Just the Ticket #171: The Substance

by Sean Wilkinson,

a.k.a. The Substantial Ticketmaster.

I've been wanting to see The Substance for awhile, but also dreading it for almost as long because movies like 2001: A Space Odyssey and Beyond the Black Rainbow aren't really my cup of psilocybin tea. However, with Awards Season (when the movies everyone had confidence in last year get the statues they pay for and the movies no one had confidence in this year get dumped in theaters so people can wait for them to be free on Tubi) building the hype with Demi Moore claiming almost every Best Actress trophy in existence, I had to see if there was anything to the acclaim, or if Flavor Flav was right once again.

Believe the hype or don't (artistic quality is usually subjective, after all), but please remember to Become A Ticketholder if you haven't yet, leave a comment at the bottom of this post, help out my ad revenue as you read so I can achieve a better version of myself through hard work, and follow me on BlueSky, Tumblr, Reddit, Facebook, YouTube, and LinkedIn to like what you see and receive the latest news on my active, stable content.

In a world so French that the most popular scheduled television program in 2020s America is a fitness show so sexualized and stuck in the 80s that it would make Olivia Newton John blush, Demi Moore gets top billing and co-star screentime as Elizabeth Sparkle,

a fading Suzanne Somers/Jane Fonda-alike exercise mascot forced out of her long, lucrative career by her greedy, chauvinistic manager who definitely has a "casting couch" somewhere and is named Harvey (The Day After Tomorrow star Dennis Quaid, breaking the dial off at "Baked Ham" on his Perform-O-Meter). Subtle.

After being examined for injuries sustained in a car accident, Elizabeth is given promotional materials for The Substance (basically, she watches the parts of the trailer that don't have her in it, complete with sinister, deadpan voice-over provided by Yann Bean), a...substance...that looks like re-agent from the Re-Animator movies and makes "a better version of yourself" tear its way out of the person's back (which Elizabeth survives somehow). The younger Elizabeth, calling herself Sue (Margaret Qualley, daughter of Andie MacDowell), must Stabilize with Elizabeth's spinal fluid every day, switch consciousness with her every week, and they must keep each other alive with a mysterious, intravenous nutrient while the other is unconscious. And they somehow know to do this despite there barely being any instructions.

I expected a straight-up mind-swap, but The Substance makes things slightly more interesting with Elizabeth and Sue being distinct personalities who come to despise each other while unable to escape their reliance on one another and the Substance program. It's dramatically more satisfying than Elizabeth just suffering the consequences of wanting to keep her younger body, and financially more feasible to not digitally morph one character into the other (especially considering how fun and gross the practical effects get later, and the existential twist that kicks off the third act).

In terms of style, The Substance (directed by Coralie Fargeat, of the 2017 French language I Spit On Your Grave-alike, Revenge) has a bit of that psychedelic horror element at first, letting simple visuals, long, surreal establishing shots, and Alien-esque sterility tell a story. But when actual characters are onscreen, it feels like Fargeat watched Hardcore Henry, the Crank movies, and a marathon of 90s music videos and American video game commercials. There's a (probably intentionally) unsettling amount of fisheye perspective shots, Dutch sailor angles (that's a term I just made up for when the camera angle is canted but also sways like the cinematographer is drunk on a ship), frantic shaky-cam, and vanishing point hallway shots. There's even a point in the middle where the movie just stops to make us watch Margaret Qualley film a full-length sexercise video for no apparent reason, and watching Dennis Quaid eat shrimp in "scary adult from Goosebumps"-Vision brought back old memories of the time I projectile vomited after eating creamed prawns at a casino buffet in high school.

The second act montage of Elizabeth and Sue switching places, and the "let's put a full exercise tape in the middle of the movie" sequence could have done with substantially more editing - like, near complete removal in the latter case - and the fact that the Substance program would appeal most to those whose lifestyles guarantee they would fail, just invites thoughts of "why would this exist?" "Why bother?" "What's the point?" It's like if someone offered you the key to immortality but you had to drink fresh-squeezed kobe semen every morning and die in your sleep every night.

But that third act, from its kickoff reveal to the Powerpuff Girls-meets-Multiplicity-meets-Evil Dead body horror finale, is fun and funny beyond criticism with a bleakly symbolic capstone moment.

And despite its pacing flaws and dated cinematography choices, The Substance (unlike some other message-driven entertainment I've seen recently) does a brilliant job of addressing the fleeting nature of fame, the insidiousness of (for lack of a less punny turn of phrase) Substance abuse and codependency, and the toxic impact of sexism and ageism on the entertainment industry.

B+

Work together, follow the instructions, and nobody falls apart.

Also, stay away from South African billionaires with chainsaws, Stay Tuned for March-al Law Month, and please remember that you are one I want to Become A Ticketholder if you haven't yet, leave a comment at the bottom of this post, help out my ad revenue as you read so I can achieve a better version of myself through hard work, and follow me on BlueSky, Tumblr, Reddit, Facebook, YouTube, and LinkedIn to like what you see and receive the latest news on my active, stable content.

Ticketmaster,

Out.