-makers, and frighten little kids in the process), 2010 (Sela tries to help a girl named Sara who is turned by a real vampire at a vampire-themed costume party. I'd like to see where this goes), 2011 (Worst Halloween issue yet. A poorly illustrated follow-up, or it could be a prequel?, to the Vegas Annual that touches on Belinda's pent-up frustrations regarding her lost son. Then The Dark One feeds a bunch of Russian roulette participants to his pet monster. The only decent segment deals with a conflicted Sela helping a down-and-out cop solve a decades old serial murder case where the perpetrator is a creature of the realms in disguise), 2012 (three teenage girls tell urban legends in a cornfield that is haunted by one of the Dark One's creations. Not of any consequence, but fun to read).
----Holiday: The first edition (2009) adapts The Nutcracker with Sela as the Swan Princess, thrust into a war between Prince Erik's (see above) nutcracker army and the Dark One's legion of giant rats. Ridiculous, but necessary...I guess. The next three issues deal with Krampus and how his designs against "the naughty" are thwarted by Sela and the real Santa Claus, who is Krampus' father. Not sure if any of this is relevant yet, but it was more entertaining than the Nutcracker fiasco.
----Valentine's and St. Patrick's 2013: Valentine's is a flashback to Sela's pre-guardian days that tells why she wears glasses even when she doesn't need them. Sounds pointless but the story is good. St. Patrick's Day is basically the last three Holiday issues with a leprechaun replacing Krampus, but it also has a good bookend story that kind of makes sense.
----Neverland and Hook: When her cousins John and Michael are abducted by Pan, Wendy Darling (yes, as in Mary Darling from the Titanic) must locate Nathan Cross (a.k.a. Hook) and convince him to help her get her family back. They ultimately defeat Pan (but he won't die until much later), only to be forced back into Neverland the following year when a new soul-sucking ruler sets his sights on Earth. A nice step up at a time when the flagship series was...flagging.
----Inferno: I don't get why people didn't like this enough to make it ongoing. After killing herself and winding up in the Inferno, Mercy Dante thinks she is her sister, Grace, until Sela Mathers shows up, asking Mercy to help her retrieve a lost soul from the seventh circle. I don't understand why Sela has grey hair in this, but the Inferno mini-series is full of well-drawn, easy-to-follow action and has the best ending of any mini-series the Grimm Universe had to offer up to that point.
----Myths & Legends: It all started out so well. Samantha helps series starter Dr. Britney Walters (a.k.a. Red Riding Hood) and her patients face down a creature that is somewhere between a shapeshifter, a werewolf, and a wendigo. Britney is turned, but she still has a chance. Then Samantha must align herself with Baba Yaga and the Pied Piper against the magic-consuming Dream Eater for two issues before losing the Little Mermaid to Ursula, losing the Beast to Venus and a long road of bloody vengeance for his brother's suicide, losing Jenna (the Beast's target) to a supernatural flood of contagious rage, losing Hansel & Gretel to the Dark One, finding out that there is an unstoppable fire god trapped in the sun, and unsuccessfully thwarting the release of said god. Drawn out disappointment after drawn out disappointment here, not enough Samantha, and way too many pitiful sidekicks (the mother from The Juniper Tree has plant-control powers. Miniscule yay. The soldier from Three Billy Goats Gruff talks a little and has a big mace. Roosevelt is not amused. The Innocent knows everything and provides as little help as possible. Oh, and she almost dies, too. At least Sela's mentor is back from the dead and there's a chance the daughter from The Juniper Tree will be resurrected with her mother's blood). Overall, meh.
----Dream Eater Saga: Takes characters from all over Zenescope (even non-GFT titles) and pits them against an ancient, magic being-consuming T-1000 monster that has disguised itself as an old man. He causes the death of Belinda, kills Pan, the Cheshire Cat, The Queen of Hearts, and several other empowered beings (Highborns) before the combined forces of good and evil are able to contain him. We learn at the end that the Warlord of Oz is coming, but it will be awhile before he does. Decent story, but not worth setting up some of the sub-par mini-series that are to come.
----The Library: Sela is supposed to have at least one Highborn parent, and be almost as old as Belinda. Yet this spin-off has her in modern times, as a young girl with a brother and a money-obsessed human father. In the titular place, the senselessly young Sela finds a book that looks much like the adult Sela's fairy tale tome, and accidentally unleashes a horde of literary characters upon the world, including Hercules, Robin Hood, Pecos Bill, The Wicked Witch of the West, zombies, vampires, mummies, werewolves, dinosaurs, and...Baba Yaga? I don't know what they were trying to say or prove with this series, but it was way outside canon for me, and I closed the last book with a feeling of unfulfillment.
----Jungle Book and Last Of the Species: I don't yet see how it's connected to the Grimm Universe. The story is decent and the action is easy enough to follow, but all they did was make Mowgli a girl so there would be an excuse to write an unrequited lesbian romance between her and a human mongoose.
----Bad Girls: After the events of Lockdown, Sela is smashed out of prison when an army of monsters called Flesh Reavers come to reave her flesh. United (kind of) against her and the Dark One, we have The Queen Of Spades, The Goblin Queen, Alicia the Limbo Queen, Baba Yaga, and Venus, using items and energies Sela acquired for them in past GFT issues to feed the Reavers and construct a device that controls them. Sela ultimately teams up with Red, Hook, and Samantha to defeat the Reavers and the five Bad Girls. Basically reads just like the last two "stop an apocalypse" story arcs, but it was cool to see Red riding a giant magical wolf-thing.
----Angel and Godstorm: I wasn't sure what to expect from this arc, but it didn't have that "gotta read it!" factor that even The Library had going for it. A decent set-up for the Unleashed cycle, and at least Venus got her arms ripped off. I'm ready for my close-up, Ms. De Milo.
----Robyn Hood: A child of one of the Dark One's followers grows up on Earth with a human family, thanks to Shang (Sela's mentor). She is a natural thief with a superhuman case of street smarts and a pistol for a mouth (this is a weird series, but please don't take that literally). Her smart mouth one day costs her her eye and whatever innocence remained inside her soul, but a sorceress from Myst draws Robyn back to the realm of her birth and sets her on a course that closely mirrors the traditional Robin Hood legend, save a few transdimensional plot twists and a heaping pile of bloody murder at Robyn's hands. The crossover with Red Riding Hood follows the events of the first Robyn Hood series as the two mistake each other for enemies and engage in a petal-to-the-metal fight to near death that ends only when the two realize how similar their circumstances are. I'm half-glad they didn't decide to sit down and talk right away.
----Grimm Universe: Kind of an "origin story of the month" thing detailing important moments in the lives of some of the franchise's more popular characters. The first four have been great. Keep it up as I keep trying to catch up.
----Sleepy Hollow: Another mini-series that I don't yet grasp the purpose of beyond monetary gains and losses. The inking, like the kill scenes, was a bloody mess. I'll stick to the Fox TV show, thank you.
----Wonderland: This second franchise series is just awesome. Like GFT, the first series (Return to Wonderland) was as maddeningly incoherent as Wonderland itself. But as things progressed and more and more information was fed my way, I couldn't stop reading. The family turmoil, the numerous character origin stories, the connections between key characters of all the Wonderland titles and GFT (Belinda and Alice's grandfather were an item, can you believe it?), it's all so crazy and sexy and bloody and addicting, and I as a modern consumer want more!
No letter grades tonight. Just take my criticisms and favor as you read them. If you've read ahead of me, feel free to call me an idiot on whatever topic you like. Just try not to spoil anything for me. I've been up way too long tonight, so stay tuned for whatever, and goodnight.
Each seductive, pin-up-quality cover of Grimm Fairy Tales hides a portion of the story of Sela Mathers, a literature professor in possession of a mysterious book of fairy tales which she uses to try to help select people she comes across, in a moral-of-the-month kind of format. Eventually, we find out Sela isn't the only person with a book of fairy tales. Belinda, a long-time rival of Sela's, is using her own book to recruit an army of special humans under the banner of her employer, a devil-like being called "The Dark One." Unbeknownst to Sela, Belinda has repeatedly manipulated her into helping with this evil endeavor. Events between GFT #16 - Little Miss Muffet (a nonsensical throwaway psych trip all by itself) and GFT #22 - The Snow Queen make little sense, but when Sela dies at the end of GFT #24 - Snow White and Rose Red Part 2, things get interesting as the series puts Belinda in the spotlight and introduces the characters Erica (The Little Mermaid) and Mercy (last name Dante, as in the author who wrote himself through the circles of Hell), causing the reader to gradually lose hope in the face of issue after issue of murder and Belinda's successful efforts to corrupt her targets. This trend of disappointment continues through Sela's resurrection in the land of Myst at the hands of Death, and Cindy (a Cinderella-based character corrupted by the unwitting Sela in the series' second issue) embracing her bloodthirsty nature. The series eventually expands to a cosmic level, revealing that Neverland, Wonderland, Oz, and the fairy tale realm of Myst, are real, and that Sela's book is the key that links these four "realms of power" to Earth. When she is forced to destroy the book to thwart the Dark One's invasion of Earth, Sela is sadly written into a constant self-pitying damsel-in-distress role as she travels Myst in search of her true love (a nutcracker prince name Erik she met in the first Christmas issue). Sela's search takes her through orc-besieged villages, Mother Nature's garden, and the gates of Limbo, where she learns from the Queen of Limbo (who may or may not have had a vendetta against Sinbad in a past life, under a slightly different name) that she and Erik had a daughter, who is under the care and influence of the power-hungry "goddess" Venus. Sela's efforts to get back to Earth and reunite with her daughter turn violent, leading to my favorite story arc thus far: The Lockdown, in which Sela finds herself in a maximum security prison that is more than it seems. At times confusing (especially with regard to the true chronological order of the issues), suffering from the occasional missed (or misspelled) word, and thus far having announced no less than three unrealized series
----Grimm Tales: An origin story of sorts for series regular and favorite Samantha Darren (as in the old Bewitched TV series), a disciple and friend of Sela's whom Sela sacrificed herself to save at the end of the Rose Red two-parter.
----Inferno - Soul Collector: An ongoing title that would have featured Mercy Dante as Satan's personal assassin, eliminating the Inferno's more unsavory residents.
----The Lamp: A Sinbad/Belinda crossover that would have chronicled Belinda's time as a djinn in the care of Sinbad's young crew member, Pots.
but GFT is not without its universe-expanding mini-series, some more successful or necessary than others.
----The Piper: Belinda has a hand in unleashing The Pied Piper (issue #12) on the modern world, and the results are less than satisfactory or impactful on the Grimm Universe at large. At least it was a fun read.
----Annual Issues: 2007 (a prelude to The Boy Who Cried Wolf), 2008 (Death's misadventures with Sela, Contrary Mary and her Lily, Mary Darling--whose son was friends with the boy who would become Pan--and Belinda aboard the HMS Titanic), 2010 (Belinda and Sela give Little Bo Peep, a crime boss harassing the Gingerbread Man--a.k.a. Mercury Mason--and a Criss Angel wannabe who happens to be capable of real magic, their just desserts--and deserts--in Las Vegas), 2011 (Belinda and Baba Yaga assist an unwilling Sinbad as he tries to take down the voodoo priestess who enslaved his crew, continued in that year's Giant Size and Special Edition, prelude to the Dream Eater/Sinbad One-shot and the unrealized series The Lamp), 2012 (focusing on the machinations of Venus, Zeus, Neptune, Hades, and Ares. Prequel to the Angel One-Shot and the Godstorm mini-series). All fun little nuggets that add dimension to the Grimm Universe, even when they don't make much sense.
----April Fools Issues: Annual spoof of TFG's greatest hits that year. Fun to a point but not of any consequence.
----Giant Size: The first Giant Sized issue introduces Belinda in her pre-Dark One days as a likable kick-ass chick, adds some intrigue and dimension to her later relationship with Sela by revealing that Belinda also had a child who was taken by evil, and shows how Belinda herself first joined the dark side. LOVED this issue. The second Giant-Size is as described above, and the Sinbad crossover was an entertaining read. The third issue follows two of Sela's Myst companions as they cross the four realms in search of new council members. While awkwardly fighting over a disgraced princess, the odd couple encounter Mother Nature in Myst's Limbo, Tiger Lily and Tinker Belle in Neverland, The Red Queen and the Suicide King in Wonderland, and the evil Warlord of Oz, all the while being trailed by Orcus (the orc king) and an unknown hooded figure who turns out to be Belinda. Full of action, impactful, and it makes sense.
----Halloween: 2009 (Belinda and Baba Yaga use the cursed Monkey's Paw to wreak havoc on unsuspecting wish-makers, and frighten little kids in the process), 2010 (Sela tries to help a girl named Sara who is turned by a real vampire at a vampire-themed costume party. I'd like to see where this goes), 2011 (Worst Halloween issue yet. A poorly illustrated follow-up, or it could be a prequel?, to the Vegas Annual that touches on Belinda's pent-up frustrations regarding her lost son. Then The Dark One feeds a bunch of Russian roulette participants to his pet monster. The only decent segment deals with a conflicted Sela helping a down-and-out cop solve a decades old serial murder case where the perpetrator is a creature of the realms in disguise), 2012 (three teenage girls tell urban legends in a cornfield that is haunted by one of the Dark One's creations. Not of any consequence, but fun to read).
----Holiday: The first edition (2009) adapts The Nutcracker with Sela as the Swan Princess, thrust into a war between Prince Erik's (see above) nutcracker army and the Dark One's legion of giant rats. Ridiculous, but necessary...I guess. The next three issues deal with Krampus and how his designs against "the naughty" are thwarted by Sela and the real Santa Claus, who is Krampus' father. Not sure if any of this is relevant yet, but it was more entertaining than the Nutcracker fiasco.
----Valentine's and St. Patrick's 2013: Valentine's is a flashback to Sela's pre-guardian days that tells why she wears glasses even when she doesn't need them. Sounds pointless but the story is good. St. Patrick's Day is basically the last three Holiday issues with a leprechaun replacing Krampus, but it also has a good bookend story that kind of makes sense.
----Neverland and Hook: When her cousins John and Michael are abducted by Pan, Wendy Darling (yes, as in Mary Darling from the Titanic) must locate Nathan Cross (a.k.a. Hook) and convince him to help her get her family back. They ultimately defeat Pan (but he won't die until much later), only to be forced back into Neverland the following year when a new soul-sucking ruler sets his sights on Earth. A nice step up at a time when the flagship series was...flagging.
----Inferno: I don't get why people didn't like this enough to make it ongoing. After killing herself and winding up in the Inferno, Mercy Dante thinks she is her sister, Grace, until Sela Mathers shows up, asking Mercy to help her retrieve a lost soul from the seventh circle. I don't understand why Sela has grey hair in this, but the Inferno mini-series is full of well-drawn, easy-to-follow action and has the best ending of any mini-series the Grimm Universe had to offer up to that point.
----Myths & Legends: It all started out so well. Samantha helps series starter Dr. Britney Walters (a.k.a. Red Riding Hood) and her patients face down a creature that is somewhere between a shapeshifter, a werewolf, and a wendigo. Britney is turned, but she still has a chance. Then Samantha must align herself with Baba Yaga and the Pied Piper against the magic-consuming Dream Eater for two issues before losing the Little Mermaid to Ursula, losing the Beast to Venus and a long road of bloody vengeance for his brother's suicide, losing Jenna (the Beast's target) to a supernatural flood of contagious rage, losing Hansel & Gretel to the Dark One, finding out that there is an unstoppable fire god trapped in the sun, and unsuccessfully thwarting the release of said god. Drawn out disappointment after drawn out disappointment here, not enough Samantha, and way too many pitiful sidekicks (the mother from The Juniper Tree has plant-control powers. Miniscule yay. The soldier from Three Billy Goats Gruff talks a little and has a big mace. Roosevelt is not amused. The Innocent knows everything and provides as little help as possible. Oh, and she almost dies, too. At least Sela's mentor is back from the dead and there's a chance the daughter from The Juniper Tree will be resurrected with her mother's blood). Overall, meh.
----Dream Eater Saga: Takes characters from all over Zenescope (even non-GFT titles) and pits them against an ancient, magic being-consuming T-1000 monster that has disguised itself as an old man. He causes the death of Belinda, kills Pan, the Cheshire Cat, The Queen of Hearts, and several other empowered beings (Highborns) before the combined forces of good and evil are able to contain him. We learn at the end that the Warlord of Oz is coming, but it will be awhile before he does. Decent story, but not worth setting up some of the sub-par mini-series that are to come.
----The Library: Sela is supposed to have at least one Highborn parent, and be almost as old as Belinda. Yet this spin-off has her in modern times, as a young girl with a brother and a money-obsessed human father. In the titular place, the senselessly young Sela finds a book that looks much like the adult Sela's fairy tale tome, and accidentally unleashes a horde of literary characters upon the world, including Hercules, Robin Hood, Pecos Bill, The Wicked Witch of the West, zombies, vampires, mummies, werewolves, dinosaurs, and...Baba Yaga? I don't know what they were trying to say or prove with this series, but it was way outside canon for me, and I closed the last book with a feeling of unfulfillment.
----Jungle Book and Last Of the Species: I don't yet see how it's connected to the Grimm Universe. The story is decent and the action is easy enough to follow, but all they did was make Mowgli a girl so there would be an excuse to write an unrequited lesbian romance between her and a human mongoose.
----Bad Girls: After the events of Lockdown, Sela is smashed out of prison when an army of monsters called Flesh Reavers come to reave her flesh. United (kind of) against her and the Dark One, we have The Queen Of Spades, The Goblin Queen, Alicia the Limbo Queen, Baba Yaga, and Venus, using items and energies Sela acquired for them in past GFT issues to feed the Reavers and construct a device that controls them. Sela ultimately teams up with Red, Hook, and Samantha to defeat the Reavers and the five Bad Girls. Basically reads just like the last two "stop an apocalypse" story arcs, but it was cool to see Red riding a giant magical wolf-thing.
----Angel and Godstorm: I wasn't sure what to expect from this arc, but it didn't have that "gotta read it!" factor that even The Library had going for it. A decent set-up for the Unleashed cycle, and at least Venus got her arms ripped off. I'm ready for my close-up, Ms. De Milo.
----Robyn Hood: A child of one of the Dark One's followers grows up on Earth with a human family, thanks to Shang (Sela's mentor). She is a natural thief with a superhuman case of street smarts and a pistol for a mouth (this is a weird series, but please don't take that literally). Her smart mouth one day costs her her eye and whatever innocence remained inside her soul, but a sorceress from Myst draws Robyn back to the realm of her birth and sets her on a course that closely mirrors the traditional Robin Hood legend, save a few transdimensional plot twists and a heaping pile of bloody murder at Robyn's hands. The crossover with Red Riding Hood follows the events of the first Robyn Hood series as the two mistake each other for enemies and engage in a petal-to-the-metal fight to near death that ends only when the two realize how similar their circumstances are. I'm half-glad they didn't decide to sit down and talk right away.
----Grimm Universe: Kind of an "origin story of the month" thing detailing important moments in the lives of some of the franchise's more popular characters. The first four have been great. Keep it up as I keep trying to catch up.
----Sleepy Hollow: Another mini-series that I don't yet grasp the purpose of beyond monetary gains and losses. The inking, like the kill scenes, was a bloody mess. I'll stick to the Fox TV show, thank you.
----Wonderland: This second franchise series is just awesome. Like GFT, the first series (Return to Wonderland) was as maddeningly incoherent as Wonderland itself. But as things progressed and more and more information was fed my way, I couldn't stop reading. The family turmoil, the numerous character origin stories, the connections between key characters of all the Wonderland titles and GFT (Belinda and Alice's grandfather were an item, can you believe it?), it's all so crazy and sexy and bloody and addicting, and I as a modern consumer want more!
No letter grades tonight. Just take my criticisms and favor as you read them. If you've read ahead of me, feel free to call me an idiot on whatever topic you like. Just try not to spoil anything for me. I've been up way too long tonight, so stay tuned for whatever, and goodnight.
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