Just the Ticket #16: Tinker, Tailor, Waste of Time

I have seen many movies in my life, but I have seldom, if ever, seen a movie as boring and pointless as Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy.
Bringing a miniscule iota of character to an otherwise bland production is Gary Oldman (Christopher Nolan's Batman Trilogy) as retired spy George Smiley, who according to the film's synopsis, is supposed to help MI-6 uncover a Russian mole in their organization during the Cold War.
But what the trailer advertised as an exciting, punctuated spy-hunter yarn actually consisted of roughly two hours of Oldman and several nondescript, personality-void Brits driving out to the middle of nowhere to walk aimlessly while dropping insignificant names and discussing events we never get to see. Meanwhile, various faceless Russains, Hungarians, and other Eastern Europeans, accompanied by subtitles that are both too small and too fast to read, are assassinating unremarkable film extras in an effort to shock the sleeping viewer awake long enough to realize that the pointless talk has been ceaseless as well.
When the highlight of a spy film is a cameo by a Russian Santa Claus, don't waste your money.
F

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Stay Tuned #55: Goosebumps (Disney+ Season One)

Image
Article by Sean Wilkinson, a.k.a. the Ticketmaster I'm confused, Ticketholders. And disappointed in the lack of originality in visual media over the past few years. On top of the Fear Street trilogy and the TV series I'm reviewing today, I've also been watching the first season of Yellowjackets on Netflix because Paramount+ (like a broken floor scrubber) has a lot of buffering issues. All three are either set in or flash back to the 90s, and include a lot of the same songs and relationship dynamics (troubled same-sex couple, love triangle, toxic relationship, etc.). So the plot points and characters start to bleed together (heh; horror puns...) after awhile. But that doesn't make them bad products on their own merits. By my own actions, my merits (viewer analytics) have diminished significantly this month, so please remember to  Become A Ticketholder  if you haven't already, comment your thoughts on the Goosebumps reboot at the bottom of this post, help out my
Read more

Zenescope - Omnibusted #26: Grimm Fairy Tales TPB Volume 10

Image
Article by Sean Wilkinson, a.k.a. the Omnibuster I know that this is the third of these I've done in a row, but I have an established pattern to adhere to, so let's get Omnibusted ...again! As suggested by  Volume Nine , the Grimm Fairy Tales  issues contained in the Volume Ten Trade Paperback will continue to follow the journey of Sela and her companions through Myst. According to the  Zenescope Entertainment Wiki Chronological Reading Order , Volume Ten is also the last before Zenescope's first two big event series ( Myths & Legends  and  The Dream Eater Saga ). And Volume Ten marks the first time since  GFT #49  that an issue (or in this case, an entire Volume of issues) has gone untitled on the credits page. Speaking of The Dream Eater Saga , the zero issue of that series was featured as the short story for Volume Ten, as opposed to past Volumes having original short stories (or in one case so far, a Swimsuit Special) that added lore to the series. But because I wou
Read more

Dragon Blog Daima #23: Chatty

Image
Article by Sean Wilkinson, a.k.a. the Animeister My plan to record footage of me playing the new Vampire Survivors ' Ode to Castlevania DLC didn't pan out the way I wanted (because the update is massive -  or as MasakoX once pronounced it, which feels like a more appropriate expression, "ma- hoo -sive" - and I don't have the time, desire, or phone memory to devote to entire days of recording). But I'm still enjoying the experience of unlocking the new characters (there's a guy with a grenade launcher! A whip that explodes!), discovering the new quality of life changes (there's a map zoom now!), and exploring the environment (Dracula's castle! Hidden forest clearings! Giant bosses! Metroid vania -style progression unlocks! Platforming in a horde survival roguelike‽). And I don't think I'm even halfway done yet! So if you love playing Castlevania (or watching people on the internet play Castlevania ), give Vampire Survivors and the Ode t
Read more