Chucky #3: I Like To Be Hugged

Article by Sean Wilkinson

a.k.a. He Whom the Haters Don't Believe Writes Articles

Yeah. I said in Chucky #2.5: Coming Of Rage that I was thankful for being called on my fallacies, and I am. I even posted an edited version of my second episode review, expressing a more favorable opinion of it, given accurate information. But I also fired back some shots of my own, and, if you couldn't tell from the above a.k.a., I can be something of a sore sport when it comes to personal attacks, and I can carry a grudge like Martins Licis carries crossfit tires.

What can I say? I like to be hugged.

With that title drop out of the way, there are still some things I failed to mention. First is the almost dance-like horror trope subversion that took place in the second episode when Chucky was trying to stab Lexy through the bed while she was trying oh so hard to do the thing that (aside from being the most gigantic asshole ever written) most often gets slasher movie characters killed: have sex. The unwitting last-second dodges by Lexy and Junior in this scene, and especially the infuriating (to Chucky, his potential victims, and the viewing public) interruptions by fellow partygoers, are horror/suspense/comedy gold. And given that the next time we see Lexy in the episode is when she is wearing her...costume..., those negative sympathies are amplified even more. Powerful stuff considering this is a SyFy Channel series about a voodoo-practicing serial killer-possessed doll. Second, I neglected to mention that all of the title sequences have been different so far. They all involve objects converging to center-screen to form the word, CHUCKY. But those objects have been different from episode to episode, and reference some important aspect of that episode. In the pilot, the objects were doll parts, making reference to Jake's unusual medium of sculpture. In "Give Me Something Good To Eat," they were mostly butcher knives (and possibly some thin, metallic glints that might be razor blades or more butcher knives from a different angle) with a few pumpkins thrown in the background, referencing Chucky's weapon of choice, the murder of the housekeeper, and the episode's Halloween theme. In this week's episode, for reasons that will be touched on in the actual review below, the logo is comprised of a flaming background and an assortment of farming, gardening, and construction implements.

Before I tell you all about it, take a look at my coverage of the franchise up to this point at the links below and catch up with the series via the USA Network or SyFy Channel apps (or your local provider).

Welcome to the Dead Parade #12: Chucky Gets Chyerminaydit (Child's Play 1-3, Bride, and Seed)
Just the Ticket #69: Breaking The Curse of Chucky, Sequel-itis Cured? (Curse) NICE!
Welcome To the Dead Parade #14: Chucky's Cult Following (Cult)

Episode 1: Chucky #1: Deth By Misadventure

Episode 2:

Chucky #2: Give Me Something Good to Eat, and

Chucky #2.5: The Coming Of Rage

And now, the break.

Continuing right where the last episode left off, we see Jake and Chucky discussing how best to kill Lexy for what she did at the Halloween party, because dressing up as the main character's dead father, mid-electrocution, and turning it into a performance piece for social media, is not cool. The main character conspiring with the person who actually electrocuted his father to kill the bitch who dressed up as the main character's dead father, mid-electrocution, and turned it into a performance piece for social media, is totally cool. But you know what's cooler? Sarcasm! Not as cool, though, is Jake's stock transition dialogue about, "I don't think I can do this. How did you become a killer?"

Are we really still doing this?

I guess we're still doing this.

In flashback, we see the young Charles Lee Ray, looking like that psychotic little bastard from the Problem Child movies, at his birthday party. As flashback Chucky bluntly eviscerates a pinata and cuts his cake with a butcher knife like it offended the French monarchy c. 1793, present day Chucky reverently narrates events, explaining the appeal of hiding behind an innocent face, and waxing romantic about murder ("your first time," "the right person," etc.). Between Chucky's murder/love metaphors, a radio in the flashback relays news about a local murder spree, which no one at the party pays attention to because horror movie characters. These elements will become important later on.

Back to present day: In the crimson-floored halls of Perry Middle School, Detective Evans questions Miss Fairchild, the biology teacher, about Jake, attempting to gather information about the deaths of Lucas Wheeler and the housekeeper, and the maiming of the woman whom Chucky visited in the previous episode. Again, horror movie stupidity prevents her from questioning how Jake could have made a doll that walks on its own and can not only hold a coherent conversation, but lead that conversation, and has enough manual dexterity to grip an apple (Chucky himself says "try strangling someone with these," which will also be important later). I mean, I know this is 2021 and we have artificial intelligence and advanced robotics as plausible explanations now, but I don't think anyone wants Chucky to be the 2019 Child's Play, do you? And speaking of 2021, how has the only prominent law enforcement character in the show, whose son has a podcast semi-dedicated to Charles Lee Ray, not used a fucking search engine to cross-reference razor blade-related crimes, or murder in general, with Good Guy dolls? It took Jake a montage of less than two minutes to figure Chucky out, and he makes sculptures out of dismembered (and royalty-free!) Barbie dolls. I guess this is one of those "the show would be over" kinds of things, but it's still annoying.

Anyway, between this exchange and Lexy's IRL cyber-bullying, Miss Fairchild calls for a Parent/Guardian (because we have to be sensitive to all familial constructs now) Teacher Conference.

Meanwhile, Devon and Jake's awkward developing relationship continues to develop awkwardly thanks to Björgvin Arnarson's bad acting, Devon secretly recording Jake (which will probably play out so well as a future revelation), Jake's complicated loner persona, and that damned text alert that keeps going off while they're trying to emote in the general direction of each other.

If you thought trying to strangle someone with doll-sized fingers was a bitch, you haven't met Lexy, or tried to text with doll-sized fingers. It's time for Jake to stalk and kill Lexy while she's jogging! Which means it's also time for Chucky to voiceover some more dating/murder metaphors! But surprise! Disgustingly cute TV couples that shouldn't be together often dress alike! Which means Jake almost stabs Junior...who was also jogging in the area at the same time?

Whatever; this is immediately followed by a missing scene because Lexy and Junior are immediately somewhere completely different and barely reference Junior's strange encounter with Jake at all, Lexy's sister Caroline is throwing a fit because Chucky isn't there, and Jake is in his uncle's garage, pondering the homicidal practicality of the various implements that were featured in the title sequence, including a fucking scythe. Why does anyone in a suburban neighborhood have a fucking scythe in their garage? As for the "missing scene" comment that you all will no doubt fight me on: yes, I know what editing is. I also know what good editing should feel like, and to instantly jump locations and tones and completely gloss over subject matter that would have been both congruous to the story and dramatically entertaining just to move the story along at the audience's expense is wrong.

We do get a decent, if infuriating, exchange when Lexy walks in on Jake's...farming research...to "apologize" for her Halloween "prank" so Jake will let her have Chucky to keep Caroline happy. Lexy's apology is almost genuine at first, but then she keeps talking, only adding fuel to Jake's already crackling hatred towards her. Jake refuses her request at first because he's the only one who knows about Chucky so far. But he's so pissed off that he allows Chucky to talk him into changing his mind, so Jake gives Chucky to Lexy. Now Chucky can kill her himself!

Because time and inconvenience have little to no consistent meaning, while her and Caroline's parents (they're the Hackensack First Couple, by the way, which partly explains why their children are annoying and selfish) are at Miss Fairchild's Parent/Guardian Teacher Conference (which is definitely going to last an unrealistically long time, and which the First Couple definitely won't indignantly storm out of when they see their eldest daughter cosplaying as a recently electrocuted local on social media), Lexy invites the entire school over to her house for a silent rave. This includes Devon, Junior, and a classmate named Oliver (because new characters named Oliver are great for TV ratings; just ask The Brady Bunch), whom Lexy proceeds to kiss and dry-hump right in front of Junior. Did I mention she's a bitch? And a bitch?

Never mind that, though, because Lexy manages to talk her way out of it and be "vulnerable" with Junior when she has to put Caroline to bed. Her lullaby of choice? "Don't Fear the Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult. This WTF needs more cowbell....

Following one of the best lines from the trailer,

Chucky makes a stalking mistake of his own and ends up killing Oliver while the ravers get lost in the blaring awesomeness of their noise-cancelling headphones downstairs. This was easy enough to swallow, but the suspension of disbelief totally fries the Coke when Chucky eventually does get around to killing Lexy. We get a nice payoff to Chucky's strangulation line from earlier in the episode, which I appreciated. But we also get the worst showdown in a burning room since Busta Rhymes fought Michael Meyers in Halloween: Resurrection, and yet none of the ravers downstairs pays any mind to the multiple backdraft fireballs erupting through the air above them. I can understand no one hearing Lexy screaming for her life or Chucky's iconic, maniacal laughter. But fire is hot. And big fire is very hot. How does no one feel that?

While Chucky was turning Lexy's rave into the Fyre Festival at Burning Man, the First Couple were learning that their eldest daughter is a bitch from Hell, and I was screaming unheard obscenities at the dancing morons on my phone, Jake was paying respects at his parents' graves, which are only a few plots away from the climax of Bride Of Chucky. Convenient plots are plot convenient....

The episode concludes with a resolution to Chucky's "first time" flashback, wherein young Charles and Mrs. Ray discover that the spree killer (from the radio broadcast that no one paid attention to earlier) has broken into their house and murdered Chucky's father. The twist is painfully obvious to anyone who has watched a horror movie before, but it calls back to Chucky's "hiding behind an innocent face" comment, and does a good job of explaining Chucky's origins while maintaining the "pure evil" simplicity that more well-known slasher villains have benefited from over the years. Also, it invites kind of a bonkers fan theory, based on how the killer's imposing frame and long, ratty hair look similar to the adult Charles Lee Ray that we briefly see at the beginning of Child's Play. Also how the killer is shown shuffling away at the end of the episode with a butcher knife in his hand. Given that description, it could just as easily have been Michael Meyers himself, and the timing is most definitely wrong. But I considered the possibility that Chucky either modeled his adult appearance after the man who bore witness to his first kill, or else had been secretly into voodoo as a child, and invoked Damballah to take over the man's body. It's weird, and it's probably wrong, but it's cool to think about, isn't it?

Despite the persistent character stupidity, that hackneyed edit, and the contrived writing of certain situations, I liked this episode. Brad Dourif's performance is masterful, Jake is actually a compelling hero, the Caroline/Chucky scenes are gold yet again, and the flashback was decent as both a framing device and a suspense tale of its own. As long as you haven't already seen dozens of movies that pull the same twist.

I hope everyone had a happy Halloween, and I will see you next week with a look at tomorrow night's episode of Chucky. Oh, and I really should get that Ticket Stubs post out before Impeachment: American Crime Story ends. For now, though, I need to get to my weekly milestone for Accounting so I don't feel too inadequate to attend my weekly mentoring call.

Ticketmaster,

out.