Just the Ticket #109: One Night At Willy's
What happens when you combine Child's Play, Five Nights At Freddy's, and Texas Chainsaw Massacre, and add Nicolas Cage? You get this week's Just the Ticket!
Before I continue, don't forget to click those social media buttons and leave your thoughts in the comments section down below.
This one's a must-watch, so go do that on Apple TV, Prime Video, YouTube, Vudu, or Google Play now because a SPOILER Warning! is now in effect.
Sorry, I couldn't resist....
Following a long sequence of production logos that would make the Marvel Studios logo look at its watch repeatedly, Willy's Wonderland opens with one of those annoying-to-disturbing kid-friendly songs ("It's your birthday/and it's time to have some fun/It's your birthday/so let's party, everyone/It's your birthday...") playing over a flickering shot of a male victim being dragged away by bad practical effects while screaming poorly-acted screams, and then an also-flickering POV shot of a terrified couple who are being chased by an unseen something that kills them offscreen, complete with scream queen screams and a wall-splattering of fake blood. I appreciate the effort to build the suspense of what is doing the killing here, but chances are good that the only reason you know about Willy's Wonderland is that you saw the trailer on YouTube, which spoils the surprise in advance and renders the suspension of suspense unnecessary. Also, using the darkness of the flicker to throw up the opening credits defeats the real purpose of a horror movie flicker.
Thankfully, this cliche'd bloodbath cuts to Nicolas Cage, driving what I can only assume (after watching Gone In 60 Seconds, Drive Angry, and The Sorcerer's Apprentice--where Cage's Sorcerer is seen driving "Eleanor" from GI60s) is one of his own cars down a Nevada highway while a classic rock arrangement of the Willy's Wonderland theme plays in the background.
The film's soundtrack was written (and in some cases performed) by a composer named Emoi in his first feature-length credit. Emoi also provides the speaking and singing voice for the main villain, Willy the Weasel. This is an impressive feat that few have ever attempted, and the music is honestly pretty good for a production this small.
After losing four tires to a spike strip, Cage's character here is stranded in the fictional town of Hayesville, which has a suspiciously low population, a suspiciously high number of abandoned vehicles, a suspiciously broken phone system, and a suspiciously broken ATM. Armed with nothing but a case of energy punch and a beard inspired by Adam Sandler in Uncut Gems, he must spend one night fixing up the titular abandoned fun center (suspiciously tagged with phrases like "Child Killers" and "Gateway to Hell") to pay off the repairs to his vehicle.
Credited as "The Janitor," Nicolas Cage acts as Cagey as possible despite never saying a word. He stares, he nods, he shakes hands with proprietor Tex Macadoo (Drop Dead Diva and Revolution's Ric Reitz, playing a smooth-talking Southerner stereotype whose name, even by fictional character standards, sounds made up), he cleans everything with a mix of businesslike obsession and sensual reverence (at one point, I could picture the director saying, "pretend the bathroom from Saw is one of your cars," and it made me laugh just thinking about it), he takes scheduled breaks to chug his energy punch and dry-hump a pinball machine like it's Uma Thurman in Pulp Fiction (a seriously fantastic scene!), and when the homicidal animatronics come knocking, he kicks. Major. ASS. The whole "they have no idea who they're up against" thing does lose steam with each consecutive fight, but who cares? It's Nic Cage performing Fatalities and beating the oil out of the serial-killer-possessed mascots of a condemned theme restaurant. What more could you ask for?
A supporting cast?
Fine.
There is also a Sherriff (played by Beth Grant, who usually gets typecast as a political conservative, religious fanatic, or rulemonger in films like Rainman, Child's Play 2, and Bad Words, among many others) who goes along with the murder cycle in an effort to save the remnants of her town from Willy and crew, a complicit mechanic named Jed (Chris Warner, who looks like a cross between Greg Grunberg and Vincent D'Onofrio, with acting chops seemingly inspired by the latter), a gaggle of horny, cannon-fodder teenagers because subverted slasher movie, and a final girl named Liv (Emily Tosta, Mayans M.C. and the Party of Five reboot, whose character name here is incredibly on the nose, even by fictional character standards, kind of like if Marvel had decided Captain America's civilian name should be Mark N. Flagg instead of Steve Rogers), who has a dark family history with the denizens of Willy's Wonderland.
Speaking of them, after the cheesy-bad practical effects of the opening sequence, things step up considerably when Willy the Weasel, Ozzie the Ostrich, Knighty Knight, Arty the Alligator, Cammy Chameleon, Tito the Turtle, Gus Gorilla, and the terrifyingly nimble Siren Sara come on screen. The suit actors and puppeteers do a phenomenal job of bringing their characters to life, starting with small movements here and there to build actual suspense and adopting a creepy, robotic gait on the few occasions when they are shown walking. Despite such cumbersome suits being involved, the fights between Cage's Janitor and the larger mascots are competently choreographed and executed. The folks behind Psycho Goreman could learn a thing or two from Molly Coffee (who designed all, and fabricated most--of the costumes, many of which had to be replaced on-set due to copyright concerns with their similarities to the FNAF cast). Beast mode on you, girl!
Not knowing that the Janitor is inside, cleaning house in several ways, the group of teens set out to douse Willy's Wonderland in gasoline and burn it to the ground. But Liv spots him through a window and decides to go in and rescue him, with the rest of the group reluctantly following suit and getting slaughtered by the remaining mascots for their slasher victim incompetence. Meanwhile, the Sherriff catches wind of this and goes to restore the supernatural order by pleading with Willy and keeping the Janitor imprisoned inside the Wonderland building. But despite clear evidence that
the Janitor can handle himself against a seven-foot-tall, serial killer-possessed weasel robot capable of swatting a human being in half, and that he might therefore be the one person to provide a permanent solution to her town's murderer problem, she insists that he just be a good sacrifice and die. So, of course, slasher movie stupidity gets what slasher movie stupidity deserves, and only Liv, the Janitor, and Cage's newly repaired car come out of the film alive. Oh, and the way Liv comes into her own as a final girl is the most badass, hilariously creative development in slasher history.
True, a lot of what the film does right rests on Cage's wordless performance and the creature effects, as well as riding the popularity of its video game inspirations, but that's all the more reason to love it for what it is: a good, fun time.
But for those of you who want more, I have a theory for you: the Janitor is John Milton from Drive Angry, on a mission to exterminate some demonic furries and save Liv's soul from Purgatory. Liv and the Janitor exchange looks several times in Willy's Wonderland, and they are usually shot and framed as moments of significance, as if they are recognizing each other as soul and savior. Also, in his first moments on screen, the Janitor reacts to his predicament and the ensuing inconveniences that lead him to Willy's with indifferent acceptance, as if he is supposed to be there. The Janitor has a job to do, and he approaches every aspect of his situation as exactly that: all parts of the job. But his job isn't merely to keep the building clean for a reopening that may never happen because ritual sacrifices, it's a contract to eliminate the souls of the eight Satan-worshipping serial killers that are possessing the mascots of Willy's, help Liv come into her own as a badass, and get her out of Hayesville/Purgatory in one piece. Then there are his scheduled breaks and regular consumption of energy punch to consider. It's almost like it isn't just his favorite drink, but a scheduled dose of medication. The lore goes that those who visit Purgatory against the natural order of things should not eat or drink anything that is offered them by its residents, lest they become trapped there. So perhaps the opposite is true in this case; the Janitor has brought his own beverage supply, and by drinking something that did not originate in Purgatory/Hayesville on a regular schedule, he is maintaining his freedom from an otherworldly place that he doesn't naturally belong.
Then add in the fact that the Janitor tanked several shots from Willy right after the giant weasel chopped the Sherriff in half with its bare hand. Not only does the Janitor appear to die as a result of these strikes, but he rises moments later, seemingly back to full strength, and kills Willy for good. Aside from looking nonsensically badass, this would suggest that the Janitor, a.k.a. John Milton, a.k.a. Johnny Blaze (because names) just for the Hell of it--pun intended--cannot die because he has already died several times in previous movies and been granted immortality by his superiors, so long as he keeps drinking that punch on the regular.
Speaking of the miracles of modern medicine, movie production is picking back up now that COVID vaccines are in circulation, so I'd like to resume movie reviews on a weekly basis if possible. Let me know in the comments below what day you'd like to see me post (just don't say Monday or Saturday because those are reserved for Anime and Marvel content, respectively), and whether you'd like me to keep the Just the Ticket name or come up with something more day-of-the-week-appropriate. And stay tuned for a new Anime Spotlight on Monday, when I'll start my Isekai Quartet review series.
Ticketmaster,
Out!
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