Just the Ticket #71: Man of Steel?
It's a new week in movies, and in addition to Thor: The Dark World, which I will watch tonight and try to have a review of for you tomorrow, I spent my morning watching Zack Snyder & Christopher Nolan's Man of Steel.
As superhero movies go, Man of Steel proved to be less than super. The casting was spectacular (Kevin Costner and Diane Lane as John and Martha Kent, Russel Crowe as Jor-El, Michael Shannon as General Zod, Amy Adams as Lois Lane--we've never had a blonde Lois Lane before--Lawrence Fishburne as Perry White--we've never had a black Perry White, either--and even newcomer Henry Cavill as the titular hero, but a paragraph on him a bit later), and the origin story was creatively told (going for a flashback-laden progression from angsty youthful outcast to less-angsty philanthropic drifter to charismatic hero to fake-angsty awkward reporter, almost like condensing all ten seasons of Smallville into a two-and-a-half hour showcase, but with that signature Nolan touch).
From the opening sequence aboard an imperiled cargo ship and a collapsing oil rig, to the film's final marathon of destruction, Cavill wears every Super-idiosyncrasy like a badge of honor. Every sideward glance before dashing to the rescue, every flight pose, every Super-punch, and every nerdy, Clark Kent twitch is an iconic piece of Americana ("I grew up in Kansas. You can't get more American than that") that Cavill manages to make his own, and it works.
But with the arrival of Shannon's infamous General Zod, who the actor plays with a mixture of Iceman chilliness and Take Shelter desperation that gives dimension and purpose to the character's pen-and-ink villainy, the last half of Man of Steel falls prey to the epicness of epic cinema, and embodies a flaw in the history and credibility of Superman that I have long quipped about.
I am fond of noting that when Superman flew backwards around the Earth, reversing its rotation and supposedly turning back time, any change in the speed or direction of our planet would shake it apart and send us all smashing into the atmosphere at incendiary velocities incurred only by space shuttles making re-entry, and that such an act of desperation would seriously throw ol' Red 'n' Blue's credibility as a hero into question.
So what does this little tirade on the believable nature (or lack thereof) of comic books have to do with Man of Steel? To answer that, let's stack this single movie (or rather, it's final hour) up against the entire Avengers franchise thus far. Three appearances by the Hulk, five appearances by Iron Man, and three appearances by Thor (the most destructive trio among the group), and a horde of aliens that destroy half of New York City with their giant flying centipedes, and Marvel has shown more human decency, and destroyed less property, in eight movies than Superman did fighting Zod and his lackeys in less than half of a movie. I could throw in four Spider-Man films, six X-Men films, and Daredevil, and Man of Steel would still have a higher body count. In Man of Steel, you have the war and destruction on Krypton, every planet Krypton has terraformed, the stores--mom 'n' pop joints as well as IHOP and Sears--where people huddle inside and watch as Superman, Zod & Co., and the US military reduce Smallville's Main Street to a pile of flaming rubble while trying to stop a group of bulletproof alien terrorists with conventional arms, missiles, and...knives? Really? You pump a thousand-something rounds into somebody who can bench a tanker truck, they don't even flinch, and you think you can beat them in a knife-fight? Really?
Really, Metropolitans? Did you really just stand out in the street watching as a terraforming machine sucked your planet into the sky? Did you really just stand out in the street watching--again--as Superman smashed Zod through ten skyscrapers, three parking garages, and a train station? How dumb can you be? Really?
And finally, really, Superman? Did you really snap Zod's neck when he had his heat vision in Bond-villain mode just inches from an innocent family's heads? Really?
At least when Goku was fighting Frieza in DragonBall Z, he had the decency to wish all the Namekians off their planet before it was destroyed in the battle. Really.
And that's why I can no more wrap my head around Superman as a hero than I can wrap my head around Ben Affleck as Batman. Really.
It's all enough to make a person wish for some Kryptonite so we can let Highfather sort them all out.
C-
As superhero movies go, Man of Steel proved to be less than super. The casting was spectacular (Kevin Costner and Diane Lane as John and Martha Kent, Russel Crowe as Jor-El, Michael Shannon as General Zod, Amy Adams as Lois Lane--we've never had a blonde Lois Lane before--Lawrence Fishburne as Perry White--we've never had a black Perry White, either--and even newcomer Henry Cavill as the titular hero, but a paragraph on him a bit later), and the origin story was creatively told (going for a flashback-laden progression from angsty youthful outcast to less-angsty philanthropic drifter to charismatic hero to fake-angsty awkward reporter, almost like condensing all ten seasons of Smallville into a two-and-a-half hour showcase, but with that signature Nolan touch).
From the opening sequence aboard an imperiled cargo ship and a collapsing oil rig, to the film's final marathon of destruction, Cavill wears every Super-idiosyncrasy like a badge of honor. Every sideward glance before dashing to the rescue, every flight pose, every Super-punch, and every nerdy, Clark Kent twitch is an iconic piece of Americana ("I grew up in Kansas. You can't get more American than that") that Cavill manages to make his own, and it works.
But with the arrival of Shannon's infamous General Zod, who the actor plays with a mixture of Iceman chilliness and Take Shelter desperation that gives dimension and purpose to the character's pen-and-ink villainy, the last half of Man of Steel falls prey to the epicness of epic cinema, and embodies a flaw in the history and credibility of Superman that I have long quipped about.
I am fond of noting that when Superman flew backwards around the Earth, reversing its rotation and supposedly turning back time, any change in the speed or direction of our planet would shake it apart and send us all smashing into the atmosphere at incendiary velocities incurred only by space shuttles making re-entry, and that such an act of desperation would seriously throw ol' Red 'n' Blue's credibility as a hero into question.
So what does this little tirade on the believable nature (or lack thereof) of comic books have to do with Man of Steel? To answer that, let's stack this single movie (or rather, it's final hour) up against the entire Avengers franchise thus far. Three appearances by the Hulk, five appearances by Iron Man, and three appearances by Thor (the most destructive trio among the group), and a horde of aliens that destroy half of New York City with their giant flying centipedes, and Marvel has shown more human decency, and destroyed less property, in eight movies than Superman did fighting Zod and his lackeys in less than half of a movie. I could throw in four Spider-Man films, six X-Men films, and Daredevil, and Man of Steel would still have a higher body count. In Man of Steel, you have the war and destruction on Krypton, every planet Krypton has terraformed, the stores--mom 'n' pop joints as well as IHOP and Sears--where people huddle inside and watch as Superman, Zod & Co., and the US military reduce Smallville's Main Street to a pile of flaming rubble while trying to stop a group of bulletproof alien terrorists with conventional arms, missiles, and...knives? Really? You pump a thousand-something rounds into somebody who can bench a tanker truck, they don't even flinch, and you think you can beat them in a knife-fight? Really?
Really, Metropolitans? Did you really just stand out in the street watching as a terraforming machine sucked your planet into the sky? Did you really just stand out in the street watching--again--as Superman smashed Zod through ten skyscrapers, three parking garages, and a train station? How dumb can you be? Really?
And finally, really, Superman? Did you really snap Zod's neck when he had his heat vision in Bond-villain mode just inches from an innocent family's heads? Really?
At least when Goku was fighting Frieza in DragonBall Z, he had the decency to wish all the Namekians off their planet before it was destroyed in the battle. Really.
And that's why I can no more wrap my head around Superman as a hero than I can wrap my head around Ben Affleck as Batman. Really.
It's all enough to make a person wish for some Kryptonite so we can let Highfather sort them all out.
C-
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