Back From the Hospital

 Status Update:

So, my plans for last week's AniMonday fell through in a big way, thanks to diarrhea and vomiting!

I didn't think much of it because I always abuse caffeine when I'm studying, and I'd gotten used to having to spend half of the morning on the toilet under those circumstances. But the next day, I woke up at two in the morning and spent most of the next eight hours evacuating the contents of my stomach into a large, porcelain chair (and the surrounding floor treatments). Despite being able to temporarily stomach dry toast, instant pudding, and a glass of Pedialyte, I was suddenly gripped by the kind of flaming, throbbing, sweat-inducing abdominal pain that only results in screaming, howling, and telling your nearest and dearest to stop asking stupid questions and engage in various demonetizable acts of self-gratification.

I was rushed to the emergency room shortly after, where I received pain management normally reserved for cancer patients and large zoo animals, and it was determined that my excessive use of caffeine, personal stresses, casual consumption of hard alcohol, and...enjoyment? (probably not an accurate word because physical over-consumption does not fill spiritual voids)...of fried food while I'm pushing forty, had given me gall stones and an inflamed pancreas.

I was then transferred to a "nearby" major hospital (hundreds of miles and several hours away) by ambulance, where I spent the next three days in Oncology (thank you, Patrick Swayze), on a mainly intraveinous, liquid diet, breathing through an annoying-but-manageable level of abdominal pain and getting beeped at every time I moved, watching police procedurals, game shows with stupid contestants, and bad medication commercials while I waited for periodic vital checks, blood tests by incompetent twenty-somethings, and eventually, for my laproscopic gall bladder removal.

The surgery went without complication and I had no tissue growths or residual stones to remove post-op, so I got a much-needed shower, finally ate some solid food after four days of juice, Jell-o, applesauce, and a saline/glucose drip, and demonstrated my recovered lung capacity to the OR nurse by spitting the first verse of Public Enemy's "Bring the Noise" in a single breath. The day after surgery, I was cleared to go home. I am still on a low-fat diet, and I can't lift anything over thirty pounds for another two weeks, but I'm set to return to work tomorrow for the breakfast shift, so wish me luck!

Exclamation points!!!

As I haven't been writing much, and my disillusionment with the new anime season has me plodding through a huge playlist backlog, it might be another week before I have a satisfactory AniMonday post for you all. And I need to buckle down in my marketing courses if I'm going to finish the term on schedule, but there won't be a lack of trying on my part to get some content out within the week.

Ticketmaster,

Animeister,

The Guy With All the Gall,

Out.