Ticket Stubs #40: Assault on Precinct 13

Article by Sean Wilkinson,

a.k.a. The Ticketmaster

The only word that comes to mind right now is wow.

It has been an incredibly long time since I posted one of these (about seven and a half years!), and not only does that make me feel old and serve as yet another reminder of the many ways that I have wasted my time and money since then, it reminds me of all the ways my world, and the world in general, has gotten smaller in the process of getting bigger. I began writing these reviews during my first go-round through college, on several forgotten and defunct platforms (Yahoo! Groups and MySpace, specifically), in a different state, in an era when physical media was king and face-to-face conversation was still making an effort to be the norm. Countless bankrupt companies and discontinued physical rental services, an obsolete programming language (Adobe Flash)--and one too-long pandemic--later, the world is so saturated with ways to instantly self-gratify without the "inconvenience" of interacting with other people that I often feel too overwhelmed to seek out books, music, and film with the same gusto as when I started almost eighteen years ago. Academics and personal struggles aren't helping me be prolific, either.

Nonetheless, I have been trying to get in the mood to do this again for some time, and this week, I thought, what the hell? Let's do it!

As I mentioned at the end of my last post, I chose to re-release this review because Ant-Man & the Wasp (which stars Lawrence Fishburne as the MCU version of Marvel hero, Goliath) is fairly fresh in my mind, and my family are currently re-watching The Sopranos (which stars Drea deMatteo as Christopher's girlfriend, Adriana). Both actors are also featured in a film I reviewed in SW@ Ticket #40: Mental Assault, Commendable But Confusing (the other film I reviewed, Mindhunters, was previously re-posted here). That was the fortieth issue of my original review series, this is the fortieth issue of Ticket Stubs, and today is October 13th, so I'm doing this!

FROM June 3, 2005 (SW@ Ticket #40: Mental Assault, Commendable but Confusing): Today's review takes a look at the world of cop movies with unnecessary characters and tacked on confusion, as presented Assault on Precinct 13, starring Ethan Hawke, Lawrence Fishburne, Drea deMatteo, Brian Denehey, John Leguizamo, Maria Bello, and JaRule.  Hawke is always good as a cop; Denehey is appropriately cast as the soon-to-be-retired cop with a drinking problem; Fishburne always makes villainy look cool; and Bello never fails to bring the right mix of sex and sarcasm to her characters.  But deMatteo is just a uniformed version of her Adriana character from The Sopranos--more arrested hooker than arresting officer; and Leguizamo and JaRule are just there in their respective roles as junkie and gangsta to fulfill the paranoia/explosion quota.  But what remains after the excess is eliminated is a "shit on pause" relationship between Hawke's cop and Fishburne's mobster, forming a strong thread that runs through the snow and darkness of this minimalist suspense-actioner and making everything else bearable.
B

And now, for something completely different, but not really: What you read above was the version that I edited into a more refined and concise form for a newspaper audition portfolio, which I called my Greatest Hits of the time. I also corrected some old inaccuracies for today's release. At first, I was going to merge this version with the original, less mature version. But I thought about it and decided to include them both separately for your comparison and enjoyment (criticism? Cancellation? Indifference? Tuna fish?).

Here is the original composition (introduction and cast list omitted, which went unchanged from version to version), as it was released on Yahoo! Groups back on June 3, 2005:

Hawke is always good as a cop; Denehey is appropriately cast as an old (and therefore soon to be retired), Irish (and therefore always drunk) cop; Fishburne always makes villainy look cool; and Bello always fits the role of the slightly chipper, totally sexy smartass. But deMatteo is just added in for sex, looking more like an arrested hooker or stripper than an arresting officer; and Leguizamo and JaRule are just there in their respective roles as junkie and gangster to fulfill the paranoia/stupidity/explosion quota. Good thing they are shot early on, too bad Maria Bello had to die before she could have sex with Ethan Hawke. But what remains after the excess is eliminated is a "shit on pause" relationship between Hawke's cop and Fishburne's mobster, forming a strong thread that runs through the snow and darkness of this minimalist suspense-actioner and pretty much makes everything else bearable.
B

Quote of the week: "Ball of Confusion;/ that's what the world is today."
-Love & Rockets, Ball of Confusion

I later changed the Quote of the Week to If the Lyric Fits, as most of the quotes I selected after a certain point were song lyrics. This was originally posted prior to the name change, so I kept the Quote moniker intact for posterity.

Stay Tuned for my thoughts on the first episode of Chucky, and another Ticket Stubs is on the way, featuring Impeachment: American Crime Story actor Clive Owen as one of several men named Steve.

The world today is a ball of confusion, but don't let that stop you from doing the (reasonable) things you love. Goodnight, and

Ticketmaster,

out.